bigmincey

Mathematical computation I suppose, but how ?? http://www.quizyourprofile.com/guessyournumber.swf Alan...............

Whoops !!:slap: Sorry fella, not a doggy person. Still a nice looking pup tho !:) Alan..........

Already been said, but will say it again !! Many happy returns guys !!!! Alan.

That is very well thought out mate, take a bow !:bow: Always nice to see a well planned, and executed project. So much better than a boot full of MDF, covered in cheap material !:smw: If its ok with you, I would like to post your work on another forum ? Non Zed Related, but the guys are open-minded as to marque. Alan................

Not a big fan of Boxers, but, fook me gently with the blunt end of a ragmans trumpet, Riddick looks kinda sad and cool at the same time !:confused: Not sad, should have said vulnerable ? Dunno Al, but this house all went, AAwww !!:) Cracking looking dog mate, give him a slipper from me !:) Alan.............

My mate has one of these. He got it chipped and lowered, and it is a quick car. His everyday hack. http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/VW-BORA-SE-TDI-2000-W-REG-BLACK_W0QQitemZ160327075396QQcmdZViewItemQQptZAutomobiles_UK?hash=item160327075396&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=66%3A2%7C65%3A7%7C39%3A1%7C240%3A1318 Alan............

Aw shucks !!:o:o Alan...........

Mmm, Carlsberg, 440ml cans, 15, for £6.99 from Tesco last week ? Bit of a tight arse perhaps ?? No matter, you look fine Al. I am drinking Theakstons Old Peculiar, 6 foot to the top of me baldy bit, and lost a stone in weight since my daughter left at the end of February. Now tip the scales at 15st, 1lb. Alan................

Sorry mate, no idea !:smw: Suzannah Hoffs, hell yeah. Alan.......

I havent posted this in jokes coz it aint really a joke, more a comical observation ! Which you prefer, dogs or cats ? I love both, but must go on the cats side ! Here we have a sneak peek at a dogs diary, and a cats diary ! Excerpts from a Dog`s Diary. .. 8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing! 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing! 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing! 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing! 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing! 6:00 pm - Oooh, Bath . Bummer. 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing! 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing! 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing! Excerpts from a Cat's Diary. .. Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. B@st@rds. There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now................. :rofl:Alan......................

Aye, my thoughts as well. Dont need the hassle, would rather get on and be my usual placid self. Thing is, her eldest boy, aged 8 has been kinda friendly towards me. Always about when I do jobs to the Ram, or my daughters car and looks a wee bit sad ? Asks if he can help... Nice kid, actually feel sorry for him. Must be getting soft, eh ? Why is his mother such a skank ? This world sucks sometimes, dont it ? Only so much of Britney and Beyonce I can take at 1.30am tho !! Alan....................

Dunno, Only on my 4th can and dont drink wine ? Do however drink whisky, so later on we will see !!

Any suggestions here folks ? I have a problem with a neighbour. She is a **** to put it in a nutshell. Her ex-husband was always a bit of a local character, wrong crowd, drugs etc Anyhows, my wifes crowd can be even worse, if you get my drift ?? Irish Romany descent. They think the sun shines out my arse and would do owt for the missus, and me. Should I go down the proper avenue, ie, Anti-Social task force, Council etc Or just say to the eldest brother in law ? He is a wee bit aggresive, to say the least ! He dont say much, believing that actions speak louder than words ! I just want the neighbour to be quiet after midnight and stop the annoying niggles, dont want her like Boxing Helena !! Alan...........

Dry, but bitter cold up here ! Alan...........

Ok, Just had one and done my usual ! Hollowed out a french stick and stuck it inside ! Verdict ? Tastes nowt like a kebab, but in a typical "special" way, its allright ! Alan......

THIS IS A GOOD AND SIMPLE REASONING!! A mechanic was removing a cylinder-head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop. The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?" The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I make $39,675 a year and you get the really big bucks ($1,695,759) when you and I are doing basically the same work?" The cardiologist paused, smiled and leaned over, then whispered to the mechanic... "Try doing it with the engine running." Alan..............

Dinae be such a woos !! Cobblers to everyone else ! Its your car and your choice !! If other folks dont like em, tough titty !! They arent paying for them !! IMHO, the darker red, Maroon, as has been stated will work, and then some. Dont be a sheep mate, be the shepherd !! Just my humble 2p`s worth tho ! Alan.........

LOL, You need a pussy awareness course !:) We have always had cats, and they can be surprisingly feisty when they take a mad turn ! My mate has 2 Doberman`s and he is bricking it in our house !! His dogs are sane, where he reckons our cats are the spawn of Satan, only hungrier !! Its funny how an experience when you are young, can prevail into your older life. I was feeding a Penguin at Edinburgh Zoo when I was a nipper and this Penguin took fish from every body but me. Big ******* bit me and drew blood !:eek: I have never ate a Penguin biscuit since then, or watched Happy Feet, the movie !:rofl: But, we digress, Cracking wee kitten Si, make sure she is micro chipped mate !:) Alan............

Were you a mouse in a previous life ??;) lol She looks a wee stoater Si !:cool: Alan..............

Actually a big fan of Rammstein !! This video for "Links 234" is awesome !! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6XrKN16cuc Alan.

As they say in the Muller Rice advert. What happens when you take 50% Rammstein, the German rock gods, throw in a fair slice of Winnie the Pooh, the fat bear cartoony guy, and a wee tadge of Fantazia, Walt Disney on his Acid and elephant era ?? Erm, This !! Ich Will. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCEZ2m9o7vc&feature=related Alan.........................

Tis all right for me matey ?? Alan.............

Dunno mate, but I actually laughed out loud at them !;) Alan..............

It has been rumoured that Nestle/Cadbury are about to merge ? . . . . . . . . . . Sincerely hope not !! . . . . . . . . . Otherwise, this is the chocolate bars of the future !!!! . . . . . . . . Alan................

It has been reported the Fabio Aurelio was arrested upon leaving Old Trafford for theft. it appears that as he was boarding the Liverpool coach he was found to still have Christiano Ronaldo in his pocket. Manchester United were releaved to have him returned as the had previously reported him missing the Greater Manchester Police 2 minutes after scoring their consolation goal from the penalty spot. Dame Alice Ferguson has now vowed to give up all alcohol as he told reporters after the match them Arbeloa looked just like Sami Hyypia and thought the drink was affecting his eyesight There are also reports of a drunken Scotsman wandering around Old Trafford tonight in tears. When asked what had happened he declared he had been mugged during the early hours of the afternoon. Police are looking for a number of accessories to the crime. They are asking for a Mr Bells, Mr Jamiesons , Glen Fidek, Glen Moranjie, and Napoleon turn themselves in for interview. we should,nt really slag fergy off afterall he does a lot of charity work. i got myself a red nose last week. fergy has had his for years. In other news: Manchester United fans have registered complaints with trading standards over 'defender' Nemanja Vidic. After witnessing Vidic themselves earlier in the day many complained the goods were not as described and so unfit for purpose. One trading standards officer commented: "We've not seen such a misleading description since Bobby Robson called Titus Bramble a colossus". Alan............