A poor farmer has three sheep and one old Ram. As the three sheep are not conceiving the farmer calls in the vet!

 

Well, you have three options says the vet,a new ram or artificial insemination. "sounds too costly" said the farmer, "but you said three options!"

 

"Yes," said the vet, "do it yourself."

 

The farmer was aghast

 

"How will i know if it works?"

 

"Well," said the vet "if they roll around in the mud the morning after you have made love to them then they are not pregnant, however if they roll around in the Hay, they are pregnant."

 

So, the next day the farmer takes the three sheep in his land rover and does the business.

 

Next morning he calls to his wife "What are the sheep doing love?"

 

"They are rolling in the mud Jack."

 

So with a heavy heart he takes the three sheep in his land rover and once again does the business.

 

Next moring "What are the sheep doing love"

 

Suspiciuosly she says "They are rolling in the mud jack."

 

By now exhausted he puts the sheep in to the land rover and does the business.

 

Next morning "What are the sheep doing love?"

 

"Well this is very strange," she answers. "Two of them are in the back of the Land Rover and the other one is pipping the horn!!"

 

-------------------------------------------

 

Well, you should expect it by now! LOL!

 

Joker Z

;-)

 

Two Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a

motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker

stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift. He tells

them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls but

will take a look at the bike for them.

 

He tries everything he knows but is unable to repair it. Time is

getting on now and he's late for his delivery so he tells the scousers

he has to leave. "R hey lad" they say "gissa lift". The trucker once again

explains that he has no room as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls. The

scousers put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit in the back

will he take them and he agrees. They manage to squeeze themselves and their

motorbike into the back of the wagon so the driver shuts the doors and gets

off on his way.

 

By this time he is really late and so puts his foot down. Sure

enough PC Plod of Greater Manchester Police pulls him up for speeding.

The good officer asks the driver what he is carrying to which he replies

Scouse Eggs.

 

The policeman obviously doesn't believe this so wants to take a look. He

opens the back door and quickly shuts it and locks it. He gets onto his

radio and calls for immediate backup from as many officers as possible. The

dispatcher asks what emergency he has that requires so many officers. "I've

got a wagon with 20,000 Scouse eggs in it - 2 have already hatched and the

bastards have managed to nick a motorbike already".

ROFL!

 

I like it...alot!