* * * APOLOGIES FOR BEING SUCH A BITCH IN THIS THREAD BUT THESE PEOPLE WIND ME UP * * *

 

I seem to have a habit of attracting weird people on love@lycos, for example:

 

I get a message in my guestbook...

 

"hi there just dropped by to say hello"

 

So i go to have a look who left it...

 

Now let's break it down why i didn't reply (i'll save the pic till last it's classic):

 

 

Firstly, responding to the "catchline" i think given the size of her it wouldn't take much to chase her down... with a pack of wild dogs

 

"I enjoy clubbing and partying with friends" - what type of clubbing are we talking? Seal clubbing? Seriously if i saw this moose coming toward my nightclub i'd ban her

 

"I would like a man to wine and dine me" - I couldn't afford that even if i tried

 

"I am not bothered by looks" - No sh*t sherlock, do you have a mirror in your house?

 

"i don't mind if u can't afford to wine and dine me coz..." - Firstly text speak pees me off royally, secondly clutching at straws are we after saying i should chase you, then ask for me to wine and dine you and now say you don't mind if you don't. What you mean is you're desperate

 

Re: Everyday occupation - Looking at your occupation you're not exactly catch of the century are you?

 

"Children - None, hope i will some day" - I severely hope not, there's a point where i think sterilisation needs to be compulsary

 

And just when you think it can't get any worse, here comes the pic....

 

 

And immediately after i get this woman with no chin and no grasp of english grammar:

 

 

Who's description is as follows:

 

"well im 24 lives near sheffield, 5 10 long brown hair dyed diffrent colours, brown eyes, clothes 18-20, shoe size 9, bra 38b, plus i cant drive yet either. ( :rofl: )

 

things i like:

sci fi

football and cricket

geneaology

criminology

drawing

writing short stories

walks in the park

bars and pubs

meeting over seas people

ect................"

 

Fook me why i can't i get any normal people contact me???? :rofl:

62.5% with my help :tongue: sorry bunnyman :dance:

she is the hotest girl at the moment.

 

rated 9

 

go for it.

 

Can't bring myself to join up and have a look around. The wife would kill me getting all those emails.

 

Bad enough with the ones you just get.

 

Darrell

 

 

She looks great - looks like there are tidy birds on the net.

 

Wasn't like that in my day! Had to go out and risk a braeing from the tashes and tats lads.

She looks great - looks like there are tidy birds on the net.

 

Wasn't like that in my day! Had to go out and risk a braeing from the tashes and tats lads.

 

lol, there are some tasty looking women on the net only they're far too choosy for their own good :D

lol, there are some tasty looking women on the net only they're far too choosy for their own good :D

 

Well one of them chose me FFS :tongue: :rofl: :shock:

Well one of them chose me FFS :tongue: :rofl: :shock:

 

pmsl :rofl: any cast offs? :tongue:

pmsl :rofl: any cast offs? :tongue:

 

Like I'd say here where the missus may see it :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

 

Fook me why i can't i get any normal people contact me???? :rofl:

 

There's someone out there for everyone and she likes you, you lucky bugger.

I'm sure she has a lovely personality and you'd look great together.

Let's be honest, you ain't going to get any better offers so just go for it :x:

There's someone out there for everyone and she likes you, you lucky bugger.

I'm sure she has a lovely personality and you'd look great together.

Let's be honest, you ain't going to get any better offers so just go for it :x:

 

oh you're so funny :tongue: :rofl: lol

There's someone out there for everyone and she likes you, you lucky bugger.

I'm sure she has a lovely personality and you'd look great together.

Let's be honest, you ain't going to get any better offers so just go for it :x:

 

 

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

And just when you think it can't get any worse, here comes the pic....

 

 

 

 

I'd assume people use their best / a flattering photo in these situations.... Imagine what a bad picture of her looks like.

 

Serously though she looks a bit retarded or something! :rofl:

Serously though she looks a bit retarded or something! :rofl:

 

She's looking more and more ideal by the minute :rofl:

She's looking more and more ideal by the minute :rofl:

 

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Before I met my girlfriend you wouldn't believe some of the fun I've had from meeting girls off t'interweb. If you're willing to put the time in to go "fishing" and don't come across as a complete pr1ck (though being a cheeky b@stard always seemed to work for me) the dividends can be...suprising. And not a heffer among them...:D Ahhhh...halcyon days... :x: :D

pmsl :rofl:

Before I met my girlfriend you wouldn't believe some of the fun I've had from meeting girls off t'interweb. If you're willing to put the time in to go "fishing" and don't come across as a complete pr1ck (though being a cheeky b@stard always seemed to work for me) the dividends can be...suprising. And not a heffer among them...:D Ahhhh...halcyon days... :x: :D

 

I've been out with some stunning girls off the web that I wouldn't have dared approach when I'm out.

If you get a few pictures first you know what you're getting.

Had some very interesting nights out and could tell you some right stories LOL ;)

Cheeky is definately the way forward :D

Even if they're not ideal you always meet new people and it gives you more confidence to go get their friend :rofl:

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

 

FOOK me never laughed so much at a thread..... even got the Mrs laughing!!!

 

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

 

 

Not at you mate, just the whole thing!

 

Neil

I've been out with some stunning girls off the web that I wouldn't have dared approach when I'm out.

If you get a few pictures first you know what you're getting.

Had some very interesting nights out and could tell you some right stories LOL ;)

Cheeky is definately the way forward :D

Even if they're not ideal you always meet new people and it gives you more confidence to go get their friend :rofl:

PMSL! :rofl:

 

[Churchill Dog]Ohhhh yesh.[/Churchill Dog]

 

;) :p :rofl:

Cheeky works a treat, trust me :D

My mate got a fair few shags from datingdirect.co.uk I think.

Oh god, another:

 

VIXEN_VICK from faceparty's contacted me

 

eh stop it thats my mum :nono:

My mate got a fair few shags from datingdirect.co.uk I think.

 

To be fair i did meet one fit gal, i don't normally do one night stands but i couldn't resist and she was a seriously good lay then went nuts on me after.

 

4'11" women are the best in bed! :D

eh stop it thats my mum :nono:

 

pmsl :rofl:

4'11" women are the best in bed! :D

 

 

You don't need to raise your hand to slap them. ;)

they wash themselves wi a raaaag ona stik

You don't need to raise your hand to slap them. ;)

 

lol, i was thinking more that they're quicker and they're that bit tighter ;) :tongue: