MINES MR ANDY(HERO)DUFF SO KEEP YR HANDS OFF PMSL :rofl: ;) :D

yea, best not to set your sights too high in life, that way you wont feel let down!! :D

MINES MR ANDY(HERO)DUFF SO KEEP YR HANDS OFF PMSL :rofl: ;) :D

 

:slap:

Me

David Hasslehoff [ducks for cover under the desk]

David Hasslehoff [ducks for cover under the desk]

 

Not as cool as the Fonz

Not as cool as the Fonz

 

ey!

brown bottle from the comic the viz, he drinks to turn into a superhero lol

mines

has to be orgasmo

 

MINES MR ANDY(HERO)DUFF .I CANT WAIT TO GET MY HANDS IN HIS PANTS PMSL :rofl: ;) :D

 

:eek: :eek:

mr arthur guinness-visionary, father , founder :duffer: :duffer: :duffer: :duffer:

 

i salute you

Arnie, theres is only one.

Mcguiver - he's a legend... does everything with a swiss army knife!!

enoch powell. ;)

:eek: :eek:

: :bow:

If the ocean were wiskey

and I were a duck,

i'd swimm to the bottom

and drink my way up,

but the ocean aint wiskey

and i aint a duck

so i'm going back to duffy's

to have a good .....

 

 

 

BEAT THAT GAZZAZ32

If the ocean were wiskey

and I were a duck,

i'd swimm to the bottom

and drink my way up,

but the ocean aint wiskey

and i aint a duck

so i'm going back to duffy's

to have a good .....laugh at his winkie

 

 

 

BEAT THAT GAZZAZ32

 

 

:rofl: :rofl:

maggie thatcher :bow:

If the ocean were wiskey

and I were a duck,

i'd swimm to the bottom

and drink my way up,

but the ocean aint wiskey

and i aint a duck

so i'm going back to duffy's

to have a good .....

 

 

 

BEAT THAT GAZZAZ32

 

 

yeah beat that gazza boy!!

f**k sake u really love duffy dont you hunnipe

If the ocean were wiskey

and I were a duck,

i'd swimm to the bottom

and drink my way up,

but the ocean aint wiskey

and i aint a duck

so i'm going back to duffy's

to have a good .....

 

 

 

BEAT THAT GAZZAZ32

now now ladies put yr claws away lol,and no cant beat that one hunnypie :D

now now ladies put yr claws away lol,and no cant beat that one hunnypie :D

 

 

I can

 

 

 

 

Funny Poems CategorySubmit Your PoemSearch For A Poem

The Good Sport

 

A shame it was about old Bert, they said,

A drinking man, a sport, a thoroughbred;

He' d never meant ill to beast nor mankind

And seldom would utter a word unkind.

 

Forgot, meanwhile, the less than perfect Bert,

Libido pert and ego girted Bert,

Attractive flirt and far from callow Bert,

Voracious dilletante, shallow Bert.

 

When Bert decided on a taste of grog

He' d shock the bar with cronies' eyes agog;

He' d quaff his beer making gin a double chaser,

A glass of sherry made an ample bracer.

 

And fired with fuel, instead of heading home,

The wayward ways of wine tempt him to roam

The suburbs seeking fun and games and kisses

Of carefree coupling robbed from married misses.

 

Unwise he fails to see that trouble' s brewing,

While wife ignores his none too secret wooing:

She' d other interests sank while hubbie drank,

Unwitting, Bert was free to hanky-pank.

 

But, matrons flirty meet at eight thirty

And plan a soiree in aid of Bertie:

To catch him liquored and quick to bandy,

They mean to prove that 'candy is dandy'.

 

Now Bert, despite sophisticated face,

Is narrow, prudish, tense and straight-of-lace:

The missioner position' s rule of thumb

With alcohol appeasing fears of mum.

 

The girlie party plans to nobble Bertie,

To quell his drunken charms by playing dirty,

To catch him late with belly full from drinking:

Bed-hopping Bertie seldom stops for thinking.

 

It' s true to say that Bert will never learn

Until his fingers well and truly burn;

He hangs one on 'til pulses rock and roll

Then heads for sunset matinee, yet droll.

 

Arriving, stopping dead, he sniffs the air

As comely nymphs present their bodies bare,

Some nude, some rude, becoming, clad exotic

With hairstyles outrageous, make-up erotic.

 

First hot, then cold and funny, feeling sick

Bert suffers claustrophobia, panics quick;

Seductive ladies sing and belly dance,

Ringed fingers gesture, vulgar stockings prance.

 

A guild of giggling girls, a touch too tipsy,

Their heat and sweat and scent would scare a gypsy.

Encapture Bert with wet and loveless kisses

And take his trousers down with loathsome hisses.

 

He' s perfumed and painted and stands half-naked

No place for wowsers intimidated;

The multi-mirrored entrance hall reflected

Defective Bertie, bottom bared, dejected,

 

He shakes with fear and rage and shamed aghast

He finds his car and sobers up at last;

He races reckless, grey and looking queer

And hurtles off the end of Mordialloc pier.

 

'A shame it was about old Bert', mates said,

'A drinking man, a sport, a thoroughbred'.

or maybe the Beer Prayor, as known by all good Pompadors

 

Our lager,

Which art in barrels,

Hallowed be thy drink.

Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk),

At home as it is in the tavern.

Give us this day our foamy head,

And forgive us our spillage,

As we forgive those who spill against us.

And lead us not to incarceration,

But deliver us from hangovers.

For thine is the beer, the bitter, and the lager.

Barmen.

f**k sake u really love duffy dont you hunnipe

 

dammit i've been sussed ! :rant:

 

 

 

 

 

 

:rofl:

maggie thatcher :bow:

 

Why not! :)

 

Although I would have to say Homer Simpson........

 

 

........"you've tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is never try!"

 

Wise words there :tongue:

 

Richard :dance: