bigmincey

Hope this makes you smile ! ;) A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She Heard the train stop & her son saying, "All of you *******s who want off, get the hell off now, 'cause this is the last stop! And all of you *******s who are getting on, get your ass in the train, cause we're heading back down the tracks." The horrified mother went in & told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room & stay There for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language." Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom & resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped & the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for travelling with us today & hope your trip was a pleasant one." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today." As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are p*ssed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please direct your complaints to the fat b*tch in the kitchen." Alan............ :D

Friday afternoon in the car park ?? G reg I think ? Alan............

If this is a re-post, many apoligies, but been away for a few weeks. If not, enjoy !! Alan..........

If you are watching the pennies, this place do 2nd hand. http://www.walkertyres.co.uk/ Alan.......

Many happy returns mate ! ;) Have a nice one. Alan........

:cool: Very :cool: Go and have 2 goldies ! Alan.......

Job well done mate ! ;) Treat yourself to a wee Goldie ! Alan...........

:cool: Alan.

Dont know if this is true or not, and couldnt really care, but it certainly gets my vote !! :duffer: Subject: Water vs Beer !!!!! It has been scientifically proven that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, after one year we will have absorbed 1 kilo of the Escherichia Coli bacteria usually found in feces. In other words, we will have consumed 1 liter of s***. However, we don't run that risk when we drink beer, whiskey, rum or other liquors because the creation of alcohol involves a distillation process of boiling, filtering and fermenting. It is my duty to communicate to all of you who are drinking water to stop doing so as it has been scientifically proven that it is unhealthy and therefore bad for you. Remember: Water = s*** Alcohol = Health Free yourself of s***, drink alcohol!!! It's better to drink alcohol and talk s***, than to drink water and be full of s***! Alan.....................

:D Alan....

Just, NO !! Alan...........

COOL ! :cool: Shame really, coz if it had been real, it would have been very different. Alan.......

The interior looks like he has skinned one of the muppets ! Alan....

Apparently this was taken at a show in Sweden, but is it real or a ps job ?? :confused: If it is real, all credit to whoever did the fabrication ! Alan.

Although most of us are all Zed Heads, A few of us have either owned or fancied a Yank at one time or another. Or like Mantav8, got the best of both worlds ! ;) But what happens if you fancy an American pick-up and a Corvette ?? Eh, you dont do this !!!! :smw: http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/GMC-CHEVY-CORVETTE-TRUCK-WITH-A-TOUCH-OF-LAMBROGINI-WOW_W0QQitemZ4634614926QQcategoryZ7251QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem Alan. :hurl:

Sweet ! :bow: Alan.........

A Horse, A Chicken & A Harley. On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the Horse whinnied for the Chicken to go get the farmer for help! Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save the horse. Back at the bog, the Horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse! Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals. A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life! The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his Hangy-down thing and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life. The moral of the story? "When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks." Alan........... :D

Many happy returns guys, have a goodun. Alan..........

I had the same question at the start of the year. Did it and had no problems with the car since !! Sounds better, and there is a slight increase in performance. http://www.300zx.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=63536&referrerid=3590 Alan.................

When I did mine, I dropped of the rear of the exhaust section, Got a drill that was long in lenght, about 12" long and 12mm in size. Raggled the drill inside and the inside of the cats broke up all easy. Much better than hammering it. Get all the big bits out, and then start it and give it a wee rev !! ;) Soon gets rid of all the smaller bits! :D Bolt it back together and thats it. Mines sounded much better and a small improvement in performance as well. Alan.......

Rob, Never met you bud, but looking at your car makes me blood boil, and really feel for you mate. :mad: Notice that some of the Nitromoors went over the Glass roof, if the glass has been marked and wont look right, let me know, as I have a spare set of "T" Roofs going spare ! No charge for them if it helps any, and they are in red. I would be well pissed off !! :mad: Good luck with the insurance mate. Cheers, Alan........

:slap: :D :D :D Good luck mate, think you may need it soon !! Alan...........

F**k IT, BAN HIM !!! ALAN..........

17 members watching this ?? :rolleyes: How sad are we ?? Alan......

Stop pissing around, Tell us, ya fanny !!! ;) Alan........