Clint Thrust

Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or > boyfriend along shopping > This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in > Oxford: > > Dear Mrs. Murray, > > While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty > Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and > your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics. > Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our > surveillance cameras: > > 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's > trolleys when they weren't looking. > > 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute > intervals. > > 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine > products aisle. > > 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, > "Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened. > > 5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. > > 6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told > shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas > stove. > > 7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he > began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" > > 8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, > picked his nose, and ate it. > > 9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the > Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants > were. > > 10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the > "Mission Impossible" theme. > > 11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna look" > using different size funnels. > > 12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled > "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" > > 13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed > the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices again." > > And; last, but not least: > > 14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; > then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here." > > Yours sincerely, > Edward Thompson - Manager :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

It's Scouse alright. Ey EY EY CALM DOWN :hyper:

Old enough to know who's boss!. I got her a white dress as well so that she blends in with the rest of the kitchen appliances.

I got mine some lovely new red shoes. She is a size 6 and they are a size 4. Still gets her nearer the fookin sink.

FFS!. How many times did they say on the threads that everything was soooo cheap. Nobody in their right mind would let all that gear go for that price, taking up room or not. They should have been more guarded with their money. There's an old saying which goes "if it's too good to be true, then it probably is!. Having said that, he still deserves a good :slap: :mac1: and a cattle prod up his arse. HARTY.

So, it's fast cars, themed lapdancing clubs, page three girls, top hotels and five of the top locations on the planet. SOUNDS SHITE.

Don't need to scrap 'em just carry a can of black enamel spraypaint around with you.

:rofl: :D :rofl: :rofl: He must have been jacked up to the ceiling sat on that!!.

Benilyn 4 flu please.

FOOL, it's the one you steer with (I think).

Done, but there's still the hyperspace problem :confused: HARTY.

I have a similar problem but in reverse. Every time I push down the right hand pedal, there's a huge whooooosh and I go into hyperspace. Don't get it but I know it makes the missus grab hold of the sides of the seat and start going " NO NO NO!". Any suggestions. HARTY.

Thought so!! :rofl:

heat guard for my arse. She's a big girl and I burnt it on the light bulb last time!! :rofl:

Not that one. It's the one with the ball at the bottom. What, do you think I'm a cheapskate or something :rofl: HARTY.

A new dyson.

NAH, a clitorus is Fords new baby hatch, so called because every c**ts got one !! :rofl:

Yes and as soon as they are able to get a round in men are fooked :rofl:

Check this out guys and gals. Worth the money??. http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/NISSAN-300ZX-Hybrid-TWIN-TURBO-520-BHP-TAX-MOTD_W0QQitemZ330086903119QQihZ014QQcategoryZ18238QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem HARTY.

I got from Liverpool to Grimsby on £3.24 of petrol. I did get a lift from the RAC after 13 miles though. So on that trip I averaged about 180 to the gallon. Is that a record??. HARTY

I've tried a few. They are normally 0.99 start bid and the seller contacts you saying the car is in Italy or somewhere and he wants the money before you get to see the car. Fookin scammers I hate them!!. HARTY

COOL, how would I add a .pdf file onto this thread. :rolleyes: yes I am thick :rofl:

Si senor, Derago forte lorez inaro, dement lorez demar trux. Fulo enzan geez andux. EH?. :tongue:

Yes I thought it was way over price but I didn't want to say in case it belonged to someone on here. Didn't want a :slap: I hate those badges. HARTY.

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=320078146819&ssPageName=ADME:B:SS:UK:1 This belong to anyone on here??. HARTY