IS THERE A SANTA CLAUS?

 

 

1. No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

 

 

2. There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

 

 

3. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.

 

This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second; a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

 

 

4. The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized Lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal anoint, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payloadnot even counting the weight of the sleigh to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

 

5. 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy, Per second each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

 

In conclusion: If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

 

 

 

 

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Doh!!

 

Flying Reindeers DON'T BURN.........

YOU BASTARD!! But huh, answer this one, who puts my presents under my tree, i'm 29 years old married with one child (under 2 yrs old and having good stair gates one at the top and bottom), own a house with good doors windows all with locks, and my parents are dead!! EXPLAIN THAT ONE SMART ARSE!! so there is a santa NER NER .!.

 

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Originally posted by stuie.buckminster:

YOU BASTARD!! But huh, answer this one, who puts my presents under my tree, i'm 29 years old married with one child (under 2 yrs old and having good stair gates one at the top and bottom), own a house with good doors windows all with locks, and my parents are dead!! EXPLAIN THAT ONE SMART ARSE!! so there is a santa NER NER .!.

 

LMFAO

 

Hey don't flame the messenger Bro!!!

 

However the scientific evidence is heavily stacked against Santa mate, also the fact that in our household when I was about 9 Santa crept quietly out of my Mum & Dads bedroom...with a pair of extra large Y-fronts on and a beer gut with two Star Wars pillow cases full of pressies and put them at the bottom of our bunk beds!!! LMFAO

 

Now either Santa has snuk in for a quick legover with me Ma or that was me old man! Also, them pillow cases were mine and me Bros so that would make Santa a thieving git!!! ROFL

 

Face it mate, the truth is always out there etc.

 

 

 

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I like the way parents use the ultimate get out clause when answering difficult questions about santa.

 

KID. How does santa get in?

MUM. he comes down the chimney

KID. but we dont have a chimney

MUM. he uses the window.

KID. well how does he does he get around all the world

MUM. cos he has fast reindeer

KID. well how does he fit all the presents on his sleigh?

MUM. cos he has magic powers

 

and any further questions get the 'magic powers' reply

pah...cop out, I wanted answers!!

 

Paul

 

did you have a calculater for all that m8?

come on tell us the truth,santa is there in sunny wales havin his summer holiday with you funny that you have just got ya car back.funny how ya car is red and you love animals

foooooooook guys timmy turbo is father chrismas!!!!!!

wondered why ya kept saying to me i can sit on ya knee if i want,and there was me thinking you were a swinger?

LMFAO JAY