just out of curioisty (i promise ;) ) what would be the best way to get shut of a body,sensible answers only please and within reach of your avarage man and not like "i duck taped him to the side of a space shuttle 2 mins before blast off" :rolleyes:

lots of ways really, always helps if you know someone who works in a crematorium ;)

Take 1 wood chipper and insert body (part by part if required and it helps if the clothes and jewellery etc have been removed). 'Chip' until all you are left with is a gooey mess. Take 1 large feeding trough and empty the contents of the chipper in to it.

 

For the next step you will require approx 20 hungry pigs. You can guess the rest. The beauty of the chipper is, that teeth and all can be left 'in-situ' and the piggies delicate bellies won't get upset. Apparantly :D

me being a flat roofer and using hot bitumen everyday got talking to my lads today and i reckon put the body into a 55 gallon drum and fill the drum to the top with bitumen leaving a 2" space at the top, then after its gone hard about 2 days) fill the 2" with oily water and put the ringed top on then put behind the garage and wait till the times right to dispose of the so called harmless drum :) The advantage of this method is no dna scattard about the place,no cutting tools coverd in dna,and no suspect midnight fishing trips with 10 stone lunch bags (lol@mac1),allso no need to contaminate the fish fingers in the freezer with blocks of flesh and increasing the risk of more dna evidence.

ok then now ime waiting for the next fvcker to piss me off :rofl: :rofl: new ideas still wellcome ;)

Take 1 wood chipper and insert body (part by part if required and it helps if the clothes and jewellery etc have been removed). 'Chip' until all you are left with is a gooey mess. Take 1 large feeding trough and empty the contents of the chipper in to it.

 

For the next step you will require approx 20 hungry pigs. You can guess the rest. The beauty of the chipper is, that teeth and all can be left 'in-situ' and the piggies delicate bellies won't get upset. Apparantly :D

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: some nice ideas there given your chosen profesion bud ;)

open a mcdonalds....

you wouldn't get away with it if you do that as your mcdonalds burgers would be the only ones that contain meat :hurl:

you wouldn't get away with it if you do that as your mcdonalds burgers would be the only ones that contain meat :hurl:

:rofl: :rofl: so true so this idea has to go back into the drawer

what if you bury them under your decking?

 

Anyway... I hear the pigs in the new forrest have recently attacked people... and its a pretty remote area :rolleyes:

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: some nice ideas there given your chosen profesion bud ;)

 

oh oh whats his profession? Im thinking all sorts and u need to stick me on the straight and narrow!! :rofl:

I watched a program where if you wrap the body in a carpet and set fire to it it helps to keep the fat wrapped up rather than dripping off the bone and thus burns the bones as well! Only problem then i suppose after reading this thread is the teeth!! Plus I'll never look at my bacon and sausage at the weekend in the same way after reading this thread!!

lots of ways really, always helps if you know someone who works in a crematorium ;)

 

scotty is an undertaker... he might give us some more clues!

I watched a program where if you wrap the body in a carpet and set fire to it it helps to keep the fat wrapped up rather than dripping off the bone and thus burns the bones as well! Only problem then i suppose after reading this thread is the teeth!! Plus I'll never look at my bacon and sausage at the weekend in the same way after reading this thread!!

 

 

thats sick.. :hurl:

 

The most common way of getting rid of a dead thing... is burying the body in a shallow grave. Other methods are leaving the body in a deserted place or a private place, such as one's freezer, dumping it in a body of water, dissolving it with corrosive chemicals, hiding it in cement or concrete, and burning it. Sometimes the body is cut into pieces (e.g. dismemberment) to facilitate disposal; it also enables disposal of each piece separately.

 

The mafia have been known to have the bodies chopped up (i.e. dismembered) then put in the trunk of the person's car. The car is then taken to a mafia-affiliated junkyard and the body crushed, leaving no trace and the car is gone so a murder investigation is never even started

All depends on how willing you are to get your hands dirty and how much of a stomach you've got.

 

Smaller bits dispose of much easyer.

or leave them to miss furry muff pie. apparently shes a bit of a man eater.

Ah should have looked up, already been covered.

:rofl::rofl::rofl:some nice ideas there given your chosen profesion bud ;)

 

You mean my ex profession, I take it? lol :D

You mean my ex profession, I take it? lol :D

:rofl: :rofl: yep ;)

Is anyone else on here just a slightly bit unnerved by this thread? Or is it only me?

/\ /\

 

Whar he said. I'm going to have nightmares now.

 

Here piggy piggy

Remove all clothing and bury deeply in a lime pit it will eat the body away nicely flesh and bone. Just have to make sure you're not discovered burying the body or its dug up before it's fully disolved.

 

Remember to burn all clothing and anything you might have wrapped the body in, and shatter the ashes miles away. :shock:

do yamr6's gay lover in then mince the body up and mix it with kebab meat he wont know the difference but at least he can have his lover go through his arse one last time :rofl: :rofl:

Just sit it on a chair in the local Accident and Emergency ward. It will be long decomposed before anyone offers it a cup of tea :rofl:

Just sit it on a chair in the local Accident and Emergency ward. It will be long decomposed before anyone offers it a cup of tea :rofl:

 

:rofl: :bow: :rofl:

The out to sea bit with concrete boots is good but its best if you first cover the body with chicken wire that way as the body decomposes no pieces will float to the surface, it also creates a nice littel enviroment for fish and crabs to feed.

The out to sea bit with concrete boots is good but its best if you first cover the body with chicken wire that way as the body decomposes no pieces will float to the surface, it also creates a nice littel enviroment for fish and crabs to feed.

 

you sound like a professional! :p

people have pissed me off in the past. Your allowed to plan things just not do them, they cant send you down for dreaming.