EURO-ENGLISH

 

The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby

English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which

was the other possibility.

 

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Govt. conceded that English

spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in

plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish". In the first year,"S" will

replace

the soft "C".

 

Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "C"

will

be dropped in favour of the "K". This should klear up konfusion and

keyboards

kan have 1 less letter. Skhool children will find it easy to read sentenses

like

"the kat is looking for mise in the sity".

Publik enthusiasm will inkrease in the sekond year, when the

troublesome "PH" will be replased with the "F". This will make words like

fotograf 20% shorter.

 

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to

reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments

will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a

deterent to akurate speling. Similarly the "CK", which is a kontradiktion,

wil

be replased by "K". Eurokrats in the European Komision rekon on a ten

persent saving in kosts in writen text. A side efekt wil be beter skhol

atendanse.

 

Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "E" in the language is

disgraseful, and they wil be dropd.

By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "TH" with

"Z" and

"W" with "V". Zen it vil be simpl to chang final voisd konsonants to

unvoist

konsonants. Zis vil brink ze languag step by step bak to its rots.

Durink ze fifz yar, ze unesesary "O" kan be dropt from vorts kontaining "OU"

ant similar changs vut of kors be aplit to ozer kombinations of leters.

Ozer

fonetik changs, such as difzonk redukshuns n det konsonan eliminashuns

shut mak ze vorts ezier t lern.

 

After zis fifz yar, ve vil haf a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor

trubls or

difikultis n evrivun vil fint it ezi t understant ech ozer. In al skhols

Goez vil be

rekvirt redink just lik Sheksper.

 

ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU

LMFAO!!!:D

Class. :D

 

The Germans are taking more of our words over there at the moment, though. The latest ones when I was living over there were "clever" and "sorry".