Gents i know i posted something a while ago about my ex but i despretally need some advice if its ok to ask, i do realize this is a zed forum but people here are really friendly and helpfull and have been there for me many times

so if its ok to ask ill carry on :sad:

Get to Japfest next month plenty of nice women there just look for my zed and you will find them :)

Plenty of advice here and everyone is of the same opinion you got to move on for a better life which is out there.

Life is too precious to give it up over a woman or anything for that matter, unfortunately people react in different ways to emotions, but i have learnt over the years not to give my heart fully to any woman. Yes love her, care for her, but you have to hold something back for yourself, dont rely on them or appear to be desperate, women like a strong minded but sensitive man.

After 12 year relationship ended in 2007, although we sort of grew apart in the end anyway, i sort of sensed it was over, so prepared myself mentally for it. It still didnt stop me thinking about her for a while and thought one day we might get back together, but that soon passes, when you get back out in the field and enjoy yourself again.

 

No matter how difficult you think it may be at the minute, i would have the meeting with your ex and show her how strong and independent of her you have become and dont for one second beg for another chance. If it is likely to happen it will, but dont force it.

If afterwards you know in your heart its not going to happen, then move on keep occupied with another interest and start to live again.

Try and put yourself in her shoes for a minute and look at yourself, your situation, emotionally, financially etc...

 

Im in a relationship now where she worships the ground i walk on lol, i can honestly say i dont feel the same way, but i love her in my own way, but treat her like a queen, so i get the best of both worlds really... There are so many beautiful women in the world and you will find your soulmate one day and you probably wont have to try that hard either, things just happen when you least expect it, but nothing will happen, by staying in and pondering on what could or might have been.

 

Good luck and we are all here to help

 

Err what he said...not to mention the many varied and interesting sheep that proliferate your area.BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

something else i also did is have her name tattoo'd on my wrist this was 6months after we finished maybe i should get it coverd

something else i also did is have her name tattoo'd on my wrist this was 6months after we finished maybe i should get it coverd

 

Dont let her see it mate.

I know its probably not what you wanted to hear,but as you can see from everyones responses,its best you let go.Your judgement is clouded by your feelings for her,more than likely.When you lose someone you love,theres a gap in your life where they were,but hanging on to hope shes going to return,means the gap will always be there.Theres plenty other girls out there,once you let go of your ex,you will meet someone else.I was cutup over a girl i split with,i feltsh*t for months,seeing her out with friends that we all used to hang out with etc,but I decided Id never let a woman make me feel that way again,and never have since.Then,a year or so later,when Im with my new girlfriend,I met her and she was saying what a mistake she'd made and how lucky new girlfriend was,,if only she had said that a year earlier when i gave a sh*t.But I had moved on,thats what you need to try doing.Thats my advice:)

I've had a good read of what you have been saying and I can understand fully how you are feeling. I've been suffering from severe depression for over 5 years and it all began because of me being to soft hearted and getting walked over by my ex and a tart I then picked up at work. I'm well over the reasons for my depression but not the symptoms.

 

Anyway, when somebody leaves you and you loved them, the only memories that are apparent in your mind afterwards are the good happy ones. Your mind doesn't remember the bad times. This gives us a distorted view of the relationship that can make us think that it's all our fault. It also makes us feel that we will not be happy again until the relationship is repaired. It sounds like you are stuck in this cycle.

 

Unfortunately, I don't think that getting back with this girl will give your "perfect" life back for two reasons; 1. You never had the perfect relationship with her in the first place, I know this sounds harsh but I bet if you thought about it, you would agree and 2. You would probably end up being paranoid that she will leave you and become to clingy, which is a sure fire relationship breaker.

 

I think that the best thing you can do is to cut her out completely now, delete her number from your phone. If you are able to move away from the area. Instead of focussing on the good times focus on the bad instead. Remember - She was not there for you when your Nan and Mum were ill. I'm not saying it'll be easy, it won't it will be the hardest thing you have ever had to do. But you will feel better and be able to move on.

 

I hope I've not offended or insulted you as that was definitely not my intentions. This is just what I think based on my experiences. Good luck mate.

i know god i wish i was a bit stronger, she knows i have a tattoo i told her last week but im going to say to her on wed are you going to give me a chance or am i to forget about you and go and get this tattoo coverd up so i can move on and forget about you

I've had a good read of what you have been saying and I can understand fully how you are feeling. I've been suffering from severe depression for over 5 years and it all began because of me being to soft hearted and getting walked over by my ex and a tart I then picked up at work. I'm well over the reasons for my depression but not the symptoms.

 

Anyway, when somebody leaves you and you loved them, the only memories that are apparent in your mind afterwards are the good happy ones. Your mind doesn't remember the bad times. This gives us a distorted view of the relationship that can make us think that it's all our fault. It also makes us feel that we will not be happy again until the relationship is repaired. It sounds like you are stuck in this cycle.

 

Unfortunately, I don't think that getting back with this girl will give your "perfect" life back for two reasons; 1. You never had the perfect relationship with her in the first place, I know this sounds harsh but I bet if you thought about it, you would agree and 2. You would probably end up being paranoid that she will leave you and become to clingy, which is a sure fire relationship breaker.

 

I think that the best thing you can do is to cut her out completely now, delete her number from your phone. If you are able to move away from the area. Instead of focussing on the good times focus on the bad instead. Remember - She was not there for you when your Nan and Mum were ill. I'm not saying it'll be easy, it won't it will be the hardest thing you have ever had to do. But you will feel better and be able to move on.

 

I hope I've not offended or insulted you as that was definitely not my intentions. This is just what I think based on my experiences. Good luck mate.

 

you have not offended at all matey that is an excellent bit of advice and im sorry to hear that you are going through similar circumstances and it really is a bad place to be, moving is quite a difficult option i would like to though, she passes as her mum lives on the same estate as me :no:

 

another sad thing is i really wanted to get a porsche 911 only for the reason to get her back which is stupid reason but when your like this you will try anything, im not rich by a long way but i would have struggled to get one, maybe i should forget it or still get one just to show how i have moved on :blushing:

Get the 911 mate, that's a great idea. Don't do it for her though do it for you!

get out there and get your dick wet :)

 

Good luck with Wednesday pal, don't be too needy or desperate, even if it goes badly, maybe even just have a chat as friends, don't even mention a relationship, you could always meet up again... And if it does go badly, and she says it ain't gonna happen, definately HAVE to cut all ties and wipe her out of your life, that includes keepskes, presents she gave you, anything that reminds you of her etc. bin em all, it's the only way dude...

+1

 

What he said /\ /\ /\ /\

Dewi lad, get strong mate!!! summers coming so enjoy your self, you have to remember that life is too short and there are millions and millions of people in a whole lot worse situations than you, people are dying unnecessarily, lost children, abused, just bad problems!!! just get a grip mate and get yourself on a dating site and find the right girl, It may take time but enjoy yourself while waiting, your ex is playing games with your head and probably laughing behind your back, you NEED to show you are strong now and going to move on, do as the lads have said , wipe her number, erase the good memories and think of the bad times with her, I know you feel shit mate, I bet 95% of us on here have been through the same situation, I know! done it loads of times and always found a better bird at the end of it!!

 

Daz :cool3:

Thanks Daz and to everyone for your support and backup times like these can be really stressful as some of you have been through the same thing and come out a better person at the end, wed is the big day and I am seeing my counselor tomor so hopefully I will appear strong and confident before her on wed

i wouldnt go on wed, give her a taste of her own medicine, dont go getting into debt to please her, i did this and i still got pissed on

 

you are best off without her, get the tattoo covered up, throw out anything that reminds you of her, she is playing you for a fool mate

 

i know what its like and it hurts like hell and you will ask anyone to help but there is nothing that anyone can say or do that will change her ways, she seems to dangle the carrot just infront of your nose just to keep you keen, she seems a very nasty piece of work

 

how much money do you give her on a daily basis, bet she is always telling you she is short of cash and she will pay you back

 

there is some good advice in this thread and i know what ive said isnt what you want to hear, but from what ive read its what you need to hear

 

sorry for being harsh but in hate people being took for a ride

just a thought if you can do somthing youv never done before on the tuesday like rock climbing or somthing youll meet some other folk plus youll be brimbing with confidence.

im not gonna reapete what others have said

iv been in a situation like your self and being on the otherside aswell and to tell you the truth theyre nothing worse than knowing someone loves you and you cant resiprocate..but she does sound like someone you should try and get over..take take taking and not giving back is a big no no for me in a relationship..

anhoo get out and try somthing new you might just get luck and meet your perfect match

good luck on wed

Plenty of advice here and everyone is of the same opinion you got to move on for a better life which is out there.

 

In a nutshell mate!

 

Dewi, I must be blunt - I have read enough. You're still only 36 and this woman is preying on you. She will go through life making mistake after mistake; all the while hoping you'll be there to pick up the pieces for her while she attempts to make a life with yet another "someone else"

 

Harsh as it sounds; get rid of the tattoo, forget meeting up on Wednesday, stop buying her presents and get yourself that 911.

 

We've all been there in one extreme or another - and most of us have gotten over it by forgetting about the one that got away/wronged us/etc etc and moving on in life.

 

I really hope it works out for you mate; you've the got support in us lot so (as the Nike advert says) just do it!!

 

Richard:yes:

We are here only a short time on this planet so make the most of it and get out there.

 

Well said, taking the knocks is "life", picking yourself up and moving on is "living"....good luck with whatever you decide to do.

p.s im sorry all for being a bit of a drama queen but i really am soft, all your advice is rock solid and really has got me thinking very hard indeed she really is constantly on my mind and im hoping after wed i will know one way or another if its, well i can pretty much guarantee it will be that she wont want to try again then atleast i will know what way to go, get rid of everything to remind me of her, even maybe move away hopefully, new car new life, im in two minds weather i should go though, one part says i should go get it over and done with know for sure where i stand and move on from there, the other is not to bother going at all, just say to her there is no point in me coming over and that i just want to move on and ask her to delete my number? deep down im my heart i just want her to realise om going then she will run after me, but the truth as hurtfull as it is she probably wont even be botherd :(

I have been through this, and I can tell you that if you get back involved you will only get hurt more, as it becomes an acceped policy by you and her, that whatever happens you will buckle and bow down. I posted here about it, and the advice I was given was very much the same.

I think you need to get up and get on with your life, and live it for you, get the 911 if it gives you focus and a drive to go forward. Once you can see the light and your life moving forward with success everything will look clear.

Trust me its the hardest thing to do, I look back now and wonder, but I also look at where I am now, and the things I do in my life. I am telling you I would not go back to that situation again.

Stella will tell you the mess I was in, it wasnt good.

So get the 911 and see how your life moves on, you can always sell it later if the intrest in it dies.

I hope this helps you in some way :) My sister told me divorce is very expencive, and thats where I would have been now I am sure of it.

 

Allan

Edited April 11, 201114 yr by gruntpa64

p.s im sorry all for being a bit of a drama queen but i really am soft, all your advice is rock solid and really has got me thinking very hard indeed she really is constantly on my mind and im hoping after wed i will know one way or another if its, well i can pretty much guarantee it will be that she wont want to try again then atleast i will know what way to go, get rid of everything to remind me of her, even maybe move away hopefully, new car new life, im in two minds weather i should go though, one part says i should go get it over and done with know for sure where i stand and move on from there, the other is not to bother going at all, just say to her there is no point in me coming over and that i just want to move on and ask her to delete my number? deep down im my heart i just want her to realise om going then she will run after me, but the truth as hurtfull as it is she probably wont even be botherd :(

 

buddy iff you have to buy love with this lady then its not really the ideal way to re-start the 2 way commitment...she should want and have you back for the love she holds in her heart for you and nothing else.Turn up on wed but be ready for news that could hurt in the short term but be far better long term for the both of you,a lot of the times un-happy relatinships are born from couples who simply fall out of love but just not strong enough to admit it and thats when the young ones suffer mate..Goodluck for wed but ive a feeling you may have to man up and walk away from this one.

Some sound advice been posted up here chap.

She aint gonna respect you until you respect yourself, sorry if that

sounds harsh, but it's true.

She knows how you feel and it seems she's using it to her advantage,

my advice (although easier said than done) is to text her and say you

cant make it wednesday (no reason), suggest if she wants to meet another

time to let you know, if it comes to that, then go along and see her. If

she starts mentioning needing money or whatever..... walk away.. end of.

Oh... and if a z didnt do it for her, then you'll have no chance with a 911:wink:

Some sound advice been posted up here chap.

She aint gonna respect you until you respect yourself, sorry if that

sounds harsh, but it's true.

She knows how you feel and it seems she's using it to her advantage,

my advice (although easier said than done) is to text her and say you

cant make it wednesday (no reason), suggest if she wants to meet another

time to let you know, if it comes to that, then go along and see her. If

she starts mentioning needing money or whatever..... walk away.. end of.

Oh... and if a z didnt do it for her, then you'll have no chance with a 911:wink:

 

i actually thought of this plan also LOL:mellow: and it was the zed that attracted her to me i have been with her a few times before 8 years ago, then maybe 4 years ago and the last 2 years ago now think it was the zed :w00t: i already mentioned to her i was getting a porsche and was still keeping the zed and beemer she was gobsmacked but buying something to use to attract someone is the wrong way to go about things, so why on earth did i buy a zed to begin with :w00t:

telling her you're buying cars is surely telling her you have money to spend :(

 

I think it's time to stop the games and plans. See how you feel and if you feel like meeting her then do but be strong about it. Know what you want to say and stick to your guns. I'm afraid I agree with what's been said, she's kinda using you mate :( Time for you to call the shots and if you don't get what YOU want, then walk away with dignity knowing she didn't want the same things as you :)

 

If you don't, you know the next call I'll make is to Jeremey Kyle! lol

 

Vijay

I was once in a similar situation, watching my ex pass my house each day, eventually with someone new and it was very tough. 18 months later I decided to spend more time away from home and started living it up by travelling and socialising one hell of a lot more than I ever had. I have no regrets as these were probably the best days of my life and, lo and behold, even met my current partner this way. I never thought that I could have had fun again, move on and meet another girl until I made the decision to get off my ass and change direction. My ex married someone else, got up the duff and split up within 2 years of meeting him. Some girls aren't designed to be in relationships and she sounds like yet another excitement junkie from what you've said. It's hard to accept now, but there really are more (and better) fish in the sea.

Edited April 12, 201114 yr by DaveMac

i wouldnt go on wed, give her a taste of her own medicine, dont go getting into debt to please her, i did this and i still got pissed on

 

you are best off without her, get the tattoo covered up, throw out anything that reminds you of her, she is playing you for a fool mate

 

i know what its like and it hurts like hell and you will ask anyone to help but there is nothing that anyone can say or do that will change her ways, she seems to dangle the carrot just infront of your nose just to keep you keen, she seems a very nasty piece of work

 

how much money do you give her on a daily basis, bet she is always telling you she is short of cash and she will pay you back

 

there is some good advice in this thread and i know what ive said isnt what you want to hear, but from what ive read its what you need to hear

 

sorry for being harsh but in hate people being took for a ride

 

 

StellaZ,

 

Ditto

 

Well said!

 

Mate,

 

If you read through the replies there is a theme going on. A lot of us on here have been through this before and came out the other side much happier than ever before.

 

The only ride you need to be taken on is in a ZED,

 

Be strong

 

 

Mike