pete shrimp

Bit long but well worth the read...:D :D -----Original Message----- From: CUSTOMER X Sent: Tuesday, January 21, 2003 9:16 AM To: customerservice@dynamat.com Subject: FALSE ADVERTISING!!!!I HAVE BEEN RIPPED OFF BY DYNAMAT HI I AM WRITING IN TO MAKE YOU AWARE THAT I LIVE IN THE UK AND THAT I HAVE JUST BOUGHT SOME DYNAMAT ORIGINAL AND ON THE BOX IT SAYS IT CONTAINS "4 SQUARE METERS" OF SOUND DEADENING, WHEN I OPENED THE BOX I WAS HORRIFIED TO FIND ONLY ABOUT 2FT BY 1FT PATCH IN THE BOX. I HAVE TAKEN IT BACK TO THE SHOP AND ALL THE OTHERS ARE EXACTLY THE SAME SIZE! I WILL BE CONTACTING TRADING STANDARDS TO REPORT THIS AS FALSE ADVERTISING IF I DO NOT GET A RESPONSE WITHIN A FEW DAYS!!!THAT IS A SERIOUS CRIME AND WOULD BE DELT WITH SEVERLY! THANKYOU CUSTOMER X -----Original Message----- From: Paul Sonoda Sent: 21 January 2003 20:15 To: Matthew Bboast; CUSTOMER X Cc: Kevin@dynamat Subject: Dynamat sizing Dear CUSTOMER X, Thank you for your interest in Dynamat and Dynamic Control. I believe there is some misunderstanding about the packaging. You did not specify the actual Dynamat product but from your description, I believe it to be the Dynamat Original Wedge Pak. (It should look triangular in shape) The Dynamat Original Wedge Pak contains 4 square feet of Dynamat Original or about 18" x 32" in size. Also on the package we include the metric measurements of 0.37 square meters. I have included a picture of the packaging with "4 Square Feet" circled. I hope this helps to resolve any confusion. If you need any additional assistance, please ,let me know. Best regards, Paul Sonoda Director of Marketing Dynamic Control of North America, Inc. -----Original Message----- From: BBG - Matthew Boast Sent: 23 January 2003 14:38 To: CUSTOMER X Subject: RE: Dynamat sizing Dear CUSTOMER X To follow up to Paul's email from Dynamic Control I would like to ask at which dealer you purchased the product? Also could you confirm that the product was in fact the 10125 Original Pack? Many thanks Matthew Boast Director of Operations -----Original Message----- From: CUSTOMER X Sent: 24 January 2003 09:49 To: BBG - Matthew Boast Subject: RE: Dynamat sizing hi matthew, thankyou for your reply, in my original post to dynamat i put in my mail "4 square meters" i meant 4 square feet! i bought the pack from *****world in ******* under **** in *********, the pack i bought was the dynamat original wedge pack and when i measured it to see if it was 4 square foot it wasn't it was 1.5 ft by 2.5ft. i just want to get this matter resolved because it is false advertising and i feel i have been ripped off and have payed for something i have not got! thanks for your help CUSTOMER X -----Original Message----- From: BBG - Matthew Boast Sent: 24 January 2003 10:50 To: CUSTOMER X Subject: RE: Dynamat sizing CUSTOMER X Thank-you for your reply. The Dynamat Original Wedge Pack should measure 18 inches by 32 inches to make the product 4 sq. feet. Because of your request, this morning I have randomly spot-checked 10 rolls of this product. Each and every one measures OVER the required sizing. In fact they all measured the same, this being 18.5 inches by 32.25 inches, which equals 4.14 sq. feet. This is actually MORE than the advertised size on the side of the box. We have been supplying Dynamic Control products in the UK for some 10 years now and this is the first instance we have ever had of the product falling short of the specified sizing. In just the past 8 months alone we have sold over 6000 rolls of just this one product! If at all possible I would ask that you re-measure the sheet. If it does in fact fall short of the required 18 x 32, then please simply return the product to the Motorworld store who will be happy to exchange it and return it to ourselves for evaluation. Please let me know your findings. Many thanks Matthew Boast Director of Operations -----Original Message----- From: CUSTOMER X Sent: 24 January 2003 13:27 To: BBG - Matthew Boast Subject: RE: Dynamat sizing hi matt, i dont know where you learnt maths but in my books 4 square foot is 4 foot long by 4 foot wide! not 18" by 32" if you could provide calculations to prove this miraculas discovery then i would be very greatful thankyou CUSTOMER X -----Original Message----- From: BBG - Matthew Boast Sent: 24 January 2003 14:20 To: CUSTOMER X Subject: RE: Dynamat sizing Dear CUSTOMER X I do not believe my mathematical prowess is in debate here! However, (and at no charge to yourself) I am willing to give you a basic lesson in Geometry to prove my "mirculas" (actually miraculous) discovery...(FYI I also give spelling lessons). Let us take and object, a square for this example, measuring 2 feet on each side. To work out the area of this object you must multiply its X axis by its Y axis. So we do this simple sum - 2 feet X 2 feet OR 2 feet squared (as it is a square), which equals 4 sq feet - GET IT? Now lets take another square measuring 4 feet on each side. Now, this squares area is - 4 feet x 4 feet OR 4 feet squared, which equals 16 sq feet - GET IT AGAIN? For your future reference this amazing geometric equation also happens to be true for all 4 sided objects that have internal angles of 90 degrees - for example a rectangle. So, now lets take a rectangle whose X axis is 1.54 feet long (18.5 inches) and Y axis is 2.69 feet long (32.25 inches). Applying the same principles as before we can work out the area of this rectangle to be - 1.54 feet x 2.69 feet, which equals 4.14 sq feet - ARE YOU THERE YET? I hope this will clear up any obvious confusion you are suffering. In this brief lesson I have not had time to cover circles, but should you ever be in doubt that a pizza you buy is the wrong size please feel free to contact me again. My very best regards Matthew Boast Director of Operations -----Original Message----- From: CUSTOMER X Sent: 24 January 2003 14:58 To: BBG - Matthew Boast Subject: RE: Dynamat sizing NNNNNOOOOOO!!!!!! ok i see your point but your advertising is misleading and i still believe that 4 square foot is an object 4 foot long by the same wide hence being SQUARE! your product will never equal a REAL 4 square foot! just a question to prove my point..... HOW IS WOOD BOUGHT?......YOU GET A LUMP OF 2 BY 4 ITS 2"WIDE BY BY 4" LONG IF YOU GET 4" BY 4" ITS 4 INCHES LONG BY 4 INCHES WIDE! HENCE PROVING MY POINT! thankyou for your offer for the circles but i feel that there is no point in me doing that as i can get more advanced quicker by reading the ladybird book 1 thanks CUSTOMER X -----Original Message----- From: BBG - Matthew Boast Sent: 24 January 2003 16:18 To: CUSTOMER X Subject: RE: Dynamat sizing Dear CUSTOMER X Sorry, but the only point you are proving is mine. OK...let me ask you a question - If the wood is 2 by 4, then as you have said it is 2" wide by 4" long....SO what is the area ??? It has to be 8 sq inches - because 2 * 4 = 8. This is how we sell Dynamat. Are you saying that if the wood was advertised as 8 sq inches, you would expect it to be 8" by 8" ?? NO!!! Let's take the case of carpet... Say you have a square room and the measurements are 15 feet by 15 feet. The area of the floor in this room is then 225 sq feet...so this is how much carpet you would need to buy. By your rationale you suddenly think this rooms measurements are 225 feet long by 225 feet wide. If you were to go into Carpetland and buy a piece of carpet that was 100 sq feet....do you really think you would walk out of the store with a piece that measures 100 feet by 100 feet (apart from the fact that it would look quite amusing!). Does this make any sense now? I think you are "misleading" yourself with 'X feet square' and 'X square feet'. The 2 are VERY different. Our advertising is in no way misleading to the consumer. Basically what you are saying is that any commodity sold in sq ft or sq metres in the world, is sold misleadingly?!?! I do not think so. Hey!, maybe you are onto something....maybe the rest of the world has got it wrong. We will continue to advertise our product in this way until such time that I see you have won the Nobel Prize for your pioneering analysis of geometric equations that will change our views of the world...perhaps though you will have to read a few more of those ladybird books! Thanks again and best regards Matthew Boast PS. Perhaps you would be kind enough to explain how TV screen measurements work. The manufacturer says it has a 32" screen but when I measure the sides they are not 32"....now this IS misleading! Where am I going wrong?

You gonna make us all edit our posts and shuffle down 1. Go on then x-biker - you first. :D :D

0002. Is this the start of a very long thread? Pete

Clicking the "power" button allows an auto to redline in every gear whilst booting it. It automatically comes on when you boot it anyway, so I've never understood why there's a button :confused: HTH Pete

LOL!

LOL! Feel a bit guilty now :( . I'm sure there's worse in the Frence bits tho. Pete

Couldn't resist! Scroll down to the bottom: http://www.chez.com/jacky/images/cars/mercedes-1/split.html :D :D Pete

Let's send him a petition to get it scrapped LOL! Pete

Found this Tony, dunno if it helps... Stage 0 Stock 280-300HP STAGE I JWT POP Charger/Underdrive Pulley 305-325HP@10PSI Improved Low End Response STAGE II JWT ECU Upgrade 365-380HP@12-14PSI Removes Limiters/Expands Fuel, Timing, and Boost Maps/Increases Boost STAGE III B&B Test Pipes/Gut Pre-Cats 385-400HP@12-14PSI This Upgrade Will Shock You! STAGE IV Cat Back Exhaust 400-415HP@12-14PSI No Exhaust Restriction/Great Boost Response-Car Pulls Hard STAGE V Boost Controller 420-435HP@15PSI Steady Boost Response;Control/Solid 15PSI Of Boost STAGE VI JWT NOS System 490-505HP@15PSI Car Shoots Out Of The Hole/System Engaged Until 10PSI STAGE VII Intercoolers 495-510HP@15PSI A Must Have For Future Upgrades/Increased Cooling Efficiency STAGE VIII JWT Twin POP 510-525HP@15PSI No Intake Resrtiction/Turbos Will Sing STAGE IX Ported Trottle Bodies/Mached Intake 515-530HP@15PSI Car Now Ready For Injector/Turbo Upgrade STAGE X NISMO 555cc Injectors 530-545HP@17PSI Now Able To Increase Boost/Upgrade Turbos STAGE XI Sport 500 Turbos 555-575HP@17-21PSI Sport 600 Turbos 560-605HP@17-21PSI Sport 650 Turbos (Cam Upgrade Required) 620-675HP@17-21PSI STAGE XII JWT Cams/SGP Head Package 640-695HP@17-21PSI

Me! Me! I'll bring my camera to work tomorrow and post some pics in the evening! Cheers Pete

Shocking :eek: :confused: :eek: :confused: :eek: !!! http://www.chez.com/jacky/images/cars/mercedes-1/view.html Pete

Very nice Tony. Unfortunately it's black = slow. LOL!

I try not to use the horn on mine- it's too embarrassingly pathetic! :rolleyes: Pete

Saw this car yesterday, bloody nice car mate - v sorry for you. At least it's gone to a good home - he didn't last long without one LOL! Will post some pics of the 2 "Daventry Zeds" together when I can. Cheers Pete

If your Zed accelerates as fast as your post-count you'll have no probs mate ;) Pete

Why do we hear so many different times from different "official" sources? No way does an auto take 7.5s :confused: . Never been in a manual but 5.9 has got to be wrong too. Pete

I nicked 'em! Can't claim credit :cool: . Managed to work the UBB code tho! Pete

LOL! Thats gone around the office! James - posted your cheque this morn, shd get it tomorrow. Cheers Pete

LOL! A non-believer converted, good work mate! It is a great feeling to leave a passenger speechless and pinned back just by driving forwards in a straight line! :cool: :cool: Pete

How To Shower Like A Woman: 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to bathroom. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so that you can complain and whine even more about how you're getting fat. 4. Get in the shower. Look for facecloth, armcloth, legcloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins. 6. Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins. 7. Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes. 8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red raw. 9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash. 10. Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at least fifteen minutes as you must make sure that it has all come off). 11. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead. 12. Scream loudly when your boyfriend/husband flushes the toilet and you lose the water pressure. 13. Turn off shower. 14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots with Ajax. 15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small African country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel. 16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit. Attack with nails/tweezers if found. 17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 18. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and then rush to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed. How To Shower Like A Man: 1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile on the floor. 2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your girlfriend/wife along the way, flash her your tackle making the "woo" sound. 3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your manhood in the mirror, scratch your privates and smell your fingers for one last whiff. 4. Get in the shower. 5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth. (you don't use one) 6. Wash your face. 7. Wash your armpits. 8. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower. 9. Wash your privates and surrounding area. 10. Wash your bum, leaving hair on the soap bar. 11. Shampoo your hair. (do not use conditioner) 12. Make a shampoo Mohawk on top of your head. 13. Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror. 14. Pee (in the shower). 15. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the bath the whole time. 16. Partial dry off. 17. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles. Admire manhood size. 18. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor. 19. Leave bathroom and fan light on. 20. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your girlfriend/wife, pull off the towel, grab your privates, go "Yeah baby" and thrust your pelvis at her. 21. Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed. This is sooo true! LOL!

Lucky git! Wish I was old LOL! Good point about the limited mileage, I could do that on both cars Cheers mate Pete :D

Right, having just totalled £134 :eek: :eek: in petrol receipts since last wednesday, and got off the floor and calmed down I think it would be cheaper to run a £300 Escort or something on third party insurance only, to run as a daily driver instead of the Zed. Obviously I've been cruising around more than the average week at work but still :( Do all ins companys do this ie not fire or theft but TP only? Got the Mondeo but want something a lot cheaper to run and insure. Cheers for any advice Pete

Aha that should help :D

I'm 22 also, but with only 1 years ncb, my auto import TT insurance is £2.5K :eek: Not to put you off :rolleyes: - only been driving a couple of years... So take off 30%x30% NCB and adjust for driving experience I suppose. Tescos website is good for a quick quote if you don't want to start phoning yet. Plus you can quickly adjust all the parameters: value, annual mileage etc which is useful. Pete

There were two nuns... One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants. SL: It's logical. He wants to have sex with us. SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most?What can we do? SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster. SM: It's not working. SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too. SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute. SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way.He cannot follow us both. So the man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrives. SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened! SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both,so he followed me. SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then? SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could. SM: And? SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me. SM: Oh, dear! What did you do? SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up. SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do? SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants. SM: Oh, no! What happened then? SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than man with his pants down. And for those of you who thought it would be dirty, say two Hail Marys!