In an Office Block:

 

TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

 

 

In a Laundromat:

 

 

AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT

 

 

GOES OUT

 

 

In a London department store:

 

 

BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

 

 

 

 

 

In an office:

 

 

WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR

 

 

FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

 

 

 

 

 

In an office:

 

 

AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE

 

 

DRAINING BOARD

 

 

 

 

 

Outside a secondhand shop:

 

 

WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR

 

 

WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

 

 

 

 

 

Notice in health food shop window:

 

 

CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

 

 

 

 

 

Spotted in a safari park:

 

 

ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

 

 

 

 

 

Seen during a conference:

 

 

FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE

 

 

1ST FLOOR

 

 

 

 

 

Notice in a farmer's field:

 

 

THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

 

 

 

 

 

Message on a leaflet:

 

 

IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

 

 

 

 

 

On a repair shop door:

 

 

WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T

WORK)

 

:) :)

:bow: :bow: Just what we need mate well done.

Apache... Well done mate..... well done... I bow with envy at your mastermind...

lmao :D its a day of japes and jokes today :D

Yippee for us, just lots of mad silly things

to brighten our day and bring us good cheer

no fussing and fighting, no scatching or biting

but jokes and stories to fill us with glee

see this is the way the forum should be

An actual sign I spotted spotted at the fruit/veg section at a Safeway supermarket outside Washington DC in the late '80s:

 

"Please don't fondle the fruit, ask for Gina"

 

;)

I know this is old.. but stuck in a grassed area..... a siign...

 

 

 

stay off the grass.... well how the fook did it get there in the first place...

i lived very close to (but never visited) jackie's gentleman's executive health spa. it was on the high street above the spar and the sign read "entrance at rear"

An actual sign I spotted spotted at the fruit/veg section at a Safeway supermarket outside Washington DC in the late '80s:

 

"Please don't fondle the fruit, ask for Gina"

 

;)

She must be a game lass :o :x:

 

Here one found on a knife in Japan

KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN

 

Nairobi Zoo Crocodile enclosure

TRESSPASSER WILL BE EATEN

 

Mumbi airport over a Fire Extingusher

IN CASE OF FIRE DO THE NEEDFUL

on a bottle of cough medicine for three year olds,

 

"May cause drowsiness - if affected do not drive or operate heavy machinery"

 

on a bottle of mineral water

 

"Suitable for vegetarians"

 

and my favourite has to be sainsburys salted peanuts

 

"Warning may contain nuts" - you would hope so wouldnt you...

One of the fire extinguishers at my old office had the instructions

 

"Do not hold horn during discharge!"

 

Richard :cool:

One of the fire extinguishers at my old office had the instructions

 

"Do not hold horn during discharge!"

 

Richard :cool:

oh my :x: :rofl: :rofl: