bigmincey

;) Well done matey !! Alan.........

Delivery address is to me !!! For a poxy computer game !! Alan...........

Fook me, What a day this has turned out to be. As I was typing up my last thread about my holidays, I received 2 emails from Paypal. 1st email said they had refused a request to register a credit card on my account as the billing address was different from my registered address, and the 2nd email was to inform me that a payment was sent for goods from my account, for exactly the amount in my Paypal account !! :shock: Some tosser has just emptied my Paypal account !! OK, there was only £70 in it, but WTF ? Franticly moved all my cash from the debit card account of my bank, to another account thats not registered with Paypal !! :mad: Started a fraudelent claim issue with Paypal, anything else I should do ?? *****x, dont need this tonight ! Alan................

Been up since 6.00am, wife has gutted and cleaned the house from top to bottom, cars are all parked up and I am sitting back relaxing with a beer and a nice glass of Malt !! The occasion ? Staying up all night till the minibus picks us up at 5.30 am Thursday morning. Then its off to the Airport to fly out to Sharm El Sheikh, Egypt on our holidays !! Just a wee bit excited ! :hyper: Be back in a fortnight, so take care folks ! Alan.............

OOooohhh !! :p Not away just yet, dont leave till 5ish tomorrow morning, so a big glass of Malt and a relaxing night ahead I think !! Hope you dont miss me too much ! :rofl: Alan.......

Not before mine tho ! :D Alan..........

Anybody ?? Alan..............

Anybody recommend a good site that can un-lock a Samsung SGH-E350 ? Cheers, Alan.........

http://www.300zx.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=45027&referrerid=3590 Alan........

Thats nowt !! Try the Corvette Forum ?? They welcome you until you post your 1st question !! Alan.......

Alan........

The terrorist that got badly burned at Glasgow made the papers again up here today, moaning about the food at the hospital !! He said he was fed up getting haggis, turnips and tatties every day ! He was reminded that he was in the Burns Unit ! I`ll get me coat now, eh ? Alan......

He met his partner on Friends Re-ignited ! :D Alan.....

Alan....... :D

Apoligies if this is a re-post ! Subject: FW: Haynes Manual Translations > > Dear All > > For all the technically minded among you........ENJOY!!!! > > Haynes Manual Translations > > Haynes: Rotate anticlockwise. > Translation: Clamp with visegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer > anticlockwise. > > Haynes: This is a snug fit. > Translation: Clamp with visegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer. > > Haynes: This is a tight fit. > Translation: Clamp with visegrips then beat repeatedly with a hammer. > > Haynes: As described in Chapter 7... > Translation: That'll teach you not to read through before you start. Now > you are looking at scary photos of the inside of a gearbox. > > Haynes: Pry... > Translation: Hammer a screwdriver into... > > Haynes: Undo... > Translation: Go buy a tin of WD40 (giant economy size). > > Haynes: Retain tiny spring... > Translation: PINGGGG - "Where the hell did that go?" > > Haynes: Press and rotate to remove bulb... > Translation: OK - that's the glass bit off, now fetch some good pliers > to dig out the bayonet part (and maybe a plaster or two). > > Haynes: Lightly... > Translation: Start off lightly and build up till the veins on your > forehead are throbbing then clamp with visegrips then beat repeatedly > with hammer. > > Haynes: Weekly checks... > Translation: If it isn't broken don't fix it. > > Haynes: Routine maintenance... > Translation: If it isn't broken, it's about to be. We warned you... > > Haynes: One spanner rating. > Translation: An infant could do this... so how did you manage to (bleep) > it up? > > Haynes: Two spanner rating. > Translation: Now you may think that you can do this because two is a > low, teensy weensy number... but you also thought the wiring diagram was > a map of the Tokyo underground (in fact that would have been more use to > you). > > Haynes: Three spanner rating. > Translation: Make sure you won't need your car for a couple of days. > > Haynes: Four spanner rating. > Translation: You're not seriously considering this are you? > > Haynes: Five spanner rating. > Translation: OK - but don't ever carry your loved ones in it again. > > Haynes: Bolt will be tight > Translation: You havent a hope in hell! > > Haynes: If not, you can fabricate your own special tool like this... > Translation: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. > > Haynes: Compress... > Translation: Squeeze with all your might, jump up and down on it, throw > it at the garage wall, then find some visegrips and a hammer... > > Haynes: Inspect... > Translation: Squint at really hard and pretend you know what you are > looking at, then declare in a loud knowing voice to your wife "Yep, as I > thought, it's going to need a new one" > > Haynes: Carefully... > Translation: You are about to suffer deep abrasions. > > Haynes: Retaining nut... > Translation: Yes, that's it, that big spherical blob of rust. > > Haynes: Get an assistant... > Translation: Prepare to humiliate yourself in front of someone you know. > > Haynes: Turning the engine will be easier with the spark plugs removed. > Translation: However, starting the engine afterwards will be much > harder. Once that sinking pit of your stomach feeling has subsided, you > can start to feel deeply ashamed as you gingerly refit the spark plugs. > > Haynes: Refitting is the reverse sequence to removal. > Translation: Yeah, right. But you swear in different places. > > > Haynes: Prise away plastic locating pegs... > Translation: Snap off... > > Haynes: Using a suitable drift... > Translation: Clamp with visegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer. > > Haynes: Apply moderate heat... > Translation: Unless you have a blast furnace, don't bother. > Alternatively, clamp with visegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer. > > Haynes: Index > Translation: List of all the things in the book, except what you need to > do. > > Haynes: Everyday toolkit > Translation: AA Card & Cell Phone. Alan................... :D

Would be nice to all meet up somewhere 1st, and convoy in together. Services sound a good point. Also as a suggestion, if anybody is coming from a wee distance away, and unsure of the area, let me know and we can sort summit out ! :D Shrek, Would say that you are about the furthest travelled so far, or tttam might be a close second. Wait until nearer the time, see who is deffo going to be there, and we can take it from there. I will be away on holiday from 11th till 28th July, so any plans that are made in that time, is fine by me ! :D Alan..........

What was ?? :confused: Alan..........

That aint too bad bud !! We had the smoking ban over a year ago !! Alan...............

Who would win ?? :confused: Seeing as this is my 2,000th post, and not all of them have been intelligent ! Thought I might have a funny one !! In spite of the terrorist actions on Glasgow Airport over the weekend, We will not be beaten !! Imagine this had happened in America ?? :confused: There take on it would have been different to us "Jocks" :D :D Enjoy !! Alan.................. America v Glasgow's take on the airport bombing incident If this had happened in a US airport,compared to Glasgow Eyewitness accounts. America:"Oh my God! there was a man on fire,he was running about, i just ran for my life..i thought i was gonna die,he got so close to me" Glasgow "C*nt wis running aboot on fire,so a ran up n gave him a good boot,then decked him" America:"I just wanna get home,away from here..i just wanna get home, i thought i was gonna die" Glasgow:"here shug,am no leaving here till am oan a f*ckin' plane!" America:"there was pandemonium,people were running in all directions,we didn't know what was hapening,i thought i was gonna die" Glasgow:"F*ck this fir a kerry oan,moan we ll get a pint in" America:"We thought he was gonna blow us all up he had a gas canister,and was trying to get into his trunk,i thought we were gonna die,i just ran for my life" Glasgow:"a swaggered by the motor that wis on fire,and the dafty couldnae even open his boot,he wis in fire annaw so a ran up n gave him a good boot to the baws" America:there was this huge explosion,it sounded like war,i thought i was gonna die" Glasgow:"There wis a bang,yi know when yi throw Bangers intae a fire it wis like that" America:"i'm too traumatised even to speak,i thought i was gonna die" Glasgow "here mate,gies 2 minutes till a phone ma auld dear,if am gonna be oan the telly a want her tae tape it" & finally, two quotes from an eye-witness.........john smeaton (these are real) John just surpassed himself on the National ITV new. The interviewer asked "What message do you have for the bombers" - he replied "This is Glasgow we'll just set about you" John did an interview with CNN and they asked how he restrained the guy and he said "me and other folk were just tryin 2 get the boot in and some other guy banjoed him" ! :bow: :bow: :D :D :D

Made up for ya Phil !! :D Pity it wasnt up this way !! :( :duffer: Alan.....

I have a spare one !! :D Alan............

Sounds good ! :) Alan..........

:bow: :bow: :bow: And threw the other one back in the jeep !! Alan...........

http://www.300zx.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=96713&referrerid=3590 Alan........... :(