bigmincey

Brilliant sense of humour mate, in fact here is his suggestion !! If they gotta wear a veil, it should be eyecatching and different. Like this perhaps !! .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . [/img] Alan........... ;)

Being Scottish is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or ,aTurkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most Scottish thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign! Only in Scotland can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. Only in Scotland do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in Sotland do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke. Only in Scotland do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters. Only in Scotland do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage. Only in Scotland do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. Only in Scotland are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink. NOT TO MENTION.. 3 Scots die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue. 142 Scots were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts. 58 Scots are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers. 31 Scots have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in. 19 Scots have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate. Scottish Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas cracker-pulling accidents. 18 Scots had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth. A massive 543 Scots were admitted to A&E in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth. 5 Scots were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars. and finally... In 2000 eight Scots were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet. SCOTLAND - Love it, or Leave it! _________________________________________________________________ Alan......... :p

Daz, With my hand on my heart, and all honesty, this one was sent by my friend, Tarique, who comes from Pakistan !!! :shock: Alan............

They are pointing out that one of the gripes with muslim women wearing a veil is that you cant see their face, obviously. This might be a temp solution !! :rolleyes: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . [/img] Alan.............

Blatantly stolen from an other site ! An English engineering crew is warming up a French Renault F1 engine (V10) using computerised engine control from a laptop. The guy at the upper left of the video is running the laptop. Keep listening to the engine until just over half way through to hear how the British warm up French Engines. Listen to the end, be proud, play it loud!! http://www.oc4play.com/RenaultF1Enginewarmup.wmv ;) Alan........

Apparently she said she was nipping out for an Indian ! :x: Alan.........

Guy Ritchie has said " Thats the last time I give Maddona my credit card and tell her to treat herself to a little black number" :) Alan..............

:cool: :bow: Alan.......

Nice looking project that !! ;) Name on the rocker covers, gave it away. I worked for a short time at Lola Cars, in the Composite shop, Cambridge, while in between contracts at FLS Aerospace, Diamond Hangar, Stansted. That name was synonomous with race cars. Alan........

GT 40 ?? Alan.........

Next time you get a Tele marketer on the phone, trying to sell you this, or that, try this !! Makes a change from telling them to fook off !! http://joshualowry.vox.com/library/audio/6a00c225203796f21900c2252ab8c18e1d.html Alan.............

Anybody help here, coz I`m crap at these sorta things !! A RIDDLE THAT'LL KILL YOUR BRAIN! This is going to make you so MAD! There are three words in the English language that end in "gry". ONE is angry and the other is hungry. EveryONE knows what the third ONE means and what it stands for. EveryONE uses them everyday, and if you listened very carefully, I've given you the third word. What is it? _______gry? Anyone ?? Alan........

Unforgiven, Metallica. Alan....

Iron Maiden, Fear Of The Dark. Alan.......

Sorry about the confusion yesterday, too much beer consumed methinks !! ;) Alan....

Might be having a wee Malt tonight to celebrate !! Alan......

LOL !! Cheers Si ! Great job on the removal of the textured finished. Nice pics as well. Must admit, I am a fan of the smooth finish. Alan.....

What a result for Scotland !!! :cool: Been drinking Kronenbourg 1664 all day !! Well gone tonight !! Alan..........

Alan.........

LOL, And its red !! Alan..........

We only got them coz we are willing to pay away over the odds. We had too, as it was part of the franchise agreement. Alan........

Wee example here. Vectra 2.2 SXI. On a 52 plate Just turned 39,987 miles and running great. ABS light comes on, so what you do ? Check the brake fluid, Its ok. Wait till the weekend, spend all Sunday fooking around, up on axle stands with the wheels off, playing around with exciter rings, contacts, pads etc, etc. Thats not what you do !!! You wait till your daughters boyfriend appears, in his Corsa, coz he works as a Partsman in your local Vauxhall Franchise. He then asks you what you are doing, you tell him, and then he tells you: The 52 plate Vectra had a computer fault that only occured at around 40,000 miles regarding the ABS, bring it in and I will fix it !! That sums up what Peter has been saying. He fixed my car with one hand in his pocket !! But ask him to set the timing on my 85 Corvette, which is basic stuff, he hasnt a clue !! Alan..........

Oh Dear ! :cry: Alan....

Whole mechanics dept got a boot up the Arse !! New mechs, new boss etc, etc. Started about 5 new Mechs, all poached from DAF, so will wait and see. Aint got my Zed now, as you probably know, slumming it in a 85 Vette at the moment !! But things change, quickly, if you know what I mean ! ;) Alan.........

In my line of work, commercial vehicles, they would be called a fitter, not a mechanic. Nowt against fitters, but when I had my Zed in with a head gasket, they all just looked and said : Do you know where all they bits go ?? Coppa Slip !! Excellent stuff, cant recommend it enuff. Get the feeling today, with some of the younger lads, that if the computer cant put it right, then it must be down to the guys who actually gets their hands dirty !! Softies !! Alan....