Daves_Zed

I hope no-one has already posted this link, but I only got it last nite, and thought u lot might like it :D Edit . . . Sorry guys, dont wana offend anyone. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :cool: Dave

Got back from my mechanics b4 tea time. Went to see him regarding the rear jumping, he's diagnosed it as a weak rear near side shock. So gona give Luke a call at the Z Centre. My mechanic said it should only cost me about £55 to fit a pair of shocks.................. So £125 for the whole job :dance: well impressed. Could have been a lot worse, still can be :rofl: :rofl: Dave

Thanks Andy. It's just that I'm having probs on cold starting, and though i'd start with something simple, ie; the plugs. Dave

This may be a stupid question, but........................... What is the plug gap for a jap spec TT auto? As I'm waiting for the cdrom to come from Z centre, but wont be here till next week, and i wana check em this wkend. Dave

Mark, I may very well have seen ur car m8, as i work at the Asfordby test centre, testing trains, just outside Melton :D And i dont see many ZX's around there, or here for that matter :D lol Yeah, will have to meet sometime. Dave

Just read all this, very sorry to hear it m8. Bloody insensitive farmer, had the same myself, had a member of the local fox hunt , on his horse, have a go at me about the hedge. Saying about bloody town folk racing around in the country!!!:eek: As it was i'm very famililar with the country, i work in it, and was driving a 4x4, so i told him to F*** OFF!!!:D Stupid Tos**r, if he was that bothered about the countryside, why go round killing innocent foxes then, tw@ :mad: Dave

Well as it happends, I was looking for a silver one in the first place, but couldnt find one that i wanted. Then this one popped up and i thought 'mmmm quite like it in this dark red', so sod it, i brought it :D :dance: :rofl: Dave

Right, as i'm subscribed now :dance: , i thought i'd give it a try and put a pic of my new ZX on here. It's only the pic from autotrader, and a little small, but i'll post some of mine as soon as i get mi digi-cam fixed :D Dave It's below, with my sig now :D

This has been on here a while now. They were storing their stock of ZX's to be broken for spares in that big shed. I beleive I read somewhere that it started by accident, following some welding/cutting work. Either way, a major disaster. :cry: Dave

:dance: :dance: :dance: Ive got it at last.......................... 'SUBCRIBED MEMBER' Yaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No more freeloading :rofl: :rofl: DAVE:D

James300's question has just reminded me of a little problem i seem to be experiencing with my dash clock. It seems to be loosing time BIG time. Is this a common prob, or could it be that there is a possibility that something has hit it, but i doubt this. Are the standard clocks crap, or have i just got an old sh**y one ?? :D Dave

Jay, That is a very nice spoiler indeed, I just might have to have a word with Luke :D It's about the same height as mine, but muuuuuuuuuuch better :cool: Dave

The more the merrier :D Yep, the detour was a right sh**er last year. This'll be my 3rd year, but 1st with a Z:dance: Hope to see you all there. 1 question though, do u have to book a place with the other Z's, or can I just turn up and park with the rest of you ? :rolleyes: :cool: Dave

Does anyone have anymore info on this show, for this year??? I've managed to find out that it's on on 26th and 27th June 2004, and at it's usuall venue of Thoresby Hall, nr Ollerton Notts. I'll be going with my ZX :D first show in it :dance: :dance: , how many more will be attending?? Cant wait to get the polish out, and do all the bits especially for my first show :D DAVE

Very glad that the scumbag has been caught, especially for the poor bloke who had his motor nicked in the first place, couldnt have been a nice feeling for him. And the fact that it's my neck of the woods :D These sort of little, or is that big in this case :D , s***es need more than locking up, suggestions welcome :rofl: We could start a thread for the best way to deal with scum like this :D My suggestion, take em for a ride with the car they steal, but tie em to the back bumper and drag em at top speed :D , that'll sort em out, they wont wana do it anymore!! Dave

:D Thanks guys, appreciate all the help, will start checking it all out as soon as I've got the time and some decent weather to go poking around under it ;) Now the next job is to get that fraze below my name over there Then gota get mi digi cam fixed so I can put some pics on. :dance: :dance: DAVE

Cheers Geoff m8, and he aint too far away from me :D Not even had it a week, and its starting to cost me already :rofl: DAVE

I picked it up on Monday lunch time, from Chorley Nissan :dance: Had a loverly drive back along the M61, M60, M62 and A1(M) + A1, drove very niceley indeed. Have been finding fault with it since though, nothing too bad, I hope, but niggly little things, as follows, Passenger central door locking doesnt work. FOS fog lamp not working. Air Con display panel not illuminating. And Ive found an oil leak from the FOS bumper, just in front of the wheel arch! :confused: I think it may be the power steering. All things that shouldnt take much to sort out, i hope. Now for a, probably dumb, question, when going round a corner, in town, and i run over a slight bump, the back end seems to jump out a bit, now is this a fault, or is it somthing to expect due to the stiffness of the suspension? DAVE :D :D .....now a very proud Z owner

Thanx guys. I'll be taking it very carefully for a while, as the most power i've had b4 has been a few 2.8 injected Capri's and an XR4i, which aint upto this sort of power. Max, that dont look too good, I take it ur ok m8? Just cant wait till the 29th though, xmas cant go by fast enough :D DAVE:dance:

Excelent news, well for me anyway :D I've finally done it, I've gone out and brought a Z. A 1992, Twin turbo, with all the kit, except leather, ar well u cant win em all. Complete with original targa panel bags, tool kit, and genuine shag pile floor mats with the metal logo plate. It's in Pearlescent Nissan Red and in excelent condition. Only problem, is I've got to wait till 29th to pick it up :( Took it for a test drive down the M61, very nice indeed. I'll post some pics once my digi cam is mended. Oh and on another brill point, I've finally got a date to move into my new house, 24th Dec............................ yes XMAS EVE :dance: Will let u all no how it is wen i get it home. Have a bloody good xmas DAVE

1. Stand close to the speaker and yell your order, using colorful expletives in ways which would embarrass the patrons inside. 2. Drive through backwards. 3. Belch your order. 4. After ordering, cover the speaker and mic with transparent tape. Watch as customers and order-takers are unable to hear each other and, thus, each raises his/her volume. 5. Barter. Offer a Whopper for a Big Mac. 6. Walk through. 7. Speak a foreign language (make one up if you have to). When the manager comes to the mic, speak English and inquire as to why the order taker had such difficulty understanding you 8. Repeat everything the order taker says. 9. Attempt to take the order-takers order ("Hi, may I take your order?") before they get a chance to take yours. 10. Order confusing items, i.e., "Hi, I'll have a large orange Coke and a small medium fries, please". 11. In a crowded drive-thru line, place a HUGE order, then slip out of line and watch the fun as the person behind you is handed 40 bags of food. 12. When you arrive at the window to pick up your food, hand them several bags of garbage & ask if they'll dispose of it for you. Make sure it smells. 13. Drive through with a carload of naked people. 14. Speak in such a garbled fashion that the order-taker will think there is a problem with the speaker and ask you to order at the window. When you arrive at the window, speak in the same garbled, incomprehensible fashion. 15. Drive through with someone on the hood to accept the food. 16. Bring along a Mr. Microphone. When the order-taker speaks, aim the mic at their speaker but do so while aiming the Mr. Microphone speaker at the mic to produce excruciating feedback of their own voice. 17. One word: Flatulence! (BILL?????) 18. Have a friend hide in the trunk. When you approach the window to pickup your order, have him start yelling and banging his fists on the trunk. 19. If you are a male, have a female friend place the order by speaking VERY seductively and suggestively into the speaker. When she finishes, have her hide and pull up to accept your order. See how many of the order-takers fellow employees have been called over to the window to "check out the babe". 20. Change a flat tire in the drive-thru lane. 21. Ask prices of everything on the menu then order something that you did not ask the price for. 22. Pretend like your window is broken. Tell the employee this. Order with your door open, pay with your door open. Roll down window and take food through the window. 23. Go to McDonalds and demand a big breakfast at 11:30 at night. Put up a fight. 24. Pay for a large order in pennies and nickels unwrapped. 25. When asked if they can take your order, tell them you are just window shopping and drive on. 26. Laugh sadistically when asked if you would like ketchup. 27. Ask how they fit into that little box. 28. If they make you wait, make them wait when they come back on. 29. Demand to speak to the manager. When he comes on, complain that you did not like the way the employee said "May I take your order?" 30. When asked if they can take your order say "No, why can't I take yours?" 31. If they ask you to wait, order anyway and keep doing it till they yell at you. 32. Pretend like your car broke down. Ask for assistance in moving it. When they come out, drive away. 33. Tell them you have to use the bathroom. 34. Order a cup of water and two napkins. That's it. 35. Don't order when they come on. Just sit there. If a line forms behind you, get out of the car and cause a scene. 37. Just stare at them when you pay and get your food. Don't break your stare. 38. Honk your horn the whole way through the line. 39. When they say may I help you, respond with, no I am beyond help. 40. Ask if you can talk to Ronald 41. Ask how much the sign outside cost 42. Ask if they have Small Mac's because you're not very hungry 43. Say "Testing, testing 1 2 3 ..." 44. Scream "Call 911!" and speed away 45. Tell them you're bored, and ask if anyone there would like to go out and play frisbee with you 46. Ask which hero the McHero is made from, Batman or Superman 47. "Hi! I want a (what?) I want a (huh?) I WANT A (chi-ca-chi-ca) NUMBER SIX PLEASE!" 48. Scream as loud as you can into the speaker, "Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna DIE!" 49. Ask for a # PSSSSHSHHH (make random static noises) then get mad when they don't understand you 50. Act like there is a swarm of bees attacking you while you order on the drive-thru (Hi, I'd like an... OW!! OW!! AAAH! OH MY GOD, THE BEES!! GET THEM OFF ME! NOOO! .. *clear throat*... a cheeseburger... GET EM OFF ME!! AAAAH! AAAAH! THEY'RE KILLING ME!!!) then act perfectly normal at the window. 51. Act like they messed up your order and tell them to "take that cheeseburger, shine it up reeeeeeeal nice, turn it sideways ..." :dance: :rofl: Well i thought they were funny :D

The Italian says, "When I've a finished a makina da love with ah my wife,I go down and gently tickle the back of her knees, she floats 6 inches above a da bed in ecstacy." The Frenchman replies, "Zat is noting, when Ah've finished making ze love with ze wife, Ah kiss all ze way down her body and zen Ah lick za soles of her feet wiz mah tongue and she floats 12 inches above ze bed in pure ecstasy." The redneck says, "That ain't nothing buddy. When I've finished porkin the ole lady, I git out of bed, walk over to the winder and wipe my weener on the curtains. She hits the freakin ceiling :rofl: :rofl:

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. Man: "Hello?" Woman: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" Man: "Yes." Woman: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it okay if I buy it, sweetie?" Man: "Sure... go ahead if you like it that much. I want you to be happy." Woman: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2003 models. I saw one that I really liked. It's a beautiful silver." Man: "How much?" Woman: "$60,000" Man: "Okay, but for that price I want it with all the options." Woman: "Great! Oh, and just one more thing... the house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000." Man: "Wow, then go ahead and make them an offer, but just offer $895,000." Woman: "Okay. Thank you darling -- you're wonderful! I'll see you later! I love you!" Man: "Bye, I love you too." The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. Then he asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?" :rofl: :rofl:

The Redneck Oil Change Checklist 1. Go to O'Reilly auto parts and write a check for $50 dollars for oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and scented tree. 2. Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking it back to O'Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard. 3. Open a beer and drink it. 4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands. 5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car. 6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it. 7. Place drain pan under engine. 8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench. 9. Give up and use crescent wrench. 10. Unscrew drain plug. 11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in process. 12. Clean up. 13. Have another beer while oil is draining. 14. Look for oil filter wrench. 15. Give up; poke oil filter with screwdriver and twist it off. 16. Beer. 17. Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Finish oil change tomorrow. 18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car. 19. Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18. 20. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday. 21. Walk to 7-11; buy beer. 22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of clean oil to gasket first. 23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine. 24. Remember drain plug from step 11. 25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan. 26. Hurry to replace drain plug before the whole quart of fresh oil drains onto floor. 27. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame. 28. Bang head on floor board in reaction. 29. Begin cussing fit. 30. Throw wrench. 31. Cuss and complain. 32. Clean up; apply Band-Aid to knuckle. 33. Beer. 34. Beer. 35. Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil. 36. Beer. 37. Lower car from jack stands 38. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands 39. Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during step 23. 40. Test drive car 41. Get pulled over; arrested for driving under the influence. 42. Car gets impounded. 43. Make bail; get car from impound yard. Money Spent: $50 parts $12 beer $75 replacement set of jack stands; hey the colors have to match! $1000 Bail $200 Impound and towing fee Total: $1337 :rofl:

All the best James m8, take care, and I'm sure u'll be Zedding again bloody soon :dance: And I'm sure u'll be :hyper: as well :D DAVE