This is a bricklayer's

accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian

equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board. This is a true story.

Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure.......

 

Dear Sir,

 

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in

Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the

cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust

the following details will be sufficient.

 

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working

alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my

work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed

later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level I went up onto the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it.

 

Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a

slow descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident

report form that I weigh135lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go ofthe

rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the

building.

 

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now

proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the

fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.

 

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until

the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep

into the pulley.

 

Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able

to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain.

 

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the

ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight

of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you

again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent down

the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the

barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken

tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck

began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow

me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

 

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks in

pain and unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind

and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin

its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

 

I hope this answers your inquiry.

its so crazy it has to be true lmfao :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I am p1ssing myself laughing after reading that! It's the deadpan style of delivery that gets me! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

:bow: :bow: :bow: :bow: roflmfaopms!!!

 

that has got to be true!!!

I just dont know what to say. I am speachless. What a pr4tt.

it's murphy and the bricks!! there's even a song about it...

 

The Sick Note (Murphy and the Bricks)

 

Dear Sir, I write this note to you to tell you of my plight

For at the time of writing, I'm not a pretty sight

Me body is all black and blue, me face a deathly gray

And I write this note to say why Murphy's not at work today.

 

While working on the 14th floor, some bricks I had to clear

But to toss them down from such a height was not a good idea

The foreman wasn't very pleased, he is an awkward sod

He said I'd have to cart them down the ladders in me hod.

 

Now shifting all those bricks by hand it was so very slow

So I hoisted up a barrel and secured a rope below

But in me haste to do the job I was to blind to see

That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me.

 

And so when I untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead

And clinging tightly to the rope, I started up instead

I shot up like a rocket, till my dismay I found

That half-way up I met the bloody barrel coming down.

 

Now the barrel broke me shoulder, as to the ground it sped

And when I reached the top, I banged the pulley with me head

I clung on tightly numb with shock, from this almighty blow

And the barrel spilled out half the bricks some 14 floors below.

 

Now when these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor

I then outweighed the barrel and so started down once more

Still clinging tightly to the rope, me body wracked with pain

And half way down I met the bloody barrel once again.

 

Now the force of this collision half way down the office block

Caused multiple abrasions and a nasty state of shock

Still clinging tightly to the rope, I fell towards the ground

And I landed on the broken bricks the barrel had scattered round.

 

I lay there groaning on the ground, I thought I'd past the worst

But the barrel hit the pulley wheel and then the bottom burst

A shower of bricks rained down on me, I didn't have a hope

As I lay there bleeding on the ground I let go of the bloody rope.

 

Now, the barrel then being heavier, it started down once more

It landed right across me as I lay there on the floor

It broke three ribs and my left arm and I can only say

I hope you'll understand why Murphy's not at work today.

 

Another urban myth!!

 

Rich

didnt someone like Les Dawson do this one?

lmfao! Thought it was real too! Can't believe you shattered my illusions rich!

Dave

If you want to know where it really came from, google "Hoffnung bricklayer". Recorded by one of Britain's best humorists at a speech in 1958, it has been traced back to 1937... http://www.dickalba.demon.co.uk/happy/12_dec/1204s.htm

If you watch the discovery channel you wil know about the show mythbusters and they tried the experiment with bricks and barrel and it was unsucsessful until they removed almost all the barrel rings.....no its not true!

The original was recorded live at a oxford university union dinner by I believe a chap called Hoffman in the sixties who was a well known after dinner speaker. There are other goodies on the record in the same speech, when he was discribing car insurance claims and why it was not their fault. Like the tree seemed to have jumped out into the road,or the cow was not obeying the highway code!.

 

Stuart