You'd better read this:

 

Stereotyping your drinking partner - Find Your Type

 

IF WOMEN DRINK:

Drink: Beer.

Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.

Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

 

Drink: Blender drinks with umbrella.

Personality: Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass.

Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

 

Drink: Mixed drinks - no umbrellas

Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants.

Approach: If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.

 

Drink: Wine (bottled not 4 litre cask)

Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.

Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.

 

Drink: Bacardi Breezer, Smirnoff ice, Vodka mule, etc

Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has absolutely no clue.

Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...and you're in.

 

Drink: Baileys.

Personality: Annoying voice, bit of a tart.

Approach: Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.

 

Drink: Shorts (Vodka, Aftershock etc.).

Personality: Hanging with male pals or looking to get drunk...and naked.

Approach: Easiest hit in the pub. Nothing to do but wait.

 

Drink: Non alchoholic

Personality: Control Freak - very choosy, wants to keep her wits about her

Approach: Inherent confidence in her ability to pull whoever she wants.

TREAT WITH CAUTION

 

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IF MEN DRINK -As always, very simple and clear cut.

 

Cider:

He's probably under-aged and wants to get laid.

 

Cheap Domestic Beer:

He's poor / student and wants to get laid.

 

Premium Local Beer:

He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

 

Bitter:

He's old, he likes good beer and wants to get laid.

 

Imported Beer:

He likes expensive beer and wants to get laid

 

Guinness:

The man is handsome, witty, has a great sense of style, is charismatic and everybody wants to have sex with him

 

Wine:

He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid.

 

Vodka or Brandy:

Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.

 

Port:

Thinks he's sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid.

 

Whisky:

He doesn't give two shits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.

 

Jack Daniels:

Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid.

 

Tequila:

Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.

 

Bacardi Breezer,Smirnoff ice, Vodka mule, etc:

He's gay (Blatantly).

 

 

CLASS! ROFL!!!

 

Tim

;-)