cut a long story short it was allmy fault i worked 7 days and she wanted to move in with me and i just kept delaying it.

 

shes also a different religion which didnt help, we were planning to marry end of next year.

 

 

miss her alot.:cry:

just let the air settle mate, i'm sure all will be well in the end

sorry to hear mate...can sympathise with you! Me and mine are calling it quits next weekend - same reason...religion/culture, etc...not a great feeling after 3yrs! Not looking forward to it at all...:cry:

 

Hopefully time will sort us both out eh!

cut a long story short it was allmy fault i worked 7 days and she wanted to move in with me and i just kept delaying it.

 

shes also a different religion which didnt help, we were planning to marry end of next year.

 

 

miss her alot.:cry:

 

 

I know how you feel.... same happened to me last week too :cry:

 

6 years, 2 kids and also planning on marrying... again my fault.... i worked away in London all week and only went home of the weekends..... wanted to get a place down here together but 7 months later we hadn't, Again long story short..... i miss her and the kids too :cry:

 

Neil

im soory and i dont mean to sound harsh but whats religon and culture got to do with loving someone ,

 

it doesnt matter what colour , religon , culture or anything else if you love someone you should both work at it no matter what other people think or say ,

 

like i said i dont mean to sound ignorant to peoples feelings :)

maybe there not the ones for you if you have to work at it so hard :)

 

I'm afraid its a little more complicated that than. I'm not sure about Indian ZX's reasons although I guess they are the same/similar but 'the family' is of the highest importance in asian families and marrying outside the circle often means you will lose the support of your family.

 

For me, it wasn't hard work at all but in the end both me and missus decided it would be best in the long-run for us to go our separate ways due to religion and culture. I think its a concept that would be very difficult to understand in the West. Even for me, being born and raised here, it is very confusing sometimes, as my ideas conflict but I can see the logic behind it...I just hope I am doing the right thing but I guess that's life! You never really know if you are!

everyone seems to be breaking up :confused:

 

sorry to hear it though, things happen for a reason .... chin up xx

Me too :(4 years but no kids thankfully.Not been happy for quite a few months and thought it was just a phase i was going through but eventually decided it was time to call it a day.Were still living in the same house which is awkward as i'm having to buy here out (£50 grand and my 6 month old civic type R :headvswal:headvswal ) going to take 6 to 8 weeks to sort the money out so there are going to be fireworks :rofl::rofl: Chin up everyone :duffer::duffer:

I am amazed how you guys open up and share your feelings with us, most men wouldnt dare open up. That just shows what type of nice guys you are and I am sure there will be someone more suited out there for you all. Chin up, all will get easier.:)

I split up with my ex about 6 years ago and we have 2 kids together she's now married with another 2 kids, but 6 years on and i'm in a good relationship with someone i love more than anything, and we have a 2 year old son we've been together for 5 3/4 years and we've had our ups and downs but nothing we cant work at. we plan to get married in the next few years, (when we can afford it), so take it from experience guys, things do get better with time, its very hard to begin with but like said chin up, you'll be fine, afterall if any of you need anything you have us nutballs to keep you happy :rofl:

 

all the best to you all, Chris.

my girl was christian-catholic, even though it didnt matter at first as all we wanted was to see if we would last( we both thought we woudnt). at first my paerents didnt mind i took her to my house and used to go to hers alot, we went to her parents sometimes too. then after about 2years things started changing, like family, either that or we started to get more serious. we would start talking about marriage and kids, it was a really serious relationship so much infact, id hardly go out with my friends and vice versa, we would close all outsiders e.g. friends etc cus all we wanted was to spend time with eachother, i then found a part time job where i could use the money to pay off debts. she kept on saying that she wants me to move in with her(she had her own house) or move to a new house, i said to her let me pay my debts and try to save up for a house, i also wanted to get a promotion at work.

 

after a couple of months she started to get more and more angry and spending 1 day a week wasnt enough.

 

i had a opportunity at work to get a promotion for which i would be required to study day in day out for a month, i used all my holidays at my part time job to study, and this she hated.

 

i finally managed to get a promotion after a series of interviews. now were broken up as she said as i keep on saying i dont want to move yet she doesnt want to wait 2 years for me.

 

she was quite insecure too as she used to keep thinking i would move on after.

 

now she keeps calling me but i dont want to answer. she just wants to be friends but im not interested in just being friends, i guess its time to move on.

 

4 years ago i was in alot of debt, had a shit job,shit car and had a gf,

now i got a promotion, have no debt and no girlfriend and a nice car.

 

 

hope i hace made sense.

sounds like you were trying to better your life (with work and studying) and she was just stepping in the way, jealousy is a really shit thing in relationships and if she couldnt support you and help you then she isn't worth it.

 

imo your other half should stand by your side and support what you want to do with your life not be all selfish and want what they want only.

 

I hate selfish people with a passion.... want what they want, when they want it and how they want it. FFS you have your own life to lead too

well by the sounds of it she aint the 1 for you, if she cant be bothered to wait for you then its her loss, to me it sounds like you wanted to provide her with a better standard of living but she obviously cant understand that.

It does sound like maybe she wasn't the right one for you mate...either that or she needs time to adjust to you wanting to better yourself? I'm sure in time you will be able to be friends again....fingers crossed!

ab

Truth be known, Lou deserved better. How did I repay her for devoting her life to me for 6 years and giving me 2 beautiful daughters?? I lied and cheated on her and she took me back and forgave me each and every time. I promised her things but never came through with them, I even told her to have an abortion when she fell with our 2nd daughter cos I was shacked up with another woman at the time. Then last week, I used a mistake she made to end it with her because I am too guttless to admit to her that once again my head has been turned by a pretty face.

Afterall, a cheaters mantra is 'deny, deny, deny!' and I live for the challenge, chase and conquest! I was a cake eater while I was able to get away with it but when I realised I couldn't get away with it anymore I destroyed my family (and her in the process) beacause I DONT WANT to change what I do or who I am. This is the real me.

 

 

 

:shock: well, im absolutely gobsmacked with that one. even though i dont agree with what youve done, or still doing (no offence meant). that takes some bottle to admit that on an open forum :bow:

Truth be known, Lou deserved better. How did I repay her for devoting her life to me for 6 years and giving me 2 beautiful daughters?? I lied and cheated on her and she took me back and forgave me each and every time. I promised her things but never came through with them, I even told her to have an abortion when she fell with our 2nd daughter cos I was shacked up with another woman at the time. Then last week, I used a mistake she made to end it with her because I am too guttless to admit to her that once again my head has been turned by a pretty face.

Afterall, a cheaters mantra is 'deny, deny, deny!' and I live for the challenge, chase and conquest! I was a cake eater while I was able to get away with it but when I realised I couldn't get away with it anymore I destroyed my family (and her in the process) beacause I DONT WANT to change what I do or who I am. This is the real me.

 

 

Shocker to admit that, but I guess we are all different.

I'm kinda the opposite, Since I first started dating many moons ago, I've always been a one woman man. Never been unfaithful. Now I'm married and have a beautiful daughter I couldn't even bare the thought of loosing my wife and daughter. I guess some peoples passion for sex with a beautiful woman is stronger than thier passion for thier family life. I've never understood this and probably never will, but each to thier own. If it makes you happy then that's what you gotta do.

I'm afraid its a little more complicated that than. I'm not sure about Indian ZX's reasons although I guess they are the same/similar but 'the family' is of the highest importance in asian families and marrying outside the circle often means you will lose the support of your family.

 

For me, it wasn't hard work at all but in the end both me and missus decided it would be best in the long-run for us to go our separate ways due to religion and culture. I think its a concept that would be very difficult to understand in the West. Even for me, being born and raised here, it is very confusing sometimes, as my ideas conflict but I can see the logic behind it...I just hope I am doing the right thing but I guess that's life! You never really know if you are!

 

ahh yeh i can understand where your coming from even though i find it confusing about some religons but my close asian friends try explaining things to me , but the most important thing is family,:)

 

Hope everything works out for both you guys,

snowygt my man, how old are you?

my girl was christian-catholic, even though it didnt matter at first as all we wanted was to see if we would last( we both thought we woudnt). at first my paerents didnt mind i took her to my house and used to go to hers alot, we went to her parents sometimes too. then after about 2years things started changing, like family, either that or we started to get more serious. we would start talking about marriage and kids, it was a really serious relationship so much infact, id hardly go out with my friends and vice versa, we would close all outsiders e.g. friends etc cus all we wanted was to spend time with eachother, i then found a part time job where i could use the money to pay off debts. she kept on saying that she wants me to move in with her(she had her own house) or move to a new house, i said to her let me pay my debts and try to save up for a house, i also wanted to get a promotion at work.

 

after a couple of months she started to get more and more angry and spending 1 day a week wasnt enough.

 

i had a opportunity at work to get a promotion for which i would be required to study day in day out for a month, i used all my holidays at my part time job to study, and this she hated.

 

i finally managed to get a promotion after a series of interviews. now were broken up as she said as i keep on saying i dont want to move yet she doesnt want to wait 2 years for me.

 

she was quite insecure too as she used to keep thinking i would move on after.

 

now she keeps calling me but i dont want to answer. she just wants to be friends but im not interested in just being friends, i guess its time to move on.

 

4 years ago i was in alot of debt, had a shit job,shit car and had a gf,

now i got a promotion, have no debt and no girlfriend and a nice car.

 

 

hope i hace made sense.

 

umm thats a tough one, but maybe she should of been more understanding, the way i see it was you wasnt just bettering your future it might of bettered hers to, with you getting a promotion it would of ment more money coming in to your household :)

TBH if your breaking up seeing each other once a week, your ****ed when you move in together. Sounds like you in an idea situation at the moment, Money, Car, Good Job and no Nagging bargain

ahh yeh i can understand where your coming from even though i find it confusing about some religons but my close asian friends try explaining things to me , but the most important thing is family,:)

 

Hope everything works out for both you guys,

 

Cheers bud...fingers crossed eh! :(

sorry to sound ignorant but can someone answer me this?

 

Why would someone disown their children for falling in love with someone who is not of the same faith?

 

I have never understood that.

sorry to sound ignorant but can someone answer me this?

 

Why would someone disown their children for falling in love with someone who is not of the same faith?

 

I have never understood that.

 

Its to different extremes but its not so much the immediate family that 'disown' you. Wider family and community as a whole tends to distance themselves which is not good, especially in mine/asian communities where family and community are paramount. If you don't understand that last sentence or can't see the sense in it, then no amount of explaining will make it clearer to you. It's just how it is and no amount of claiming 'forget about others and act for yourself' will change how things work in these communities.

 

The rules are simple...play along or risk losing it. The choice is up to the individual but the majority of the time, greater benefit is derived from staying in line....unfortunately....