bigalz

Brings back memories with my jag, but it was an auto. Had some problems with the jag and got this mobile fitter round to have a look. His tranny was parked in front of the jag. He asked me to start it, put it in drive and keep it on the handbreak. The idiot reved it from under the bonnet, jag lurched forward straight over his foot and smashed into back of his transit :rofl: :rofl:

I think most of these places are legal these days and they pay tax. They get round it by running a private club. And the rest is just consenting adults. Obviousley no one wants to see toms walking the streets so they will always get nicked. They need to look more at these poor girls from easten countries who are being forced into it and be held there against their will. With regards to tax, I reckon over 60% of my household income goes to the goverment. I drink, smoke, use tons of petrol, so all high tax stuff. + my misses now has to pay VAT on her business so her profits have been halved since she went VAT registered. So she now has to work twice as hard to earn the same money.

Just a few... Bracknell has about 4 identical car park- 1st day in new job, went back to the car park and someone had nicked me Capri! Went round to the cop shop to report it and they promptly informed me of the 4 car parks so I trudged round each one till I found it. Doh! Was driving a works van one day when some tart in a posh merc cut me up, so I proceded to the usual beeping and finger gestures. Got back to work and was sacked on the spot. It was the bosses wife of our best client. Doh! Centre car park slip road bend in Caversham Park- saw all me mates sitting there chilling so decided to large it round the bend for a pose. Hit the dam wall. Doh! Ford capri again- coming home and throttle cable snapped. So jammed a rag on the carb to keep it half open. Got home to smoke pouring out and found a nice bonfire in my engine bay. Doh! Ford capri again. Took a girl out one night and hammering down a country road. Went round a bend and the wiring loom caught fire, engine died, lights died, pitch black- I just pulled up hand brake and hoped for the best. Didnt go out with her for long. Doh! Renault Traffic- Sonning humped back bridge- about 6 guys in the back- 50mph. Jeeez we got some height, but the landing was so rough, I injured all the guys in the back. One had a sliced thumb, the rest bruises. They promptly asked me to pull up the van while they gave me a quick slapping. Doh! The last one was not me driving but a goodun- I was 14 and on a day out with me old man. Somehow we got bogged down in some mud and were scratching our head wondering how to get it out when I nice new Police rover vittesse pulled up. The kind copper got out and asked if we needed a hand, so of course we agreed. Hitched up the tow rope to the front of my Dads Chrysler to the Front of the rozzer rover. Coppers began to pull and wheels spiining, but wouldnt budge, so the copper shouted out for my Dad to give it gas too, so theres loads of spinning and suddenly me old boys wheels gripped and he went careering straight into the nice new police car smashing in all the front. Me was in stitches! Double Doh!! God, I could go on all day, but its getting too scary bringing back all those memories.

I aint saying no more cause hes bigger than me and I'm scared of munsters :x:

yep she does look nice, spose ya gonna get some bling in there next- some of them yellow hoses will look cool :cool:

what we gonna do with that lot Baggins? Throw em in the lake I say :)

:rofl: :rofl: I aint touching my engine with water- gonna follow the herman munster method: leave it dirty and not put any oil in :tongue:

was lucky with them japfest dvds- I sent loads out using un-regestered post- all arrived next day and none teefed. Sometimes get dvds delivered to work from amazon and usually dont turn up, but I suspect our corrupt post room :xxx: is to blame

Nice looking zed pulling onto the A4 outside Maidenhead by the 'I love Lizzie' graffiti bridge opp the optimax station :duffer: . Did you here my zed go under the bridge- woooosh- sounds really noisy in this heat, think the engine struggles :( Thanks for the nod :)

Guy Also, can I hassle you for a techy question- not sure if you'd be able to help on this one. ntl BB seems to block certain features within internet explorer. Have found two examples of this. One is the Google toolbar in which you can view a websites page rank. Very useful to me running two sites. For some reason that feature does not work on ntl, but if I dialup using freeserve, works fine. Thought it may have been my router, but took that out and still the same. The 2nd instance is on a website where I signed up for an on-line course, when I access the course pages via ntl, they dont load properly, but again on freeserve or at the office, it works fine. I can only guess that ntl block a ceratin script or somthing like that. Any ideas? Cheers :)

spill the beans then, why is it so bad, I've often wondered whether its a case of cant find the staff or just budget restrictions or somthing else? I usually email them if I need to get any info, normally get a reply within 2 or 3 days.

me working earlys these days so was thinking about getting down there at 6, but I might nip home instead first as to avoid another maccy D dinner so could be more like 7 onwards. :)

I wanna find out what 172 feels like.... must get that speed restricter sorted :hyper: :rofl:

I dont want to get into the politics on this one and I'm not one to moan, all I can say is you gotta outsmart the fookers. When you're on home ground- you know the cameras, you know where the coppers are in wait, so drive hard then break! When you're out of town, go easier and follow your hunch. In Reading they had a camera setup in a van and it was highly publicised, even got a mention in The Sun (something about the most money making camera in the country). The thing is it was only used on two stretches of road, yet still loads got done by it including my mate twice- a new (scooby) driver not been on the road two years so he has to re-take his test. Dappy plonka I say :slap: So be like me (clean license, never been caught speeding (touch wood)) and follow your hunch and have the luck of the gods- you can be a boy racer and get away with it- ha ha :hyper:

Nice selection cod-man- especially the 4 (correction) 6 zeds. You win my prize for the amount of nice motors :shock:

Have used ntl for a couple of years- no real problems apart from if you need to phone them, you may want to take a day off work. But all them scumbag comms comapnies are the same :xxx: . Worst is our very own BT! I got BT and ntl coming into the house so hopefully bulletproof.

surely with those clamp things they would weigh more :rofl:

well I think cold boobs are more aerodynamic as the nips are all pointy- not sure about weight, all I know is my missis's are very heavy - Double G!! :dance:

fook me, I'm losing this one :mad: - ah b$ll$x, just bung me in the cryo chamber and I 'll wait for you to catch up :)

nah, she'll be saying Oh AL, you look so much like richard gere, so much better than them young little urchins like baggins :tongue: :dance:

yea nipper, but in 5 years time you be 34 like me with a few greyuns. My misses says I get better and younger with age :D

you're all dirty old men oops correction- we're all dirty old men

off the shoulder low cut gypsy looking tops does it for me ...and of course not on me

But I do have a zed for a pen1s extension :dance: :dance: :dance:

you know what they say- big feet= gigantic ..... :rofl: ...fookin shame I'm only a size 8 shoe :cry: :cry: