Does anybody have an apprentice under their wing at work ??

I have just been given a young laddie, jeez, he is so thick.

I know we all have to start somewhere and I am all for passing on any knoweledge I may have, but this lad has made it clear that he is not interested. :mac1:

 

Really tight bolt on a 40 tonne trailer shocky, and as we were fitting new shocky`s, remarked to him that we would need the "hot spanner" to loosen the bolt. Hot spanner being the oxy/acetylene burning gear !!

Went to the office to deal with a customer and came back to find my 34mm combination spanner in the vice glowing cherry red !! :eek:

 

Asked him what the fook he was doing, only to be told "you didnt say how hot you wanted the spanner" :mad:

Incidentally, he drives a Nova !!

 

The wife says, "why do you take a drink?" It helps, thats why !!

 

Alan.......

LMFAO!!!

 

D'oh!!

Is he the one off the McDonald's advert?

a mate's lad was sent to find sky hooks :confused: in focus diy while he waited at the till. he came back with a lad who worked there saying "i'm not sure if we sell those what do they look like" :x: the reply was "there about 4"long blue and hang up in the air" n off they went to look again :rofl: :rofl:

He makes the one off the macdonalds advert look intelligent ;)

No brains, just a head full of porridge!!

Sign of the times I'm afraid!-most of em' are too busy texting their mates :mac1: ;)

lol reminds me of when I worked in a neon sign place. we sent the apprentice for a packet of clitoris creams there was a really pretty girl behind the counter an all (he was 15 & didn't know what a clitoris was .. bless.. lol how times have changed in 15yrs tho!)

 

And some blue steam from the butchers :rofl: :rofl:

In defence of your apprentice, he's there to learn , if you chuck presumably industry terms like "hot spanner" to him what's he meant to think, youv'e gotta explain that heat applied to the seizied section with oxy-acetylene will loosen it. Course he drives a Nova, he's on £4.50 p.h., he won't get insured on anything else. From some of the other posts if experienced guys spent more time time passing on their knowledge and less time pissing about maybe our mechanics and british industry in general would be doing better.

In defence of your apprentice, he's there to learn , if you chuck presumably industry terms like "hot spanner" to him what's he meant to think, youv'e gotta explain that heat applied to the seizied section with oxy-acetylene will loosen it. Course he drives a Nova, he's on £4.50 p.h., he won't get insured on anything else. From some of the other posts if experienced guys spent more time time passing on their knowledge and less time pissing about maybe our mechanics and british industry in general would be doing better.

YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS!!!

 

 

 

Its called light hearted humour my friend!

In defence of your apprentice, he's there to learn , if you chuck presumably industry terms like "hot spanner" to him what's he meant to think, youv'e gotta explain that heat applied to the seizied section with oxy-acetylene will loosen it. Course he drives a Nova, he's on £4.50 p.h., he won't get insured on anything else. From some of the other posts if experienced guys spent more time time passing on their knowledge and less time pissing about maybe our mechanics and british industry in general would be doing better.

 

Mr Eisegerwind,

My last laddie is now time served and doing a great job at his trade, mainly thanks to various Journeymen, myself included teaching him. This laddie has made it very clear that when he is 18 he is going to work with his uncle, driving for a living. He has to wait till he is 18 to get on his uncles insurance.

I work on a hours saved bonus system, the more you sweat, the more you get, sort off thing, and I always give my laddie some cash in hand at the end of the week if he does a turn. This lad needs a slap at the end of the week, not cash !! I am there too work, not piss about, and if you can get a laddie interested it does make your life easier.

 

On a more lighter note mr Eisegerwind,

I am glad your sense of humour by-pass was so succesfull ! :x:

 

MantaV8, you are spot on, Always got a mobile stuck in his hands.

 

One of the other apprentices got sent out to the Snap-on van for a new bubble for the spirit level !! :rolleyes:

 

This sort of thing has always existed in the Auto trade and is part & parcel of going through your time! I can remember getting sent to the stores for a long stand! Stood there for ages as well ! :confused:

 

Alan.......

You lot are right, Young lads new to work are just plain Dumb.

You lot are also very lucky cos where I work it's not just the young uns who are thick its the majority!

ever seen an expirenced bloke? lift a 2 tonne weight with a 350kg swl eyebolt!

oh dear

very silly

I gotta say, if I hadn't been working on cars for a while I probably wouldn't know what a 'hot spanner' is either.. Then again, I'd probably have just asked what one is, rather than heating up a spanner (I think I'd be able to see a problem with that idea...)

 

Definitely wouldn't be daft enough to fall for the spirit level bubble, skyhooks, skirting board ladders etc etc though ;) :rofl:

.......

yep been there done that LOL!!

 

we get a load of work experience lads from school come to our powerstation and we have a real laugh sending them to stores :dance:

 

bucket of sparks :dance: long weight :dance: fellopian tubes :dance:

 

the list goes on !!!

Carrying on the txting thing, i went to a well known to our area Tyre and exhaust center a few weeks ago, to have a new exhaust fitted on my "daily driver". The kid who fitted the thing made a 20 min job last nearly an hour! He kept doing a bit(In a very slow,uninterested manor)then dissapearing round the back where the phones were, After about 25 mins of this i went to see wot he was upto, to find him txting his mates! I went and complained in the office, making a big thing of how i was late for work blah, blah.They appologised and knocked a tenner off!..... :)

Bigmincey, quite a relevent one this with regards to where you live....Send the lad down to B&Q to buy "A Tin of TARTAN PAINT" :D :D :D

In the last 3 years we've had 5 attemps with an apprentice, ranging from three days to 2 years, the latter still having to ask what grade of paper to rub down with. Needless to say he no longer works for me.

Why is it that as soon as they find out that they actually have to start at the bottom, sweep the floor, empty the bins etc, they loose interest.

Does a 17 yr old really expect to be let loose on some-ones pride and joy, or even dare I say it one of your 300zx's without knowing the basics.

I thought that what we do would be a dream job for most kids, but I guess its much easier to sit in an air conditioned call centre trying to get people to change their electricity supplier, rather than learning a trade that they can pass on in years to come.

To any-one who does work in a call centre, I'm not knocking what you do, I'm just trying to put my point that before long we are going to run out of tradesmen, where will that leave us?? who will modify your Zeds?

On a lighter note we sent a work experience lad to the body shop over the road for a box of phelopium tubes, he was gone ages so I phoned them up to find out where he was. After the phone rang for ages the secretary answered but could'nt speak for crying with laughter. turns out he was sent to 4 different factories and still came back empty handed.......kids !!!!!

Why is it that as soon as they find out that they actually have to start at the bottom, sweep the floor, empty the bins etc, they loose interest.

 

The majority of kids these days expect everything to be handed to them on a plate I think.. dunno why it is really, I don't remember it being like that when I started work :confused: (I know not all young people are like that, but the majority seem to be)

 

I'm crap at trying to teach people my trade mind (if you can call IT a trade, I suppose you can) - I have pretty much zero tolerance of stupid people :rofl: Ask me the same thing twice and I get really pissed off real quick ;) Usually manage to hold my tongue if the person in question is a customer though :rofl:

Ahh!! apprentices, the workshop would be a boring place without them.

 

specially when theyre dangling from a ramp with a brush shaft through the

sleeves of their overalls.

 

Think I was pretty lucky when I was on the tools, only ever had one idiot

as an apprentice, was going to give him a real hidding one day.

 

I was bleeding the brakes on a van he was pressing the brakes, id crawled under and was trying to bleed the back end couldnt get anything through the wheel cylider tried everything brakes on off, pumping the brake up etc, bleed nipple right out incase it was blocked nope!!! gave up and tried the other side same again through the lot still nothing even tried cracking of the pipe to the load sensing valve still didnt work bout 20 minutes after starting decided enough was enough Id go back to scratch and bleed the master cylinder first, crawled back out from under the van only to find the little shit had dissapeared. Hed frigged off of to the shop as soon as id got under the van

 

Dont know what was worse shouting instructions to fresh air or the fact the little git hadnt asked if i wanted anything :)

Got to agree with wot you,ve all been saying , we,ve had about 15 lads throgh our bodyshop in the last 4 years , only one has turned out to be a good ,

The best one yet was a lad i ended up trying to teach he was on fooking HEROIN and seemed quite proud of the fact WOT A DICK HEAD :xxx:

We get chemistry uni students for a year. Most are the uninterested ones, but one year we got a cracker. She worked her socks off and did really well. This was in an NHS lab. Then, after about 10 months she was preparing to leave when our boss..a silly bitch called Ruth, went to the hospital telephone exchange armed with the phone number of her home and her boyfriend. By interrogating the telephone system she worked out that she had used the department telepone over the year and got Accounts to raise an invoice for £11.60...FFS!!!

 

How mean is that hey!

 

So, I got hold of the invoice and got everyone to bting in the contents of that bottle of change you have in the kitchen and we counted out 1160 p worth of unwrapped pennies, twopennies etc etc. Then we put it all in a big bag and sent it to Accounts.They were NOT amused!!

However, it shows that the bosses can be tw@ts too

Chris

crawled back out from under the van only to find the little shit had dissapeared. Hed frigged off of to the shop as soon as id got under the van

 

Dont know what was worse shouting instructions to fresh air or the fact the little git hadnt asked if i wanted anything :)

 

:rofl: :rofl: That one is a classic :) :bow:

Thanks for all the response guys.

Seriously tho, I am a Coachbuilder by trade, which means on Monday morning you could be changing the woodwork on a customers Morris Minor Traveller and then you are told to leave that job and go to a Lamberet 45ft re-frig trailer and cut out the King-pin and rubbing plate and re-weld etc etc !!

Apart from 4 years working at the Diamond Hanger at Stansted on Aircraft, I have done this since I left school many moons ago. I have seen many apprentices and tradesmen come and go, but I am still pluging away and consider myself a relative die-hard of my (dying) trade.

I of all people realise the importance of good, keen apprentices, but the truth is, they are really hard to get.

Arron jb, Laughed when I read your post ! I can remember getting a clip round the lug for asking the same question too many times ! ;)

Give a lad a clip round the ear nowadays and you would be charged ! :confused:

When I went to the engagement party of my last laddie, his fiance spoke to me and said that he held me in high regard !!! He never ever said that to me.

I was touched.... :cry: Good laddie !!

 

Alan......

Bigmincey, quite a relevent one this with regards to where you live....Send the lad down to B&Q to buy "A Tin of TARTAN PAINT" :D :D :D

 

Tattooman,

One lad was sent to our paint supplier to ask for this. Paint supplier was on the ball and asked him which "clan" of paint, and would he be requiring 2pk for a quick finish or aqua base in case it was too be washed off !! ;)

Also asked him if he wanted the "sporran" to brush in the door checks !

 

Alan..........

On a plus point, took on a chap on his work placement from uni just over a year ago, he learned stuff so quick I was shocked and went back to uni knowing more about several of the topics I tought him that I did!!! he was actually offered 27k and a car to stay but decided it was best to finish his degree! not bad for a 19-20 year old! he's got a bright future ahead of him!

Being one of the younger guys on this forum, I think, I can relate to all your jokes about apprentices!! I grew up in South Africa and after leaving school I started being an appy, as we call them. I worked for this guy and we did general engineering, fitting and turning, lathes, milling machines etc. I too started by sweeping the floor, emptying the bins and being the beloved brew b1tch. Had the joy of searching for a tin of compression, glass hammer, box of sparks too. Must admit I like the sky hook! :bow: Looking back, being an appy was one of the best tiimes of my life, hard work but i learnt so much from my boss.

We need you old buggers to teach the new generation of tradesman, pity the attitude of the newbee isnt how it should be! :xxx:

I thought when I joind the army and became an Air Tech I wouldnt have to go through it all again.... Oh how wrong was I! 'Corporal, go to the stores and fetch a flexi crowbar', 'Yes sergeant'

Now its my turn, mwahahaha!!!!

Long live the appy!!!! :dance: :dance: