>Signs You've Been Living Somewhere Too Long
> >
> >LONDON
> >1 You say 'mate' constantly.
> >2 You think it is perfectly normal to pay over £3.00 for a pint.
> >3 Anyone not from London is a 'w*nker'.
> >4 Anyone from outside London and north of the Watford Gap is a 'Northern
> >w*nker'.
> >5 You have no idea where the North is.
> >6 You see All Saints in the Bar Met (again) and find it hard to get
>excited
> >about it.
> >7 The countryside makes you nervous.
> >8 Somebody speaks to you on the tube and you freak out thinking they are
>a
>
> >stalker.
> >9 American tourists no longer annoy you.
> >10 You talk in postcodes. 'God, it was really warm round SW1the other
>day'.
> >11 You can't remember the last time you got up to 30 mph in your car in
>the
> >city.
> >12 You didn't realise that 'Paddington Green' is REAL.
> >13 You hate Mancunians
> >
> >LIVERPOOL
> >1. You have an urge to steal.
> >2. You think Brookside is a 'glamorous' soap.
> >3. You think Hollyoaks is 'posh'.
> >4. You keep going on about how great Liverpool and Scousers are.
> >5. To you, organised crime is putting petrol in the getaway car.
> >6. You start to cry when you hear 'Ferry cross the Mersey'.
> >7. You think anyone from Liverpool has a great sense of humour.
> >8. You often wonder why you don't hear of many Scouse comedians any more.
>
> >9. You think everyone's heard of Greg Pateras
> >10. You start thinking that Plymouth sounds nice.
> >11. You hate Mancunians.
> >
> >GLASGOW
> >1. You say 'pish' all the time.
> >2. You say 'aye' all the time.
> >3. You end sentences with 'like' i.e. 'I'm no goin' there, like, it's
> >pish'.
> >4. You think McEwans beer is great, ignoring the fact it 'tastes of pish
> >like'.
> >5. You get an urge to punch everybody you meet.
> >6. You punch everybody you meet.
> >7. You get drunk before, after and during punching everybody you meet.
> >8. You are incomprehensible.
> >9. People seem to be scared of you when you say where you are from.
> >10 You automatically get the urge to kill on hearing the words
>'Edinburgh'
>
> >or 'England'.
> >11. You have heart disease aged 26 due to all deep-fried pizzas you have
> >consumed since birth.
> >12. You hate Mancunians
> >
> >DUBLIN
> >1. You say 'I'm Grand' all the time.
> >2. You think of Guinness as if it is the sixth food group.
> >3. You disagreed with 2. - Guinness is the FIRST food group.
> >4. You're pale and white... yet compared to others your suntan looks
>good.
>
> >5. You say 'Are you Grand ?' all the time.
> >6. You say 'Isn't it grand' all the time.
> >7. You say 'That'd be grand' all the time.
> >8. You can pronounce names like Eoghan, Niamh and Siobhan.
> >9. You take 4 hours to get home on a Saturday night and think nothing of
> >it.
> >10 You don't eat anything cold, uncooked or not resembling meat, bread or
>
> >potatoes
> >11. You say 'Your man' all the time.
> >12. You say 'Your woman' all the time.
> >13. You say 'It's grand that your man asks if I'm grand' all the time.
> >14. You find yourself still living with family and having dinners cooked
> >for you by someone's mammy - at 35.
> >15. You talk about 'dinners' and 'mammys'.
> >16. You hate Mancunians
> >
> >CARDIFF
> >1. You say "Boyo" all the time even to females.
> >2. You fancy Cerys Matthews or Tom Jones or both.
> >3. Phlegm gets sprayed everywhere when you mention place names.
> >4. You can say Llanfairpwllpyngyllgogisiliollantesliogogoch quite clearly
>
> >after seven pints of Brain's Best Bitter.
> >5. You hate Mancunians.
> >
> >BIRMINGHAM
> >1. You wonder why everybody laughs at you when you speak.
> >2. You always say "Oroight!" when you greet your friends.
> >3. You hate Mancunians.
> >
> >MANCHESTER
> >1. You go mad when somebody who is not from Manchester says 'mad fer
> >it','Nobody says that EVER!' you scream.
> >2. You say 'mad fer it' when back in Manchester.
> >3. You think fisherman's hats are attractive.
> >4. You support Man City out of principle.
> >5. You see Coronation Street stars all the time and think nothing of it.
> >6. You think Londoners are 'soft southern w*nkers'... until they kick
>your
>
> >head in at a footie match.
> >7. You get a freckle and consider yourself 'sun-tanned'
> >8. You deny that it rains all the time ... as you struggle home with the
> >shopping in yet another torrential downpour.
> >9. You won't pay more than £1.50 for a wrap of skag.
> >10. People start yawning when you talk about how great Manchester is
> >11. You are too stoned to realise that everyone hates Mancunians.