On the bank sat the Bishop of Buckingham,

His thumbs he was a sucking 'em,

he watched the stunts,

of the cunts in the punts,

and the tricks of the pricks who were fucking 'em

 

LMAO!

A Day By The Sea

 

One fine day in summer last year,

a man was seen on our local pier,

he dived underneath and came up by a rock,

then amused all the girls by waving his cock

at the copper who stood on the shore,

the very same copper who copped him before.

 

For the copper to call him out was a farce,

he simply surned round to show off his arse,

and ended by laughingright into his face.

 

He and his girlfriend went for a swim,

they travelled a while with his hand on her quim,

to support her in case she felt tired,

for which kind attention she greatly admired.

 

He swam like a drake, she like a duck,

they ended the day with a nice little fuck.

 

Dinner and dance with a bottle of wine,

a pleasure I'm sure that no girl can decline.

 

After the dance they went on the hunt,

to find some seaweed to decorate her cunt

at home in memories to be,

of a wonderful day spent down by the sea.

 

As we leave them, night falls,

she amuses her boyfriend by tickling his balls,

with cute little stories of those wonderful days.

 

 

IVOR LONGTOOL

 

 

there was a company called se who could not pay for there own pee, so they closed there website down , they put on a frown and now they still stink of pee

 

Ahem, my opening offering...

 

There once was this man from SA

Who to be honest I thought was gay

He had pics of chicks

But they all had dicks

He's being deported in May

 

ROFLMFAO

 

 

 

------------------

To my second offering for the evening! LMFAO

 

Enjoy...

 

There once was a guy called Duff

His head looked like a shaved Muff

His Mrs was fit

But he was a tit

His SA mate was into boy fluff

 

 

Nobody made me do it, I'm man enough to admit my own classics!!! LMFAO

 

 

 

------------------

Mary had a little lamb,

her Father shot it dead.

Now it goes to school with her,

between two slices of bread.

 

 

RCD LMFAO at all the 'poets' we have on the forum!!!!

There was a young man fromm Leeds,

who invented a wanking machine.

On the 99th stroke,

the fucking thing broke,

and whipped his balls to ice-cream.

 

 

MRS dunk300zxtt

There was a young man from Preston called Rob

Who had a very rare 'prob' with his knob

From the end there dripped snot

Which soon turned to rot

And he decided to change his name to Bob!

x

x

 

There was an old man from Muldean

Who invented a screwing machine

Concave and convex

It served every sex

And played with itself inbetween

There was Macca, JR and Timmy T

The men the others all wished they could be

But our cars were to fast

So you all crawled up your own arse

And now Macca will have you for tea

 

LMFAO Macca I did say about the pop LOL

There once was a man called ChrisC,

who had to sit down to wee,

his dick was so small,

he only had one ball,

it was the size of a boy who was three.

 

------------------

There once was a twat called Macca,

His car fell out of a cracker,

The Z was so naff,

It made the girls laugh,

And giggle at the size of his pecker!

 

oh dear, oh dear!!!

 

There once was a lad called duffman,

Whose penis would just not function,

he had it cut off and now he wears a frock,

and to be honest he really does suit him!

 

LMFAO!!!!

Macca made me do it

there once was a lad called chrisc,

............

Oh fuck it!!! ill get to the point, macca sez hes comin round to pan ur ass!!

There once was a lad called duffman,

Who's car he found would not function,

he shook it around,

on uneven ground,

and his turbos headed straight for the dustbin!!!!!!!!

 

ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!

Again, macca put me up to it!!!

There once was a lad called andy,

who found jeff tt was quite handy,

if only he'd known,

his turbo's had blown,

he'd have drowned his sorrows in shandy!!

 

That to, was macca's idea!!!

 

there once was a bloke called timmy,

who thought his penis was too skinny,

he said to the wife,

shall i put it in twice,

nah, fuck that, i'll insert this 12 inch thingy!!!

 

Well timmy u just told me u wernt easily offended!"!!!

 

 

 

Hey stop blaming me FFS

 

------------------

There once was a twat called ChrisC,

who got hit on the head with a tree,

It was Macca that did it,

cos that twat deserved it,

now he makes no rymes up about me.

 

------------------

 

 

 

[This message has been edited by MAC 1 (edited 26-03-2002).]

there once was a bloke named..........erm ill stop there!!

 

[This message has been edited by zedster (edited 26-03-2002).]

 

[This message has been edited by zedster (edited 26-03-2002).]

There once was a woman called mrs .T,

who quite often used the garden for a pee,

one night she slipped,

put her hand in rotweiler shit,

and timmy was forced to make his own tea!

there once was a boy called rob b,

his arse was the size of an oak tree,

oh boy did he flutter,

when his girlfriend would mutter,

how the hell do you fit in that seat???

 

bwhahahahahaha this has to be the best thread ive read so far. Muwhahahahahahaha

 

next week log on to http://www.300zxpoetry.co.uk

 

There was a young man called Duff

Whose turbos said enough!

Now he’s taken the engine out

and Lynsay’s begun to shout.

'That’s the last time your getting any muffin!'

mary had a little lamb,

it's fleece was red as red,

the reason for this was it had a pick axe in it's head

 

------------------

If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?

 

or...

 

Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside. Mr Inside stood outside and called to Mr Outside inside. Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from inside and Told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said "NO", and told Mr Outside to come outside. Mr Outside and Mr Inside argued from inside and outside about going outside or coming inside. Finally, Mr Outside coaxed Mr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside went outside to the riverside.