Well I can't live without the forum and some of the people on it....

 

So I'm back to let you know that I can really shake it down.....

 

(dances)

 

 

Matty.

 

------------------

 

Bounce...Bounce...Bounce...Bounce...Bounce...Bounce...Bounce... (sorry no sound!) LOL

YAY!! Welcome back Matty

Cool another moron back on the forum

Duffman was getting bored

 

nice to see your still alive m8t

Good 2 have u back Matty.

 

The sigs have been a bit tame recently

 

Tim

What can I say but, It wasn't the same without you ..... (It was better!)

 

LOL

Welcome back Matty!!!

AndyP,

 

That's only cause you don't like to smile...

 

 

Matty.

 

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Bounce...Bounce...Bounce...Bounce...Bounce...Bounce...Bounce... (sorry no sound!) LOL

Good to see you back.

 

Hope Timmy follows too.

Matty,

You cheeky little monkey, just to prove you wrong I'll have to find a good joke to send you .....

Well I couldn't so the wisdom of Swiss Tony will have to suffice instead ....

 

 

MAKING COFFEE

Making a cup of coffee is like making love to a beautiful woman. It's

got to be hot. You've got to take your time. You've got to

stir...gently, and firmly. You've got to grind your beans until they

squeak. Then you put in the milk.

 

LAYING A CARPET

Laying a carpet is... very much like making love to a beautiful woman.

You check the dimensions, lay her out on the floor, pin her down, nail

her, then walk all over her. If you're adventurous - like me - you might

like to try an underlay.

 

HANGING WALLPAPER

Well, hanging wallpaper is also very much like making love to a

beautiful woman. Clean all the relevant surfaces, spread her out on the

table, cover her with paste, and stick her up. Then you clean your

brush, light your pipe, stand back and admire your handiwork.

 

PUTTING UP A TENT

Putting up a tent, is... very much like making love to a beautiful

woman. You rent her, unzip the door, put up your pole an'... slip in to

the old bag.

 

WASHING A CAR

Washing a car, is very much like making love to a beautiful woman.

You've got to caress the bodywork. Breathe softly and gently and give

every inch of it your loving attention and make sure you've got a nice

wet sponge.

 

BEING IN THERAPY

Yes, having therapy is very much like making love to a beautiful woman.

You get on the couch, string 'em along with some half-lies and evasions,

probe some deep dark holes, and then hand over all your money.

 

BEING IN A CRASH

Going to the brink of death and back, in a nine car pile-up on a dual

carriage-way, is... very much like making love to a beautiful woman.

First of all, brace yourself, hold on tight - particularly if it's a

rear-ender. And pray you make contact with her twin airbags as soon as

possible.

 

GOING FISHING

Going fishing was very much like making love to a beautiful woman. First

of all, clean and inspect your tackle, carefully pull back your rod

cover, and remove any dirt or gunge that may have built up whilst not in

use. Then, extend your rod to its full length, and check that there are

no kinks or any wear. Particularly at the base, where the grip is

usually applied. Make sure you've got a decent float, the appropriate

bait, and that there's plenty of shot in your bag.

LMFAO Andy Matty - I was beginning to think you were never coming back But you're here now

 

CheerZ,

 

A much happier Andy