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Am I being nasty ?


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We have a daughter still living with us she is 25 yrs old, the boys have left home and married. I think it is time for her to find a place of her own, she is single no serious boyfriend, my wife went mad when I suggested this, accusing me of virtually throwing her out ! This is not what i said, I said it was time we had the house to ourselves and she should start looking for a place of her own.We should have our own privacy and space and have got to the ages when we have done our job bringing the kids up.Our daughter is working full time paying £30 a week lodge to us ( which she thinks is plenty LOL) for that she has her own room, food, water,electric,gas, most things in the house really, sometimes has friend stay after a night out. Am I being nasty ?

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certainly not, i was shipped out to find a house last year at 27, tbh for what she is paying in board 30 quid a week!!) no wonder she is wanting to stay put.

 

If she does not get out into the real world soon, she will never realise the depth of responsibility and financial management and it will certainly not do her any favours when she finally does go it alone.

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lol i paid 30quid a week over 15 years ago so its time to put her rent up.....theres so many of my lads here at work more or less doing just the same as your daughter....you work hard for your gaff so why should she get away scott free its time she woke up and smelt the coffee

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if i have kids if they do not carry on their education they are out at 16. If they are old enough to get a job for independance they are old enough to support themselves imho.

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Guest deve8uk

27 in full time employment ( you didnt say what she does or earn here wich could make a difference) and paying peanuts to stay at home. I'd say shes very sad to be brutaly honest andis why shes probaly nt got a fella, sending teh wrong msg.

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Fooking ruthless the lot of you. This your child, the person you should be willing to die for, the most precious gift you ever had!. I wish my kids were still living with me. You should support and encourage her in whatever she wants to do. You can advise when you think she needs guidance and that's called unconditional love. You lot are the types that teach a child to swim by throwing it in at the deep end - sink or swim. How can you even contemplate asking her to leave.

 

I agree with your wife, you are nasty for suggesting this.

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Fooking ruthless the lot of you. This your child, the person you should be willing to die for, the most precious gift you ever had!. I wish my kids were still living with me. You should support and encourage her in whatever she wants to do. You can advise when you think she needs guidance and that's called unconditional love. You lot are the types that teach a child to swim by throwing it in at the deep end - sink or swim. How can you even contemplate asking her to leave.

 

I agree with your wife, you are nasty for suggesting this.

 

 

nope your wrong imho, my parents let me live at their house for next to nothing. i ended up it no concept of money, no idea of responsibiltiy, heavy debt 9which i had to be bailed out of and it made me become in short a spoilt brat.

 

It alright all thisd "this is your child, you should support her in whatever she wants to do etc" but i would have been quite happy spending all my earnings on me be it shopping, zed, booze fuelled nights out. What did that teach me? nothing it did me more harm than good and i would have remained on that gravy train till the day my parents passed away. Then what? i really would be in a mess. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind and if a person is not willing to provide for themselves, sometimes the only way to open their eyes for their own good is to force them to hit realisation.

 

I am damn grateful to my parents for giving me the boot, and making me realise what life is about.

 

It has made me a better person

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All depends on if she can support herself in the real world on what she is earning.

 

25 and still at home is not exactly uncomman these days, being single makes it even harder.

 

Talk to her and see what her finances are like, dont say you wanna kick her out try and put it more you want to help her spred her wings and you will help her out with it too.

 

Dont think your being nasty but there is a huge difference between telling your kids to sod off they are not welcome any more and helping them move onto the next stage of their lives.

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Fooking ruthless the lot of you. This your child, the person you should be willing to die for, the most precious gift you ever had!. I wish my kids were still living with me. You should support and encourage her in whatever she wants to do. You can advise when you think she needs guidance and that's called unconditional love. You lot are the types that teach a child to swim by throwing it in at the deep end - sink or swim. How can you even contemplate asking her to leave.

 

I agree with your wife, you are nasty for suggesting this.

 

mate i got 4 kids love em all....but i also love em equally enough to make them independent well rounded people...they will take advantage of your good nature almost all kids are programmed to do this...sometime you need to exercise tough love its one of the hardest things you can ever do as a parent...they wont always do things you're proud of...but thats the point about developing as an adult and having your own space...they need to have their own rules n space not change yours in your space

 

in respect of the overall problem try this....put her rent up by @ £250 then save it for her....in 4 months you give her £1000 and say here's your deposit you couldnt save for getting your own pad

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Fooking ruthless the lot of you. This your child, the person you should be willing to die for, the most precious gift you ever had!. I wish my kids were still living with me. You should support and encourage her in whatever she wants to do. You can advise when you think she needs guidance and that's called unconditional love. You lot are the types that teach a child to swim by throwing it in at the deep end - sink or swim. How can you even contemplate asking her to leave.

 

I agree with your wife, you are nasty for suggesting this.

 

Cruel to be kind.

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Fooking ruthless the lot of you. This your child, the person you should be willing to die for, the most precious gift you ever had!. I wish my kids were still living with me. You should support and encourage her in whatever she wants to do. You can advise when you think she needs guidance and that's called unconditional love. You lot are the types that teach a child to swim by throwing it in at the deep end - sink or swim. How can you even contemplate asking her to leave.

 

I agree with your wife, you are nasty for suggesting this.

 

 

lmao. nice one clint. there comes a stage in your childs life when they have to realise theres a REAL WORLD out there. it will do them no favours keeping them at home as they wont have any idea how to fend for themselves in later life. from birth, the idea is to raise them and teach them what they need to know for when they go it alone, that is a parents job IMO, but not everyone elses.

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suppose it depends on the circumstances, but i personally would not ask my child to leave home just because they are a certain age, having five adult children, the first left home at 19 because she was in collage 200 miles away she then bought her own house, second left at 24 when he bought a house and got married, third is now 24 lives at home (he owns a house which he has rented out), fourth left home last year at 22 and is renting but wants to move back for a while to get a deposit to buy, no problem with me, and fifth is in collage and lives at home, i never took any money from them towards bills, they are all hardworking and good people, i love my children and enjoy their company and from experience they will move on in their own time, not having a partner i will be alone long enough and dont look forward to it

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suppose it depends on the circumstances, but i personally would not ask my child to leave home just because they are a certain age, having five adult children, the first left home at 19 because she was in collage 200 miles away she then bought her own house, second left at 24 when he bought a house and got married, third is now 24 lives at home (he owns a house which he has rented out), fourth left home last year at 22 and is renting but wants to move back for a while to get a deposit to buy, no problem with me, and fifth is in collage and lives at home, i never took any money from them towards bills, they are all hardworking and good people, i love my children and enjoy their company and from experience they will move on in their own time, not having a partner i will be alone long enough and dont look forward to it

 

HEAR HEAR!!

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Guest 300zx_girl

one day when you're old and need some 'looking after' who will you turn to?

 

like that little buper sticker on the back of some cars says...

 

'look after your children, afterall they will be choosing your nursing home'

 

:)

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We have a daughter still living with us she is 25 yrs old, the boys have left home and married. I think it is time for her to find a place of her own, she is single no serious boyfriend, my wife went mad when I suggested this, accusing me of virtually throwing her out ! This is not what i said, I said it was time we had the house to ourselves and she should start looking for a place of her own.We should have our own privacy and space and have got to the ages when we have done our job bringing the kids up.Our daughter is working full time paying £30 a week lodge to us ( which she thinks is plenty LOL) for that she has her own room, food, water,electric,gas, most things in the house really, sometimes has friend stay after a night out. Am I being nasty ?

 

Let me know when her room is free and I will give you £35 per week. :xxx:

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Let me know when her room is free and I will give you £35 per week. :xxx:

 

 

:D :D :D

 

All I'll say with regard to children is - They didn't ask to be born!

 

I was never charged lodge when at home, and I learnt the value of money from a young age and certainly did not consider myself "out of touch" when I did leave home.

 

I would be mortified to think that my parents wanted me to move out, and it would personally really upset me!

 

I'm sure you all know that many youngsters cannot afford to leave home these days due to the cost of property. Would you want them to take financial suicide just so that you can have a little peace and quiet? I wouldn't and would support my children fully.

 

Sorry if this offends, but just my opinion.

 

Ade.

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:D :D :D

 

All I'll say with regard to children is - They didn't ask to be born!

 

I was never charged lodge when at home, and I learnt the value of money from a young age and certainly did not consider myself "out of touch" when I did leave home.

 

I would be mortified to think that my parents wanted me to move out, and it would personally really upset me!

 

I'm sure you all know that many youngsters cannot afford to leave home these days due to the cost of property. Would you want them to take financial suicide just so that you can have a little peace and quiet? I wouldn't and would support my children fully.

 

Sorry if this offends, but just my opinion.

 

Ade.

 

HEAR HEAR!! HOORAH :rofl:

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depends on the child i guess.

 

No i didnt ask to be born, thats true. I am on a low wage and ive bought a house, with support from my family. there is a difference between wanting to and not being able to and not wanting to because its easier to sponge off the olds.

 

If dpm daughter falls into the latter category imho she needs to learn about the big wide world. She will most certainly enjoy life much more with her own independance and a few words from her parents might kick start her into realising what she is missing out on.

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kids dont spoil themselves...parents do it...often by doing nothing or letting them get away with murder (not literally)....this adult runs the risk of becoming a spoilt brat if she thinks mum n dad will sub her to such a great extent

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