clarkmagpie

i must admit im a big fan of the 166, keep thinking about getting one as daily drive. a 5 series makes much more sense really but cant help falling for the alfa's charms...and that interiour is simply gorgeous

holy hell...somebody up above is looking out for you big styleee! sorry bout the car but main thing is nobody died in that one

chicken tikka madras, plain pilau rice and keema naan followed by lager lager and more lager

so how do you actually up the boost? im running standard boost and fancy a little increase

r888's awesome not the best in the wet though lol

oh and loose the text speak huh ;)

iv had £70 in mine at that was a while ago, with 102.9 a litre at the local i dread to think how much it would cost to fill her up now :(

manual conversion time...

no not me matey... havent been out in the car for a few weeks

on friday heading north on m6 around 5.30pm high level spoiler and a light purple colour we were heading other way so just caught a quick glimpse!

write next to it 'NO' then further down the road write 'bollards' infront of somebody elses parking spot... problem solved

would prefer a couple of sausage sandwiches, not a fan of beans, eggs or tomato!

terrorist attack on airport

dont know why people buy cheap rubber, its the only thing holding you on the road

that was sat afternoon!

cant see anyone defending this if went up on barryboys!

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. __________________________________________________ _______ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?' ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo? WITNESS: We both do. ATTORNEY: Voodoo? WITNESS: We do. ATTORNEY: You do? WITNESS: Yes, voodoo. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one. _______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitt'in me? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Uh.... I was gett'in laid! ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Are you shitt'in me? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Guess. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to re-phrase that? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him! ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And the best for last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

my little lady thought that deer lived under ground. she is a bloody teacher!!! oh good god :(

take a bow boys and girls.

Wife said to me, i dont like the car anymore "i want something that can go 0-130 in 3seconds", so i bought the fat cow a set of bathroom scales! :x: :wack: :rofl:

little white mg metro, passed down from my mum!

its an amazing drivers road too, hair pins and long open stretches, the amount of motorbikes i have hunted down there lol brilliant!!

cant go wrong at £100, doesnt look to shabby either

after a heavy night on the piss i walked out on the missus lastnight :rant: had a big scrap in the local and she stormed off so thought id walk to parents (3mile or so away). got 1/2 way down the village and she pulls up in car begging me home, wouldnt leave me alone :headvswal so i kicked door mirrors off the car :( before storming off. managed to text her something about a ditch so she phoned me dad and he came looking for me :wack: got dropped off home just now, feel shite and have a new mirror to sort. fooking drink

:duffer: your prize good sir :D