They say a swan can break your arm. And they are a large, aggresive bird.

 

What weaponry would you want to attack one with little / no fear of loosing?

I'd use a set of traditional Japanese throwing spanners :smash: :rofl:

but...

the Queen will be having words with you if you touch them :slap: :nono:

 

 

During the Middle Ages, the mute swan was considered to be a valuable commodity and was regularly traded between noblemen. The owners of swans were duty bound to mark their property by way of a succession of unique nicks in the beaks of their birds. It was the duty of the Royal Swanmaster to organise the annual swan-upping, a tradition that survives to this day.

 

The role of swan-upping was to round up unmarked cygnets and once the parentage of the cygnets had been established to the swanmasters satisfaction, the birds could be marked appropriately and returned to the wild. The ceremony exists these days in a largely symbolic form, although as an exercise it is useful in monitoring the condition and number of swans on the Thames.

 

The only two companies that still observe the tradition of owning swans on the Thames are the Worshipful Companies of Vintners and Dyers. The Royal swans are no longer marked, but an unmarked mute swan on the Thames is regarded as belonging to the Queen by default. The Queen still maintains an officially appointed Swan Keeper, and the ceremony still takes place on the Monday of the third week in July.

 

The Queen has a prerogative over all swans in England and Wales. The Swan Keeper also despatches swans all over the world, sent as gifts in the Queens name.

 

Like many ancient English traditions its origins are based on protecting the rights of the rich and powerful. Centuries ago the swan was considered a culinary delight, but owning swans was a privilige initially restricted to the Crown who then extended ownership to two City Livery companies; The Company of Vintners and the Company of Dyers. At one time any unauthorised person found guilty of killing a swan could be sentenced to transportation for seven years and even up to 1895 could receive seven years hard labour.

 

That's your lesson for today! :rofl:

 

 

Wow, I did not know that Chris,

did anyone else know that?

I was thinking more a stand off weapon, so maybe a cruise missile, or a 1000lb paveway? (Always use a hammer to crack an egg me....)

stick a grenade up its bum.....

 

 

but catching it would mean 'ouch' broken arm...

 

so stick with a shot gun.. i remember when my brother n I went hunting back home... he shot a jackle up the butt with his shotgun (double barrel) - it was absoloutly hilarious coz he didnt mean to ...

i had a friend who we got to go and pinch some swans' eggs from an island when we were kids, he got half way back and the swan saw him. he was upto his waist in mud with a swan on his shoulders, wacking him with it's wings. nasty buggers. but fair play to my mate he didnt drop the eggs lol

You lot are wimps

 

Just go in fast an with arms cartwheeling and feet kicking, then when your close enough drop the nut on it.

Swans are vicious evil buggers - it would have to be one of these i think

I was once in a rowing boat on Loch Lomond when a huge male swan took a dislike to us and came flying/running across the water at us.

They're pretty scary things when they launch at you like that and you're stuck in a little boat.

It crashed into the boat and had a good peck at us before we scared it off with the oars but it was probably just protecting a nest nearby or something.

I'd attack one with a baguette and a george foreman grill.

Katana... lop its head off as it goes to peck you...

 

job done..

if your feeling evil you could try this link

I was once in a rowing boat on Loch Lomond when a huge male swan took a dislike to us and came flying/running across the water at us.

They're pretty scary things when they launch at you like that and you're stuck in a little boat.

It crashed into the boat and had a good peck at us before we scared it off with the oars but it was probably just protecting a nest nearby or something.

 

I was once in a tinny on the Mulgrave river and past a couple of crocs basking in the sun on the mud bank (only little ones about 4 foot) and one slipped into the water and swam over to take a look, we tossed some beer cans at it but it didn't leave so we did.

 

Now toss abeer can at a swan and it will toss it back

I was once in a tinny on the Mulgrave river and past a couple of crocs basking in the sun on the mud bank (only little ones about 4 foot) and one slipped into the water and swam over to take a look, we tossed some beer cans at it but it didn't leave so we did.

 

Now toss abeer can at a swan and it will toss it back

 

the worst is a hippo......

 

 

*mental note to self..... "never get in a boat and head down the Zambezi when its breeding season" :mac1:

the worst is a hippo......

 

 

*mental note to self..... "never get in a boat and head down the Zambezi when its breeding season" :mac1:

 

Oh yeah they are the most dangerous animals in Africa

the worst is a hippo......

 

 

*mental note to self..... "never get in a boat and head down the Zambezi when its breeding season" :mac1:

 

Hunnipie, I was chased by a hippo in the Zambezi valley a few years ago. The ground rumbles, you can hear trees breaking then BAAM, a mahoosive female appears! I swear I was running over the sleeping crocs heads to get the hell out of dodge!

Bufallo are hard Mofo's too.

Which is harder - a hippo or a polar bear?

Which is harder - a hippo or a polar bear?

 

 

gotta be polar, they smash through thick ice and attack huge sealions who have pretty sharp teeth themselves, live in -40c live off a diet of almost pure fat are the worlds largest land based carnivour and can go witout food for 5 months...thats hard

Which is harder - a hippo or a polar bear?

 

who cares... just run when u see either :rofl:

 

Wilderbeast - crazy good for nothing animals..... in fact all they are good for is eating! :x:

Polar bears sit around a blowhole and wait for 3 tonne whales to appear, then they hit them and drag them out of the water.

 

Thats got my vote for hard mofo of the year

you mean seals mate

I have a 5ft backlef, mean and sharp as hell, I'd have your arm off with just my nervous twitch!

you mean seals mate

 

No mate I mean whales, I watched this prog a year or two back and this big male bear was pulling a 3 tonne whale out after it had batterd it to death.

lol ok then, but i'd kick its ass! I'm well ard me

the state of the british waterways do the poor fvckers need any more grief :confused:

Why on earth would you even put up such a pole. All swans belong to the Queen and it's elligal to harm one in any way. Whats with you guys tonight bored, undersexed and just lost the plot completely ;)

 

Yeah, leave the swans alone!

 

If you are near a river or lake and and a swan looks like he/she may do you harm, just feed it. Give the poor thing some bread and it will soon become friendly......

 

And to add to Chris's post, there is supposedly a pub in Tewksbury that is allowed by royal charter to remove a limited number of swans from the river Severn each year to serve up as food.

 

Apparenty King John stopped off there back in the 12th century and fancied roast swan for lunch. The landlord said he wasn't allowed to cook swan as they all belonged to His Majesty, so not wanting to go hungry King John granted the inn permission - which is still in force today. ;)

 

Richard :cool:

if one is tryin to get u push ya knee on to its back against its neck an grab it under the beek then pin it to the floor use ure free arm an a mate to get its wings then throw back in to river an run away .............. apparently ;) (growed up in the country) lol