Dear Technical Support,
> >
> >18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2,
> >which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are
> >apparently conflicts between these two products and the only
> >solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned
> >off.
> >
> >To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several
> >other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and
> >Playboy 6.9. Successive versions of GirlFriend proved no better.
> >
> >I tried a shareware program, Slapper
>2.1, but it had many bugs and
> >left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for
> >several weeks. Eventually, I tried to run GirlFriend 1.2 and
> >Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these
> >two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my
> >hardware.
> >
> >I eventually upgraded to Fiancée 1.0, only to discover that this
> >product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0
> >tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled
> >with FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse2005.
> >
> >Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be
> >very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were
> >automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted.
> >They then resurfaced months later when I had
>forgotten about them.
> >Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter,
> >and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Multi-Whinge. These
> >latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what
> >the problem is.
> >
> >Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly,
> >requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express
> >which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Also, when Wife 1.0
> >attaches itself to my Saab 93 Convertible hard drive, it often
> >crashes.
> >
> >Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw,
> >which can't be turned off.
> >
> >Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2005, but there could
> >be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if
> >Wife 1.0 detects Mistress
>2005, it tends to delete all of your Money
> >before uninstalling itself.
> >Dear Tech Support:
> >
> >Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
> >distinct slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the
> >Flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under
> >Boyfriend 5.0.
> >
> >In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs,
> >such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed
> >undesirable programs such as: Football 5.0, Rugby 4.3 and Cricket
> >3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs; it simply crashes the system.
> >I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail.
> >What can I do?
> >
> >Signed,
> >Desperate
> >------------------
> >
> >Dear Desperate:
> >
> >First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0
>is an Entertainment Package, while
> >Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Try entering the command:
> >C:/I-THOUGHT-YOU-LOVED-ME to download Tears 6.2, which should
> >automatically install Guilt 3.0. If that application works as
> >designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications
> >Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above
> >application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5,
> >Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.
> >
> >WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will create Snoring
> >Loudly.
> >
> >CAUTION: Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law. This is not
> >a supported application and will crash Husband 1.0.
> >
> >
> >
> >In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
> >memory and cannot learn new
>applications quickly. You might consider
> >buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I
> >personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.
> >
> >
> >
> >Good Luck,Tech Support
> >
> >------------------
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