.......so here's something to cheer everyone up

 

Don't Fart in Bed

 

This is a story about a couple who had been happily

married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the

husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The

noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and

make her gasp for

air.

Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off

because

it

was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was

perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned

that

one

day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to

rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the

turkey

for

dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where

she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the

spare

parts

and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went

upstairs

where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed

covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and

emptied

the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Some time later she heard

her

husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood

curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the

bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the

floor

laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she

had gotten him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her

husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of

horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the

matter. He said, "Honey,

you

were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to

you."

"What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that

one

day

I

would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But

by

the

grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got

most

of them back in."

 

CheerZ,

 

Andy

Lovely - it'll take me a week to get that image out of my head!

YUK!

 

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