They say a swan can break your arm. And they are a large, aggresive bird.

 

What weaponry would you want to attack one with little / no fear of loosing?

a chieftan tank

uzi 9mm and a large stick :rofl:

dont think anyone has actually had there arm broken by a swan. only aggresive if you pi55 them off, why do you ask???

yeah if you call em mallards they get well testy and can break your arm so dont take the piss

Wouldn`t need a weapon. I`d be on it like a nun sandwich. They call me the Northern Bullet.

If I had to have a weapon it would be the broom for self defence. But yeah I'd never attack one if they can have yer arm off.

id just pretend to be its friend, get to know it a bit, take it out have a few stella then when its all relaxed and happy in my company (and maybe slightly drunk)

 

bam, whack it from behind with a shovel, then stove its head in with my boot

I'd have a shitty stick, so i could poke him in the eye. ;)

im so glad you said bam , thought it was gonna be wham, and tie it up in a gimp outfit and give it a good seeing to

dont think anyone has actually had there arm broken by a swan. only aggresive if you pi55 them off, why do you ask???

 

I think one's been seeing my Mrs behind my back. :smash:

id just pretend to be its friend, get to know it a bit, take it out have a few stella then when its all relaxed and happy in my company (and maybe slightly drunk)

 

bam, whack it from behind with a shovel, then stove its head in with my boot

 

 

I did that with Kerry McFadden, then drover her around in the boot of my Sierra and she gave blokes tit ****s for a ciggy.

I did that with Kerry McFadden, then drover her around in the boot of my Sierra and she gave blokes tit ****s for a ciggy.

youdidnt bring her round mine lol

youdidnt bring her round mine lol

 

 

She said it'd have to be a joint to do you. :p

A cross bow with flaming bolts... if it could have your arm off you dont wannaget too close, or a toma hawk cruse missile! Was in San diago in 99 doing the first live firing from a submarine, awsome bit of kit, accurate with in 30cm upto 1500 miles!

id have an ostrich...bigger and harder.

that would batter a swan pretty easily id have thought

god those things are evil .. i used to get attacked by 2 everytime i went down to my boat.. but they go nuts when ya fire a starting pistol lol

Why on earth would you even put up such a pole. All swans belong to the Queen and it's elligal to harm one in any way. Whats with you guys tonight bored, undersexed and just lost the plot completely ;)

Why on earth would you even put up such a pole. All swans belong to the Queen and it's elligal to harm one in any way. Whats with you guys tonight bored, undersexed and just lost the plot completely ;)

 

all of the above eileen me thinks

You both say that but I think you secretly like the idea of us guys manfuly attacking a swan.

 

It's like probably like something out of a Mills & Boon book to your simple female minds. ;)

 

"Melanie sighed as BantamBunny lifted the broom handle over his head, his masculine chest glinting in the late evening sun. As he bought the broom handle down on its neck her heart gave a little flutter - he WAS 'the one' " etc :rofl:

Do swans belong to the queen? Weird.

Do swans belong to the queen? Weird.

 

 

I think due to historic laws, they do.

 

Only certain cambridge Colleges can legally serve them to eat. But I suspect pikeys do too. :smash:

I think due to historic laws, they do.

 

Only certain cambridge Colleges can legally serve them to eat. But I suspect pikeys do too. :smash:

 

I know someone who shot one (accidently of course). And he ate it....not all of it obviously........ He reckoned it was lovely.

You both say that but I think you secretly like the idea of us guys manfuly attacking a swan.

 

It's like probably like something out of a Mills & Boon book to your simple female minds. ;)

 

"Melanie sighed as BantamBunny lifted the broom handle over his head, his masculine chest glinting in the late evening sun. As he bought the broom handle down on its neck her heart gave a little flutter - he WAS 'the one' " etc :rofl:

Wrong I'd be swinging my trustie trye iron around the head of any fool who'd attached a swan

You both say that but I think you secretly like the idea of us guys manfuly attacking a swan.

 

It's like probably like something out of a Mills & Boon book to your simple female minds. ;)

 

"Melanie sighed as BantamBunny lifted the broom handle over his head, his masculine chest glinting in the late evening sun. As he bought the broom handle down on its neck her heart gave a little flutter - he WAS 'the one' " etc :rofl:

 

 

Are you gay?

 

Just asking as you used bantambunny's name and not your own, are you sure it isnt your heart that would flutter?

I'd use a set of traditional Japanese throwing spanners :smash: :rofl:

but...

the Queen will be having words with you if you touch them :slap: :nono:

 

 

During the Middle Ages, the mute swan was considered to be a valuable commodity and was regularly traded between noblemen. The owners of swans were duty bound to mark their property by way of a succession of unique nicks in the beaks of their birds. It was the duty of the Royal Swanmaster to organise the annual swan-upping, a tradition that survives to this day.

 

The role of swan-upping was to round up unmarked cygnets and once the parentage of the cygnets had been established to the swanmasters satisfaction, the birds could be marked appropriately and returned to the wild. The ceremony exists these days in a largely symbolic form, although as an exercise it is useful in monitoring the condition and number of swans on the Thames.

 

The only two companies that still observe the tradition of owning swans on the Thames are the Worshipful Companies of Vintners and Dyers. The Royal swans are no longer marked, but an unmarked mute swan on the Thames is regarded as belonging to the Queen by default. The Queen still maintains an officially appointed Swan Keeper, and the ceremony still takes place on the Monday of the third week in July.

 

The Queen has a prerogative over all swans in England and Wales. The Swan Keeper also despatches swans all over the world, sent as gifts in the Queens name.

 

Like many ancient English traditions its origins are based on protecting the rights of the rich and powerful. Centuries ago the swan was considered a culinary delight, but owning swans was a privilige initially restricted to the Crown who then extended ownership to two City Livery companies; The Company of Vintners and the Company of Dyers. At one time any unauthorised person found guilty of killing a swan could be sentenced to transportation for seven years and even up to 1895 could receive seven years hard labour.

 

That's your lesson for today! :rofl: