While I was flying down the road yesterday (10 mph over the

limit), I passed over a bridge only to find a policeman with a radar

gun on the other side lying in wait.

 

He pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic

patronising smirk we all know and love, asked, What's your hurry?

To which I replied, I'm late for work.

 

Oh yeah, said the policeman, what do you do? I'm a rectum

stretcher, I responded.

 

The policeman stammered, a what? A rectum stretcher?!! And just

what does a rectum stretcher do??!!

 

Well, I said, I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way

up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in

I work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly

stretch it until it's about 6 foot wide.

 

And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot ars*hole??

 

To which I politely replied, You give him a radar gun and park him

behind a bridge ...

LMAO

...........Help the Police

 

 

--- beat yourself up.