Mike Duffy

A big box of condoms for after the baby's born!

000A

Yeah fair point Turbot, considered that. But then I got to thinking. If I remove the beer I've just bought from Bargain Booze from the boot, that might reduce its mass. But that would just be stupid leaving that good beer by the side of the road and driving off. So I took the petrol out instead and drank the beer.

Now I know we've all had a laugh at Nelson in the past. So I thought I'd give him the benefit of the doubt and I tried a bit of this mass reduction business. I had a good look at the car and I thought, "What's quite heavy in there and easy to remove?" So I drained the full tank of petrol I'd just bought so I just had a nice light tank. Result... slow as ****! Absolute bollocks Nelson, the thing doesn't even move now! Anyway, back to my beer.

Nope, still baking nicely. Official date is 6th July. What northwest meet? Maybe I should be arsed to check the event board! I may be tempted to come if it's not in that nasty country that's got your island bolted onto it! Hang on, I'm just going to go and check... Yep! Sounds good! I even see Nelson may be going so it's bound to be a laugh. May even bring our preggars. Been on Amstel, San Miguel and Murphys tonight. Lovely combination. Going to stay in front of this computer 'till I run out of Murphys!

And I've just read what I wrote, complete with spelling mistakes. Just hoping Ajay doesn't read everything in detail anymore!

It's beer mate! Won't remember writing those words tomorrow. How's things Timski? Not had a chat for ages.

No one wants to bomb innocent people but war's not some clinical sterile operation where the bad guy gets hurt and everyone else is hunky dorey. Saddam's a vile person. More so for what he does to his "own" people than some perceived global threat that we use as the excuse to actually start the war. START the war, not join in to right some wrong that someone else has done. I would like nothing better than to see Saddam removed and a benign democracy grow out of nothing. Unfortunately, our only option to get rid of Saddam or his sick offspring that will surely follow him to power, is to go to war and help in the installation of a subsequent government. Now on balance, is this really going to hurt and kill less innocent people than the dickhead can manage on his own? And is it going to provide a more stable middle-east than the existing one which is a breeding ground for resentment of the West and, therefore, terrorism? I would dearly love to see the back of Saddam. But blindly following another person I would dearly love to see the back of into war is not necessarily the right way, however noble, just and good-intentioned the cause may seem. Anyway, I'm going back to my beer. Love and hugs. Mike [Edited 'coz beer doesn't help my spelling!]

For the last time boys and girls... Toyos every time! Tried them all. Toyo Proxes... king of tyres.

No problems mate! It would have been literally rude not to.

Now that's got to hurt!

If you're looking for information on weight differences, Nelson's your main man!

I'm sure you can work it out matey! Just do the motions and think "out of the box". Ha!

Stick, gunpowder, tube to put gunpowder in, match...

True. But if anything was sucked downwards, the undertray would be the first bit to kiss the road! As my namesake says, there's not a chance it could hold any pressure or contribute to downforce without coming to pieces.

Quite enjoy Australian DJing every now and then.

Think the starter motor's on its way out. For a while now, it's been making a slight noise after starting. Like the teeth haven't disengaged the fly wheel properly for a fraction of a second. But tonight, it's started getting worse. Twice now I've tried to start it and I've just received a grinding noise and no turning of the engine. Only on the second attempt does it work. Which probably means that in a day or two it won't start at all! Anyone care to render an opinion on the problem? And also, does anyone know the price of a new starter? Cheers Mike

Absolutely superb! Can't imagine how you both feel. Going to find out myself on the 6th July this year. Well done Wendy. Please tell Jane it was a breeze and didn't hurt a bit if you ever speak to her! Hope you're all ok. Congratulations!

Shut up! Mine are bloody lovely!

Much as it pains me to agree with the mass obsessed one, he has got a point on this one. What you lose in down force, you gain in having to add less momentum to the vehicle in order to accelerate. Weight = mass * g. Momentum = mass * velocity. It's this momentum that you have to change in order to accelerate. What you gain on the swings, you lose on the roundabouts.

LOL Welcome back Nelson!

I wondered where everyone had gone. However, there appears to be some bug in the server software 'coz everyone's name is appearing as Senna. I find it easier to read if you copy that lot into a word processor and edit the names to something more suitable......

So go on then... what have you done and how are you planning on getting away with it?!

Been playing trivial pursuit over Christmas again Ajay?

I go away for a couple of weeks and look what happens.