Craig David

I'll give you a pony for the wheels.

Has anyone else subscribed to Popbitch's weekly email. It's free, you just type in your email address (no other questions etc) and you get the mail every Thursday. It's absolutley awesome. Everyone I know who's tried it agrees. I think you sign up at http://www.popbitch.com This is todays: ***************************************************** The Sunday Times Rich List peers into the pockets of the filthy rich. Search the extended online lists to find out how much Brand Beckham is worth this year, how Coldplay divide the spoils and what Jordan hasn't spent on plastic surgery - yet! http://tinyurl.com/zrdwo ***************************************************** "Meaningless sex outside of a relationship is really horrible and pathetic and lonely." - Tom Cruise ----------------------------------------------------- POPBITCH _ _ _ _ __ ___ _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__ | '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \ | |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | | | .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_| |_| |_| 27.04.06 ISSUE 298 Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe go to http://www.popbitch.com * Sir Cliff versus the Blairs * K-Fed versus Dolby * Charts: Gnarls Barkley is still number one ----------------------------------------------------- >> The cheesy Simpsons Ash and Jess demand a pizza the action Jessica and Ashlee Simpson stayed at the Hilton hotel in Sydney on their recent MTV-funded trip. The hotel has one of the city's best restaurants, the Glass Brasserie, run by one of Australia's top chefs, Luke Mangan. The sisters went for dinner there one night, but wouldn't eat anything on the delicious menu (steaks, oysters, baby barramundi, chocolate tart etc). So what are two spoiled, hungry celebrities to do? Well, you sit in the restaurant in silence, surrounded by four enormous bodyguards, and order in from Pizza Hut - a large pepperoni and double cheese. http://www.glassbrasserie.com.au/ ----------------------------------------------------- At the PFA awards Liverpool players spent £5,000 on booze, West Ham players spent £7,000 but Chelsea players spent just £350 by sticking to Budweiser. ----------------------------------------------------- >> Doing it for the kids Blue singer hits morning assembly Anthony Costa is filling his post-pop star days brightening up the lives of Hertfordshire school-kids. He spent a morning singing at the primary school close to his parents' house in Sawbridgeworth. The head-teacher thanked Anthony, telling him how much these visits were appreciated by the children. Anthony proclaimed that he disagreed. "****ing" Terry Nutkins visited his primary school, apparently, and was a "boring *******." ----------------------------------------------------- Gruesome Twosome: Zac Goldsmith (the Tories green guru) and Kate Goldsmith (wife of brother Ben). ----------------------------------------------------- >> Big Questions Who people are asking about this week Which sharp-tongued fashion designer made a spectacle of himself at a brothel in Rio this year? At brothel 202, the fashionista asked for the three biggest black guys to shag him, but had forgotten to douche so sprayed the room with poo. Which young Hollywood star is thinking of announcing that he is bisexual? ----------------------------------------------------- A school in Kuala Lumpur is punishing student who don't do their homework by making them watch porn. ----------------------------------------------------- >> Confessions of Madonna's tour The roller-skating horses of the Middle East Madonna's Confessions of a Dancefloor tour has sold out around the world. Some details of what to expect: * Live To Tell will be performed on a crucifix. * Music is just an instrumental interlude during which her dancers will roller-skate before Madge skates on to sing Everybody. * Three themed sections - equestrian, Middle East and disco. * Set list is - Future Lovers, Get Together, Like a Virgin, Jump, Live to Tell, Forbidden Love, Isaac, Sorry, Like It Or Not, Sorry (remix). I Love New York, Let It Will Be, Ray of Light, Drowned World/Substitute for Love, Paradise [Not For Me], Music, Everybody, Deeper and Deeper Lucky Star, Hung Up Backstage photos including the crucifix and dancers' equestrian leather muzzle: http://www.popbitch.com/pictures ***************************************************** ?Johnny Borrell and the band have been in the studio completing the new Razorlight album. Catch the first play of new single ‘In The Morning’ with Jo Whiley on Radio One next Wednesday (3rd) around midday.? ***************************************************** >> Everything changes Howard loves Brummie boobs Highlights from the Take That tour: Birmingham NEC, Wednesday 26th April. Howard Donald "The best thing about coming back to Birmingham after 12 years is that last time we were here all the girls had pancakes, and now you've all got massive boobs". Mark Owen (under breath) "We said in rehearsals were weren't going to do that one". ----------------------------------------------------- America has admitted to having 100,000 spies. ----------------------------------------------------- >> Dangerous Cliff Tony's going on a summer holiday It must be almost all over for Tony Blair. Forget the NHS crisis, prisons debacle and his colleagues' affairs, now even aging pop stars are putting the boot in. Friends of Sir Cliff Richard are claiming that Sir Cliff was far from happy with Tony and Cherie borrowing his house in Barbados. The first time he lent them his home, the singer was apparently disappointed that they didn't offer to anything. When the Blairs asked again, Sir Cliff grudgingly said yes, but insisted on an arrangement where the PM would make an appropriate donation to Cliff's favourite charity. Some months later, the charity's accountants were asked about the payment. They confirmed a donation had been made as requested. But how much did the Blairs decide to pay? Cliff's friends are putting it about that the amount the PM thought was appropriate to rent a luxury villa in Barbados for over two weeks... was about the cost of a meal for two in a London restaurant. ----------------------------------------------------- Florida is being over-run by huge pythons. 93 were caught last year, one exploded after trying to eat an alligator and another ate a cat and a turkey. ----------------------------------------------------- >> K-Hole Britney's hubby struggles with rap career Poor Kevin Federline. His quest to become America's biggest (and most fertile) rap artist has been met with constant derision. Now he's even getting sued. By Thomas Dolby. Federline sampled Mobb Deep's Got It Twisted on America's Most Hated, but the sample originally came from Dolby's She Blinded Me With Science. Dolby is livid that K-Fed unwittingly but illegally used his music. "It's like what Vanilla Ice did with Ice, Ice Baby, " said Dolby, "Although I think Vanilla Ice is a superstar compared to this guy." Of course, Dolby's rant has everything to do with musical integrity and nothing to do with the fact that he wants to make a comeback this summer (supporting Depeche Mode at the Wireless Festival) and yet hasn't troubled the charts since 1983. ----------------------------------------------------- Hugh Grant and Jemima Goldsmith are buying a house together in Chelsea for around 15 million pounds. ----------------------------------------------------- >> Grim up North This week's Norwegian black metal update CN writes: "Following on from last week's Gorgoroth story, I used to live in Bergen, Norway, the dark metal capital of the world, with the brother of the now late drummer of Gorgoroth, who sadly committed suicide. I would come home from University and there would be a collection of medieval weapons by the door, where most people would leave their umbrellas. And in the living room a bunch of guys made up as corpses would be sipping tea and discussing fine art or something entirely unexpected." (FYI: German black metal band Nargaroth wrote a song for Gorgoroth's drummer, Grim, after his suicide, Erik - May You Rape The Angels.) ----------------------------------------------------- The Maury Povich Show was slapped with a $100m suit by an employee. It is "permeated with the use of alcohol, pornographic videos and parties inviting open and notorious sexual activities," apparently. ----------------------------------------------------- >> Celebrity tetris Shuffling around the publicity matrix How to use a celebrity to your advantage: 1. Have a new online gambling company? Look around for a popular, downmarket celebrity to front it. 2. Announce that Kerry Katona is the new face of your brand. 3. Watch her career slide under accusations of drug use and boozing. 4. Decide you want to get rid of her but don't want to look like you're kicking her while she's down. 5. Prepare to leak to the papers that she's been up to some bad behaviour so her contract has to be ripped up. 6. You get publicity, the tabloids get a story, Kerry gets thrown out on her ear, you don't look bad. ... 7. Except it's not a good idea to discuss this so openly on a Palma-London EasyJet flight, within earshot of two reporters... ----------------------------------------------------- "Tom's taking it out now" - Tom Baker has been dropped as the voice if BT talking text messages. ----------------------------------------------------- >> Things that make you go hmmm Big Brother, Acid fish, water otters On Saturday, Charlie Sheen launched his new range of children's clothing. The day before, wife Denise Richards applied for a restraining order in which she accused Sheen of watching internet porn sites featuring young girls. http://tinyurl.com/evwu7 Need a date for the weekend? http://www.dating4disabled.com/users/profile.asp?userid=5814>> Big Brother Australia has a saucy mother and daughter on it this year: http://bigbrother.3mobile.com.au/hm.asp The Gay & Lesbian Kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands: http://www.gayandlesbiankingdom.com The Owl pub in Lippits Hill in High Beech, Essex, has for many years kept a water otter in a large tank in their beer garden. http://www.beerintheevening.com/pubs/s/12/12676/Owl/High_Beech The cutest otters ever? http://www.thephotoforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=47685 Get high and keep up your omega-3 intake: http://www.practicalfishkeeping.co.uk/pfk/pages/item.php?news=911 Bored in the office? Addictive game to play" http://snipurl.com/ppk1 >> Chart Predictions New entries for Sunday 30th April ++ Number One GNARLS BARKLEY Crazy ++ Top Ten RACONTEURS Steady As She Goes DIRTY PRETTY THINGS Bang Bang You're Dead SNOW PATROL You're All I Have CHICANE Stoned In Love RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS Dani California ++ Top Twenty MICHAEL JACKSON Black Or White HIM Killing Loneliness >> End Bit Help Popbitch! * Email stories, gossip: hello@popbitch.com * Popbitch is published by Popdog Ltd. * Web hosting by: http://www.thebunker.net * Mail by aysabtu * Annoyed that Arsenal are in the Champions League Final? Take part instead in the Champions League of Poker, online this week. The final will take place on May 16th in Chelsea, with the final table being taken straight on to Paris for the football Champions League Final the next day. http://www.goalpoker.com ************************************************** Thanks to: AM, N, plastiktom, dollymixture, JO, F aussierules, SY, scally_wag, Tarka, spudbunny, T, simon_cowell, wardy, T, Superchickennoodle, GE, L-R, ME, ***************************************************** Old Jokes Home: A bloke walks into a lift and stands next to a very pretty woman. He asks, "Excuse me, can I smell your fanny?" "No!" she replies, "Don't be disgusting." "Oh well," the man shrugs his shoulders, "It must be your feet then." Still Bored? Big furry rabbits: http://home.pacbell.net/bettychu/2004allbreedbisris/2004bisindex.html

Ah yes, the Transverse Plenum Sensor. Almost certainly the problem.

Another vote for 'Seven Citys of Gold' here. Plus 'Round the World With Willy Fogg'.

Bell Direct (.co.uk) have always been cheapest for me.

Never seen it but I have to say yours is one of my favourite Zeds on the site. Great mods, subtle classy styling. :bow:

Pick your area wisely. The boom time is over but I think there's a steady income to be made. I thought about it but maybe the stock market is the best place for any spare cash right now.

Hurrah indeed. I claim partial credit! Mine is bigger than I thought.

Knowlegable Zed Owner Noth-East? Sorry mate - I think you'll have a long wait trying to find one of them!

Thinks he's big time? I'd show him in me Hilman Imp.

Nice one mate! Thanks. (I should have done a search!)

I was thinking of getting an electrical gizmo (a 'Power Commander' for my bike) from the states. Anyone know how much import duty is or how it's worked out? Do you always get charged or can you get lucky? Cheers!

I mentioned it before but Indian, you were posting just before the accident that your car needed a lot of service work, including brake replacement. If I were you I'd get those (and this) thread deleted.

IIRC it's the drivers responsibility to ensure a vehicle is roadworthy. Fingers crossed for you!

Nice looking car. Welcome aboard.

Happy birthday mate - enjoy the day.

Jesus, that sucks. Really sorry to hear that mate. Only a real w4anker would do that.

Cat one is a thatcham approval. Two circuits immobilised, passive arming, non coloured wires etc etc.

I have to admit I kind of liked it. Plus people knew if someone had a high post count they *probably* knew what they were talking about to some extent. Was it unfairly blamed for a spate of 'nonsense posts'? Or did it cause whoring and cliques or something like that and we're better off without it?

I thought it looked ok :nelson: This cracked me up though: AND I FEW DENTS ON THE BONNET AND SIDE DOOR WHICH ARE NOT A MOT FAILURE JUST COSMETIC BUT WELL PARTNER GOT IN A MOOD YOU KNOW HOW IT GOES I HAVE HAD A QUOTE AND TO BE HONEST THEY CAN BE FILLED IN REAL EASY ...

It looks like a nice car but just do your best to make sure before you get too far (I guess you know that!) or it'll do yer head in! I think a deposit has to be fully returnable bylaw if you can find fault with the car. Even if you find a major fault AFTER buying you can 'reject the goods' and get your money back. It's not always easy though. Best be sure sooner rather than later though. Good luck with it. It might be a winner and we're just all over careful / paranoid!

Most lottery wins won't see you on easy street forever if you spend a ton on cars. I'd probably have just one smart motor I could use every day. Maybe a M5 with some styling tweaks. Or a Fortune kitted 2002 Supra lightly tune to 350-400bhp.

:shock: It's also the name I used when I competed in the Canadian pro-arm wrestling tournaments in the late 80s. ;)

To be honest I have't had one yet either. ;) :rofl:

PMSL! Or Sean Connery doing an impression of the Grolsh ad. Zuulushh... shhosands of themm.. wait till you sheee the whitsh of their eyeshh... No hang on... that's wrong...