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The language of Women!

 

FINE

This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a

woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments

 

FIVE MINUTES

This is half an hour. Do not bring this up as an issue. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the rubbish, so it's an even trade

 

NOTHING

This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn

you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument

that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"

 

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)

This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"

 

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)

This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools

off

 

LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

 

SOFT SIGH

Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content

 

THAT'S OKAY

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with

the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."

 

GO AHEAD

At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble

 

PLEASE DO

This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing

whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and

you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"

 

THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome

 

THANKS A LOT

This is much different from "Thanks". A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"

 

 

HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY

 

All you have to do is to be:

 

1. a friend

2. a companion

3. a lover

4. a brother

5. a father figure

6. a teacher

7. an educator

8. a cook

9. a gardener

10. a carpenter

11. a driver

12. an engineer

13. a mechanic

14. an interior decorator

15. a stylist

16. a sex therapist

17. a gynaecologist/obstetrician

18. a psychologist

19. a psychiatrist

20. a therapist

21. a good father

22. a gentleman

23. well organized

24. tidy

25. very clean

26. athletic

27. affectionate

28. affable

29. attentive

30. ambitious

31. amenable

32. articulate

33. bold

34. brave

35. creative

36. courageous

37. complimentary

38. capable

39. decisive

40. intelligent

41. imaginative

42. interesting

43. prudent

44. patient

45. polite

46. passionate

47. respectful

48. sweet

49. strong

50. skilful

51. supportive

52. sympathetic

53. tolerant

54. understanding

55. someone who loves shopping

56. someone who doesn't make problems

57. someone who never looks at other women

58. very rich

 

AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST PAY ATTENTION TO MAKE SURE YOU:

 

59. are neither jealous nor disinterested

60. get on well with her family, but don't spend more time with them

than

with her

61. give her her space, but show interest and concern in where she goes

 

ABOVE ALL IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO:

 

62. Not forget the dates of:

* anniversaries (wedding, engagement, first date...)

* graduation

* birthday

* menstruation

Featured Replies

makes me think of those times when I spoilt her with massages by the pool under the sun.. building my biceps with those shopping bags.. morning breakfast surprise in the bed... late nite supper with all those munchies in front of a soppy drama.. answered all her questions from a Woman's magazine and get rated after that.. shared a weed and had to be the perfect listener for her lastest gossips and tales (always got distracted anyway)... 9/10 CDs in my CD changer were her fav discs...blah blah blah...(notice every thing was described in past tense) now she complains that I service my Zed more than I service her :D

HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY

 

All you have to do is to be:

 

1. a friend

2. a companion

3. a lover

4. a brother

5. a father figure

6. a teacher

7. an educator

8. a cook

9. a gardener

10. a carpenter

11. a driver

12. an engineer

13. a mechanic

14. an interior decorator

15. a stylist

16. a sex therapist

17. a gynaecologist/obstetrician

18. a psychologist

19. a psychiatrist

20. a therapist

21. a good father

22. a gentleman

23. well organized

24. tidy

25. very clean

26. athletic

27. affectionate

28. affable

29. attentive

30. ambitious

31. amenable

32. articulate

33. bold

34. brave

35. creative

36. courageous

37. complimentary

38. capable

39. decisive

40. intelligent

41. imaginative

42. interesting

43. prudent

44. patient

45. polite

46. passionate

47. respectful

48. sweet

49. strong

50. skilful

51. supportive

52. sympathetic

53. tolerant

54. understanding

55. someone who loves shopping

56. someone who doesn't make problems

57. someone who never looks at other women

58. very rich

 

Firstly, I'd like to say bollards to the above (in relation to me, anyway :rolleyes: ) but but as an adjunct to that...

 

How to make a Man happy

 

Show up naked

Bring beer.

 

 

 

...is the other half of the list above. :D

Originally posted by Ajay

Firstly, I'd like to say bollards to the above (in relation to me, anyway :rolleyes: ) but but as an adjunct to that...

 

How to make a Man happy

 

Show up naked

Bring beer.

 

 

 

...is the other half of the list above. :D

 

 

yuh and most of the time you don't even need to do the first thing lol

LOL :D

 

 

 

Mmmmmm....

 

Beer :p

Originally posted by beermonster

argh dont mention beer,

 

im never drinking again

 

these keys are clicking too loud on my keyboard

 

LOL ... Looks like you'll be needing a new screen name then!;) ;)

Well as a tee-totaller, if any naked women want to drop beer round yours and then turn up at mine, I am totally cool with that

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