scrawni

Good on ya sweetheart

Get on this website and drool, makes the lotus carlton look like a mondeo http://www.hsv.com.au/index_eseries.asp

Sorry to say guys but this morning was the second icey morning for me, but at least its dry.

I think next year we are getting the new Commadore HSV badged as a VXR, now they are horny and a family saloon.

All four look like beasts to me but the nicest one is on all fours, if that makes sense, oh I know what i mean. The car looks nice

Nah the blokes probably been out sniffin petrol all night, at least these guys have made a name for themselves

I thought you might be out trick or treating yourself

He's gone quiet

10% said between 20+30 40% said between 30+40 2% said between 40+60 48% said who gives a :tongue:

I was going through my funny folder and thought I could cheer folks up on this cold dark holloween

Can he call a friend or do a 50/50

Lets hear some new ones then :tongue:

Ed Zachary disease. A woman was very distraught over the fact that she had not had a date or any sex for over 5 years. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek medical expertise with the well known Chinese sex therapist, Dr Chang. Upon entering the examination room, Dr Chang said 'OK, take off all your croase' The woman did as she was told. 'Now get down and craw reery, reery fass to odderside of room' Again the woman did as she was instructed. Dr Chang then said 'OK, now craw reery, reery, fass back to me' As she did Dr Chang shook his head slowly. 'Your problem vewy bad. You have Ed Zachary disease. Wurse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates' The woman asked anxiously 'Oh my god, Dr Chang what is Ed Zachary disease?' Dr Chang sighed deeply and replied 'Ed Zachary disease is when your face look Ed Zachary like your arse'

Dear Technical Support, > > > >18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2, > >which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are > >apparently conflicts between these two products and the only > >solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned > >off. > > > >To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several > >other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and > >Playboy 6.9. Successive versions of GirlFriend proved no better. > > > >I tried a shareware program, Slapper >2.1, but it had many bugs and > >left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for > >several weeks. Eventually, I tried to run GirlFriend 1.2 and > >Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these > >two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my > >hardware. > > > >I eventually upgraded to Fiancée 1.0, only to discover that this > >product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 > >tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled > >with FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse2005. > > > >Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be > >very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were > >automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. > >They then resurfaced months later when I had >forgotten about them. > >Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, > >and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Multi-Whinge. These > >latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what > >the problem is. > > > >Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, > >requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express > >which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Also, when Wife 1.0 > >attaches itself to my Saab 93 Convertible hard drive, it often > >crashes. > > > >Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, > >which can't be turned off. > > > >Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2005, but there could > >be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if > >Wife 1.0 detects Mistress >2005, it tends to delete all of your Money > >before uninstalling itself. > >Dear Tech Support: > > > >Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a > >distinct slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the > >Flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under > >Boyfriend 5.0. > > > >In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, > >such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed > >undesirable programs such as: Football 5.0, Rugby 4.3 and Cricket > >3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs; it simply crashes the system. > >I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail. > >What can I do? > > > >Signed, > >Desperate > >------------------ > > > >Dear Desperate: > > > >First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 >is an Entertainment Package, while > >Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Try entering the command: > >C:/I-THOUGHT-YOU-LOVED-ME to download Tears 6.2, which should > >automatically install Guilt 3.0. If that application works as > >designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications > >Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above > >application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, > >Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. > > > >WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will create Snoring > >Loudly. > > > >CAUTION: Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law. This is not > >a supported application and will crash Husband 1.0. > > > > > > > >In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited > >memory and cannot learn new >applications quickly. You might consider > >buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I > >personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7. > > > > > > > >Good Luck,Tech Support > > > >------------------ > > Best Regards Scrawni

I'm getting one Monday The Monday after I win lotto of course :p

Sorry about the pic it didn't work

Check out the picture (nothing unusual to be seen) then read what follows. In Sweden it is a bit of a custom for the groom to be kidnapped and whisked off somewhere for his stag night, which usually lasts all day and all night rather than the typical British stag night where you all arrange it beforehand go out get drunk and hire a stripper. The Swedes do it different. The groom has no idea until he gets nabbed. He might be dressed up in something crazy... and go do something funny...and then the fun starts! This particular guy is a keen sailor and when he was kidnapped for his stag night they pasted a false "skippers-beard" on him and put him at the helm of a 60-foot yacht and let him be skipper for the day... Much beer and fine food was consumed. But nothing... nasty happened to him at all... In the evening when they got back on land and were getting cleaned up for the night club... they all had a sauna as is customary in Sweden.... Imagine the groom’s horror when he walked into the sauna where his naked buddies were waiting for him and then to notice that best mate number one had no pubic hair ... Neither did friend two ... Nor three ... Or four... Now check out the false beard again...........

Shame mines off road, it would be good to see a few folks again and breath some fumes.

I love these cars, hey its nice to see someone appreciate them rather than stick thier nose up and scoff. Good kill.

Which one is morris

McDonalds :rofl: :rofl:

You ordered that from your local ;)

:rofl: :rofl:

Yeah I hate mondeos

I know but can't be arsed to change them