* * * APOLOGIES FOR BEING SUCH A BITCH IN THIS THREAD BUT THESE PEOPLE WIND ME UP * * *

 

I seem to have a habit of attracting weird people on love@lycos, for example:

 

I get a message in my guestbook...

 

"hi there just dropped by to say hello"

 

So i go to have a look who left it...

 

Now let's break it down why i didn't reply (i'll save the pic till last it's classic):

 

 

Firstly, responding to the "catchline" i think given the size of her it wouldn't take much to chase her down... with a pack of wild dogs

 

"I enjoy clubbing and partying with friends" - what type of clubbing are we talking? Seal clubbing? Seriously if i saw this moose coming toward my nightclub i'd ban her

 

"I would like a man to wine and dine me" - I couldn't afford that even if i tried

 

"I am not bothered by looks" - No sh*t sherlock, do you have a mirror in your house?

 

"i don't mind if u can't afford to wine and dine me coz..." - Firstly text speak pees me off royally, secondly clutching at straws are we after saying i should chase you, then ask for me to wine and dine you and now say you don't mind if you don't. What you mean is you're desperate

 

Re: Everyday occupation - Looking at your occupation you're not exactly catch of the century are you?

 

"Children - None, hope i will some day" - I severely hope not, there's a point where i think sterilisation needs to be compulsary

 

And just when you think it can't get any worse, here comes the pic....

 

 

And immediately after i get this woman with no chin and no grasp of english grammar:

 

 

Who's description is as follows:

 

"well im 24 lives near sheffield, 5 10 long brown hair dyed diffrent colours, brown eyes, clothes 18-20, shoe size 9, bra 38b, plus i cant drive yet either. ( :rofl: )

 

things i like:

sci fi

football and cricket

geneaology

criminology

drawing

writing short stories

walks in the park

bars and pubs

meeting over seas people

ect................"

 

Fook me why i can't i get any normal people contact me???? :rofl:

fpmsl :rofl: At least i'm not trying to make up for something by having to buy a 20ft power boat behind my zed :tongue:

 

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I see it more as an advertisement ;) :tongue:

Just a shame it's black :x: LOL

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I see it more as an advertisement ;) :tongue:

Just a shame it's black :x: LOL

 

pmsl :rofl: i was going to bring up that point actually :rofl:

thank fook im married.

thank fook im married.

 

Lucky sod, i'm getting very bored of this dating malarky :headvswal

Lucky sod, i'm getting very bored of this dating malarky :headvswal

 

You're dating the wrong girls then :D :rofl:

You're dating the wrong girls then :D :rofl:

 

lol, i need to date more girls to be honest but i hate it when i meet two that are awesome and i have to choose. Not my style really, one at a time for me unfortunately :D

fucking state of that pig, it shouldnt be allowed out the house let alone on a fucking dating site, bloody nerve of it how she think she gonna pull anyone? its obseen, waste of good spunk, how can anything so ugly been bred by the human race? its defo a double bag job that one, 1 over her head and 1 over yours incase hers comes off. Sorry had to be said. Has she got a 5 o'clock shadow of a goaty growing too?

Has she got a 5 o'clock shadow of a goaty growing too?

 

No I think she's been dribbling :rofl:

No I think she's been dribbling :rofl:

:rofl: :rofl: Dont tell me it aint got any teeth either ffs

pmsl :rofl: you should see some of the replies in her guestbook lol

 

Guys going, "i'm interested. want to know more"

 

Admittedly there's only 5 and i'm guessing they were before she put her picture up pmsl :rofl:

all right if you want someone to arm wrestle :rofl:

I think the look on her face is simply a panicked one - how much longer is that worktop going to hold up???

ffs this has been one of the funiest threads for ages :rofl: :rofl:

 

I knew I'd seen that face somewhere before :rofl: :D

I know alcohol was invented so the ugly birds can get s shag, but there no amount of alcohol on the face of this earth that will get that shagged

Just read between the lines of her profile and i think this is what she really means

 

Hi there boys I am 24 (stone) and i'm out growing my friends. I enjoy clubbing (if alowed in) and party food with no friends. I would like a man to wine and dine me (but must be solvent as i eat and drink like a Hippo) and show me the finer things in life ( i should be so lucky). I'm not bothered by looks (just look at me, who am i to be fussy), Its personality that attracts me (he would need a good sense of humour, coz im a joke) and i'm looking for someone who is kind and generous(as i have no job and no money and no one will employ me, except as the face of pedigree chum) and who wants to look after me (ie wipe my arse as i cant reach) Damn that makes me sound like a gold digger ( i have jcb tattooed on my left arm as you can see, the other arm is an anchor) but i dont mind if you cant afford to wine and dine me ( i need to lose about 10 stone) coz im just as happy to stay at home (used to it)with a good film (the blob and a fook off pizza). I am very bubbly( waiting to burst) and get on with most people (but most people dont wanna know me). If you dont want to chat (which i doubt you do) just sign my guest anyway to tell me to fook off and i know you've looked at my site (and what a fooking site)

I know alcohol was invented so the ugly birds can get s shag, but there no amount of alcohol on the face of this earth that will get that shagged

:rofl: :rofl: :hurl:

I know alcohol was invented so the ugly birds can get s shag, but there no amount of alcohol on the face of this earth that will get that shagged

 

get what shagged?? Bunny - yeah we know! :tongue:

fpmsl :rofl:

 

I know i haven't had a decent shag in over 12 months but i'm not THAT desperate :tongue:

 

...i do need some relief soon though, 4 times in the last 12 months and 2 blow jobs just not a happy bunny make (although one of them was fooking superb!) :rofl:

fpmsl :rofl:

 

I know i haven't had a decent shag in over 12 months but i'm not THAT desperate :tongue:

 

...i do need some relief soon though, 4 times in the last 12 months and 2 blow jobs just not a happy bunny make (although one of them was fooking superb!) :rofl:

 

TMI :)

 

lets all chip in 2p and get bunny a blow up doll..... :rofl:

TMI :)

 

lets all chip in 2p and get bunny a blow up doll..... :rofl:

 

Think you should go round and give him a hand hunni :rofl: :rofl:

Think you should go round and give him a hand hunni :rofl: :rofl:

 

Ah go on then :D lol

Ah go on then :D lol

 

wow you are desperate :rofl:

wow you are desperate :rofl:

 

no, he just knows you got hands like mole grips lol

no, he just knows you got hands like mole grips lol

 

:slap: