Mike Duffy

Have I been dumb and just not noticed it or is this a new event? What are you going to do with your new found powers? And when is Nelson being made a moderator too?

I think you're all a bit dodgy for reading a post entitled "FAO ladyboy" anyway. If I saw a post with that title I wouldn't even open it.

Nor me.

Yep been there too three years ago. But now settled down again and expecting my first baby any day now. AND... I got the Zed and the Lotus Carlton so can't all be bad!

Is there something you know that you're not telling us?!

Happy birthday Mr Gio.

I've had the Bridgestone SO2, Pirelli P Zeros, Yokoham S1Zs and AVS sport. The toyos are simply better than any of them, apart from the wear rate. However, they wear a damn site better than the Yokohamas!

My dad beat Bernie Clifton in a boxing match when he was at school. Apparently Bernie was a piece of piss, it was the ostrich that was a bitch to put down.

Not much? That would haunt me forever. You're obviously made of sterner stuff than me,

I've been racking my brains trying to work out the missing swear word that would make that a word. Any ideas?

The Toyos on that site are very expensive.

Best one there is Stu. I've tried them all. http://www.mytyres.net is where I get them from.

My Lotus Carlton used to do this. There was a small electric pump that pumped water through the turbos and (presumably added as an after-thought and a quick fix) around the cylinder head near cylinders 5 and 6 where the heat built up a bit more than was intended! It used to run for about five minutes after turning off the car.

Big thanks to Mac1 and AndyP for helping me sort out my car's problems. Pair of top blokes - helped me diagnose my problem and couldn't do enough to help. This is what this place is about and I hope I can return the favour some time. Got a new air flow meter off AndyZ yesterday and the car's running a treat. Thanks guys.

Very humerous. But aren't these only really that funny when you know the people involved and/or you've got the balls to post them where they're going to read them? I presume these are people you've pi55ed off on another board.

What do you crave? Jane (my wonderful pregnancy girlfriend [cough]) craves the only things that are impossible to buy within a 100 mile radius. If you can buy it round the corner, she doesn't want it! If you can buy it in Abu Dabi, that's what she wants just as you're knackered and going to bed!

LMAO! Everyone thought it but no one said it. It was just simmering under the surface of sympathy for the deer. You evil bastard Stu! Your place in heaven has now gone to the deer.

I like it. Each to their own I suppose.

What have the Romans ever done for us...

Top banana!

Where's "I had two cats but didn't get custody of them in the divorce!"? That's the option I need.

Help!

Oh and here's some more info. When I ran it this morning, it was stumbling all over the place. A sure way to stall it was to press the accelerator. And, thinking about it, it can't be the CAS if pressing the accelerator affects it. Doesn't sound like an ignition or timing problem. Sounds like an air/fuelling problem. But then again, what do I know?!

Doh! Spoke too soon! Just started it this morning without the MAF connected and the same problem's there. It ran fine for a minute then stumbled and died. Now when I start it, it idles all over the place then dies. Without the MAF it should still idle, so I think I can rule that out of the equation. Also, I presume this means an induction leak can also be ruled out as the measured quantity of air is no longer being used in the fuel calculation. I.e. it doesn't matter where the engine gets its air from as long as it gets it. The fuel will be calculated from the TPS. I also presume (rightly or wrongly!) that this must be a "global" problem and not due a single cylinder or bank of cylinders. Even if one is functioning it should be able to keep running. So I'm thinking it may be: Engine sensor. Fuel problem (blockage, pressure, etc). CAS And I'm thinking it can't be: Not head gasket or top end related as this would only affect one bank. Not ignition as this stays fairly independant up to each spark plug. Not TPS as I've tried it with the MAF connected but the TPS disconnected. The problem stays if I do this. Any other ideas anyone? Getting really lost with this one.

Cheers Jeff I agree entirely with what you're saying. The error codes would not cause the engine to stumble as it was. If the MAF was deemed faulty by the ECU, its data would not be used and the engine would not go above 2500rpm, etc. However, it now appears that it is the MAF sensor after all. It was only that one time that I got the error codes. And, at the time, the engine was sometimes running ok for short periods. After that I wasn't getting the error but the car was running like a whore. Your advice was invaluable though as it got me thinking. So I just disconnected the MAF sensor and problem solved, in a manner of speaking. Car's not running above 2500rpm and is underpowered etc, showing all the symptoms of a totally failed MAF. But, it now idles and doesn't stumble and stall. When I reconnect the MAF, the idle's all over place and it eventually dies on me. So it appears that the MAF was not giving readings that were out of limits (apart from the once when the error code appeared) but was giving readings that were very inaccurate. Hence the error code not appearing and therefore the car continuing to use the MAF's erroneous data. So, anyone know where I can get one or how to fix one?