Why i'm not going to reply to you...

[bantambunny]

* * * APOLOGIES FOR BEING SUCH A BITCH IN THIS THREAD BUT THESE PEOPLE WIND ME UP * * *

 

I seem to have a habit of attracting weird people on love@lycos, for example:

 

I get a message in my guestbook...

 

"hi there just dropped by to say hello"

 

So i go to have a look who left it...

 

Now let's break it down why i didn't reply (i'll save the pic till last it's classic):

 

 

Firstly, responding to the "catchline" i think given the size of her it wouldn't take much to chase her down... with a pack of wild dogs

 

"I enjoy clubbing and partying with friends" - what type of clubbing are we talking? Seal clubbing? Seriously if i saw this moose coming toward my nightclub i'd ban her

 

"I would like a man to wine and dine me" - I couldn't afford that even if i tried

 

"I am not bothered by looks" - No sh*t sherlock, do you have a mirror in your house?

 

"i don't mind if u can't afford to wine and dine me coz..." - Firstly text speak pees me off royally, secondly clutching at straws are we after saying i should chase you, then ask for me to wine and dine you and now say you don't mind if you don't. What you mean is you're desperate

 

Re: Everyday occupation - Looking at your occupation you're not exactly catch of the century are you?

 

"Children - None, hope i will some day" - I severely hope not, there's a point where i think sterilisation needs to be compulsary

 

And just when you think it can't get any worse, here comes the pic....

 

 

And immediately after i get this woman with no chin and no grasp of english grammar:

 

 

Who's description is as follows:

 

"well im 24 lives near sheffield, 5 10 long brown hair dyed diffrent colours, brown eyes, clothes 18-20, shoe size 9, bra 38b, plus i cant drive yet either. ( :rofl: )

 

things i like:

sci fi

football and cricket

geneaology

criminology

drawing

writing short stories

walks in the park

bars and pubs

meeting over seas people

ect................"

 

Fook me why i can't i get any normal people contact me???? :rofl:

[Daves_Zed]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

 

Lincolnshire did she say??................... I think I'll move! ;)

[bantambunny]

Its scary that these people still have hope, surely you'd break down into tears after looking at your pic and typing in such a crap profile and go about improving your life?

[Daves_Zed]

Its scary that these people still have hope, surely you'd break down into tears after looking at your pic and typing in such a crap profile and go about improving your life?

It's scary that these people are allowed out in the community!!!!!!!! :rofl: :rofl:

[bantambunny]

It's scary that these people are allowed out in the community!!!!!!!! :rofl: :rofl:

 

I think they should be sterilised and banned from the internet personally lol :D

[Graham S]

Come on Nick, you know the time has come for you to admit to yourself that they are all you are likely to attract and to stay at home, put your feet up and watch the TV with a bag of crisps.

 

 

Like the rest of us sad, lonely, *******s! :rolleyes: :smash:

[bantambunny]

Come on Nick, you know the time has come for you to admit to yourself that they are all you are likely to attract and to stay at home, put your feet up and watch the TV with a bag of crips.

 

 

Like the rest of us sad, lonely, *******s! :rolleyes: :smash:

 

pmsl :rofl: I like curvy women, not women who look like the bottom of a b52 bomber

 

I'm becoming much more picky each time i meet someone who turns out to be a complete nutcase

[bantambunny]

Oh god, another:

 

VIXEN_VICK from faceparty's contacted me

 

[Graham S]

That was my problem. I got pickier and pickier as I got older until I just stopped picking!

 

Oh dear, nevermind.

 

Where's that bottle of paracetamol gone?

[Daves_Zed]

Which one? Or do I need to ask?? :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

If it's the one on the right (but I bet it isnt :rolleyes: ) go for it, or send her my number :D

[bantambunny]

i wish! one on the right would get it from all angles lol :D

[Guest Coopers-SWB]

Oh god, another:

 

VIXEN_VICK from faceparty's contacted me

 

 

Shag her mate though I bet.

 

Try this one

 

 

Nick

 

I think you have signed up to wrong web site.

 

Looking at those you would be beter off looking for a man.

 

Darrell

[bantambunny]

I'm desperately looking for the fat/munter filter on lycos, can't find it anywhere dammit! :rofl:

 

Had two gay guys after me as well despite my profile saying "STRAIGHT" and looking for a "WOMAN" :headvswal

[Guest Coopers-SWB]

I'm desperately looking for the fat/munter filter on lycos, can't find it anywhere dammit! :rofl:

 

Had two gay guys after me as well despite my profile saying "STRAIGHT" and looking for a "WOMAN" :headvswal

 

 

Think the looking for a woman bit don't work either.

 

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Craig David]

Oh god, another:

 

VIXEN_VICK from faceparty's contacted me

 

 

 

I'd do her mate too.

 

 

I don't know if the real quality flange can be had on the net.

 

You need to get down Yatses! :duffer: :dance:

 

 

Edit - I have to say that first one is funny as f*** though! PMSL! :rofl:

[petey099]

Im sure she has a great personality :x:

[boldy]

Nick at least if your car broke down she,d either fix it or push it to your destination :x: :x:

[Daves_Zed]

Oh god, another:

 

VIXEN_VICK from faceparty's contacted me

 

I've got a plan, mail her back sugesting a place to meet, but insist on her mate coming as well, for 'her' own safety (you can never be too careful these days ;) ) then when they both turn up, dump the fat bint and go off with the decent one :D

 

Is that a plan, or is that a PLAN??!! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[bantambunny]

Nick at least if your car broke down she,d either fix it or push it to your destination :x: :x:

 

I think it'd break down trying to move with her in it :rofl:

[EvoluZion3]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: love this thread Nick - sorry not having a laugh at your expense, just loving the, lets say, 'overstated' self-descriptions. :rofl: that first woman just needs putting down at a vets.

[Retro620ti]

cant help it im pissin myself

[bantambunny]

I've got a plan, mail her back sugesting a place to meet, but insist on her mate coming as well, for 'her' own safety (you can never be too careful these days ;) ) then when they both turn up, dump the fat bint and go off with the decent one :D

 

Is that a plan, or is that a PLAN??!! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

 

fpmsl :rofl: now that's just harsh lol

 

I did get chatting with this cutie from london, originally from valencia, 34 but cute as hell and a none smoker:

 

 

and this gal from up nurth, cracking bod:

 

[bantambunny]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: love this thread Nick - sorry not having a laugh at your expense, just loving the, lets say, 'overstated' self-descriptions. :rofl: that first woman just needs putting down at a vets.

 

no seriously i just find it funny, some of these gals are complete uber-beasts and i thought you need to see the level of munter that's after me :rofl:

 

Surely i can't be that ugly that this is the best i can do??? :shock: lol

[Daves_Zed]

fpmsl :rofl: now that's just harsh lol

 

I did get chatting with this cutie from london, originally from valencia, 34 but cute as hell and a none smoker:

 

 

and this gal from up nurth, cracking bod:

 

Hey, send both them my phone number!! :D If they like the slightly older man??!! :rofl:

[bantambunny]

Hey, send both them my phone number!! :D If they like the slightly older man??!! :rofl:

 

I'l let you have the one left mate :rofl: can't put all my eggs in one basket :D