As some of you know that i work offshore and work a three week rotation. Today in my ninth day out of twenty one i was contacted through messenger telling me that my mum , our mum has suddenly died this morning.i now not only am feelibg devisdated about this but cant tell anyone at work cas if they found out they would get a chopper out and send me straht home.trouble is i only get two days breavment pay so i would stand t loose half my wages for six weeks and cant afford to.cas bills need paying and im nearly skint after my ladt purchase.so u see i have to stay here and hope i can do.what i do.some people who have aready asked me if im ok .and ive just said got a really bad head.whats also hurting is my miss indoors is in tears but understands and supports me and my decesion.but that ant help me feeling double like shit cas shes says she cant confort or help me. Life is so hard somtimes and u wish.oh i dont know.just feeling a bit num and a grown man keep weeling up. Ant a good look .sorry to make you feel sad but i just needed to share and tell somone cas its eating me up and you guys are my vitaul freinds on here.so sorry.but thanks for your time.and thanks. RIp my mum. Love , number two son Alan.

Really sorry to hear your sad news. Deepest sympathy, I lost my Dad 4 years ago and its crap time, but slowly it will get easier.

Can you not take some holiday to add to the 2 days bereavement leave and give yourself a few days off to be with your family and close friends?

Or is it not possible to explain to your manager, there maybe some arrangement that could be made? Often most people are very understanding and helpful in these situations.

That is really sad news. It's hard with your money situation too and being away from your family is horrible. We are all here for you but you should try to get home if you can.

Very sorry to read of your sad news matey. Are you 100% sure that you're only entitled to 2 days compassionate leave?

So sorry to hear this mate, my best wishes and thoughts are with you.

thats sad news mate...ime sorry for your loss:(

Really sorry to hear of your very sad news!

 

Can you not take the couple of days bereavement and then get back to the rig, surely they would provide some assistance given the circumstances?

 

I have to say though, that if you don't find away to get around this problem and show the support to your family at this difficult time, it will likely be more difficult to get past this time and help you in dealing with your own loss.

 

It's difficult I know, I lost my Dad when I was 21 and not going down to the base to see him has stayed with me ever since and I didn't have the issue of missing the funeral.... do all you can to get home, this is only going to happen once!! whereas money may always be a perennial

problem form time to time.

 

Keep strong and think of the good times, but get home if you can...Good Luck!

Big internet man hugs bud :(

Sad times Alan and its not easy when you haven't your family and friends around you. Just do what you think is best and my condolence to you and your family Alan.

Alan I am so sorry to hear that, I hope there is some way you can speak to someone onboard who can discuss your options without immediately sending you home. Sharing your feelings will do a world of good.

 

That said be careful mate, working on a rig with your head doing 100mph hour, please don't get yourself hurt too. If you need a helicopter it will be me tonight, I can pass on that hug from Vods.

 

Thinking of you and your family mate :clover:

I'm so sorry to hear your news. Your post really moved me. I hope you can stay strong and get through the rest of your trip. Good luck. R.I.P. your mum.

Chin up fella, go speak to your line manager explain as you have done what the situation is, maybe you can get some leave and work it back or some sort of options. Life happens and some things are unavoidable, most employers know this and will work round this.

Speak to your line manager, get yourself on next chopper, offshore is not the place to be at times like these!

I'm sure your entitled to some sick pay/or make the time back up on your next trip?

Sorry to hear mate! Thoughts are with you.

Time is a good healer some say!

This is terrible news mate. My thoughts are with you and your family. Couldn't you take holidays? Or possibly take some time and put it back in when you're meant to be home?

So so sad. Virtual hug bro x

So sorry to hear your bad news mate, my condolences to you and your family.........

Sorry to hear this, must be the worst feeling in the world to lose your mum. I'd definitely speak to someone, don't bottle it up. Hope it works out ok for you.

So sorry to hear of your bad news fella.

If you can only get 2 days bereavement then you could always take them and then take a month on sick with depression which you will get paid for.

I know its not an ideal situation but surely being at home would be more beneficial for both yourself and your family at this time.

Thanks for your kind words. I really appriciate all and every comment.like i said i work three weeks on and three weeks off. So the time you have off is worked out as rest and annule leave.if i went home they could and readaly easly get civer thats not an issue. If they found out they would have a chopper here in hour.but i wuuld stand to loose a couple grand . Sounds harsh but my father died in my arms when i was twenty two so his not there.my mums husband of the last tens years is sorting out all the nessersarys and luckaly for my children my mum lived a cople hundred miles away in london so they havnt got a strong relation ship .with my mother as they do with there nan my partners mum. Jesus if it was my partners mum id have to go home cas the children spend a third of there lives round hers. My mrs is clearly upset but but understands my fellings and i have said if you feel you need me then ill come.that said.if i come come home now there is nothibg i can do. Or say that would change anything.if i went home i would be putting a finacial strain on our household .ontop of all this.sorry state of affairs.i only get two days conpatenate leave .of whitch i might well need to use if the funeral cuts into ny next trip.so i thi k im going to try and do. I know my mum wouldnt want us to get behind on stuff.just because of het. So im going to get a good nights sleep.and carry on as norm and give my now famliy a big hug when i get home . Thanks gyys and girls .this place is the only thing i do in the evining out here anyway.so i ant going anywere. So yourll just have to put up with my bad spelling and teribble apunch u ation as norm.

thanks for all your comment and support its felt in the heart and bless you all.

Sorry to hear your sad news Al, not much more i could add that the others havent said, you have to do what you think is best and although you cant put a price on certain things in life, you cant put a strain on yours, as realistically, apart from some hugs and compassion there is nothing you could do that will change anything. Stay strong and keep your mind focused on what is important, here and now, which is providing for your family, im sure you can grieve and get the support when you come home.

 

Unfortunate timing for you though being away and torn between your two options.

 

All the best in what you decide, you have our support and if you need a sounding board and a chat, dont hesitate.

My Condolences to you and your family. It cannot be an easy decision to have made, I had a similar thing sometime ago when I was unable to get to my Dads funeral, so I know what your feeling right now. Nothing wrong with a grown man fighting back the tears..... Nothing at all mate.

Alan

It might be fair to say were are all virtual friends with a common interest but at the end of the day were are all real people with real feelings and I really do feel for you,

and I'm sure I speak for every person that's a member on here. It also speaks volumes that you would share sure a dilemma on here,

 

I hope in my heart of hearts that your alright and I understand your comments about your father I was 16 when the same thing happened to me.

 

Best wishes

 

Richard

Sorry to here this sad news Alan, I'm sure what your doing is the best for your family in the long run,

 

Paul

Sorry for your loss mate. Very sad news..

You know your own position and how best it will or won't affect you, stay strong with the memories and the initial phase will past and things will be a little clearer...but then you will know this given your past experience1

 

Good luck your clearly in many of our thoughts!