indian_zx

you was stuck in traffic

:tongue:

if a colleague looks very sexy today what can i say that would make her laugh. :cool: . like email her.

IF YOU ASKED someone what they were doing in the weekend and they say now that would be telling what a good response to that. its a girl lol

lol

theres a 98 zx in auto trader

its a nokia

where can i get free ringtones for my phone i have a bluetooth wire

lol

Anyone seen superman yet?

I Fooooooking Hate It Infact Im Pissed Off Now Lol. I Just Say Its A 300zx.

thanks steve got it mate very impressed/

males and females 20-50

for the members pack 1st cant believe you get all those things. 2nd how professional the booklet is 3 how much effort was put in to it all 4 how useful everything was 5 packaged so proffesionally cheers guys i aint got another zx but ill defiantly subscribe again

i have been asked to organise a evening out with my colleagues any suggestions serious only please.

lol you are a funny bloke bantum. i need a job lol

thats enough lol

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM He left it where he new she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

9 Things I Hate About Everyone 1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the **** is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually. 3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it? 4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the **** would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their ass! 5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the ****ing floor. 6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine? 7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it. 8. When people say "life is short". What the ****?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever ****ing does!! What can you do that's longer? 9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone a! sks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumass

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 40 miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice. "I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce." The wife says nothing, Keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 45 mph. The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it," He says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend, And she's a far better lover than you are." Again the wife stays quiet, But grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55 He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently.. Up to 60. "I want the car, too," he continues. 65 mph. "And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat!" The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This makes him nervous, so he asks her, "Isn't there anything you want?" The wife at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice. "No, I've got everything I need," she says. "Oh, really," he inquires, "so what have you got?" Just before they slam into the wall at 65 mph, The wife turns to him and smiles. "The airbag." Moral of the Story : Women are clever!!! Don't mess with them!!

A German family head out one Saturday to do some shopping. While in the sports shop the son picks up an England football shirt and says to his sister, "I've decided to be an England supporter and I would like this for my birthday." His big sister is outraged by this and promptly whacks him round the head and says, "Go talk to your mother." So off goes the little lad. "Mum?" "Yes son?" "I've decided I'm going to be an England supporter and I would like this shirt for my birthday". The mother is outraged at this, promptly whacks him around the head twice and says, "Go talk to your father." Off he goes with the football shirt in hand and finds his father. "Dad?" "Yes son?" "I've decided I'm going to be an England supporter and I would like this shirt for my birthday." The father is outraged and promptly whacks his son around the head 4 times and says: "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT!" About half an hour later they're all back in the car and heading towards home. The father turns to his son and says; "Son, I hope you've learned something today?" The son says, "Yes dad I have." "Good son, what is it?" The son replies, "I've only been an England supporter for an hour and already I hate you German B*****ds"

I was a very happy person. My wonderful girl-friend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me... it was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was braless. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a pleasant view. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me." I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all-clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test... we couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to our family!!!" And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in the car...

A woman goes into a pet shop looking for a parrot. The assistant shows her a beautiful African Grey parrot. "What about this one, Madam? A beautiful bird, and it's an absolute steal at only £20." "Why is it that cheap?" the woman asks. "Well", replies the assistant, "it used to live in a brothel and as a result its language is a touch fruity". "Oh, I don't mind that", said the woman, making her mind up, "I'm broad minded and it'll be a laugh having a profane parrot". In Saying this, she buys the parrot and takes him home. Once safely in his new home, the parrot looks around and squawks at the woman. "F**k me, a new br0thel and a new madam" "I'm not a madam and this isn't a br0thel" scolds the woman trying not to laugh. A little later the woman's two teenage daughters arrive home. "Un-f**king-believable. A new br0thel, a new madam, and now two new pr0stitutes" says the parrot when he sees the daughters. "Mum, tell your parrot to shut-up, we're not pr0stitutes" complain the girls, but they all see the funny side and have a laugh at their new pet. They were still all laughing when the woman's husband Dave comes home. "In-f**king-credible, a new br0thel, a new madam, new pr0stitutes, but the same old clients..... How ya doin', Dave?" --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

> > >Driving Styles ... > >One hand on steering wheel, one hand out of window. >- Sydney > > > >One hand on steering wheel, one hand on horn >- Japan > > > >One hand on steering wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on >accelerator... >- Boston > > > >Both hands on steering wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in >terror >- New York > > > >Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk >to someone in back seat >- Italy > > > >One hand on horn, >one hand on holding gear, >one ear listening to loud music, >one ear on cell phone, >one foot on accelerator, >one foot on clutch, >nothing on break, >eyes on females in next car, > > >- Welcome to INDIA!!!!!!!! >

Wives Night Out Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out; both were very faithful and loving wives, however, they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk & walking home they needed to take a pee so they stopped in the cemetery. One of them had nothing to wipe with so She thought she would take off her panties and use them. Her friend However was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to Ruin them, but was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had A wreath with ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that. After the girls did their business they proceeded to go home. The next day one of the women's husbands was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said, "These damn girly nights have Got to stop. I'm starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with No panties! I'm going to kill the son of a b#tch!" "That's nothing" said the other husband, "Mine came back with a Card stuck between her a#se that said "From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you."