takemetothepub

Round ones are dipped/main. Rectangle are full beam.

Why does everyone call Chris - Dave? Its like our own version of only fools and horses. :D

cool!

1. Select reading material (can be anything except a porn-mag; tried by every man once, but never repeated - see step 4). 2. Tell everyone along the way, "Just going for a dump, okay?" Always tell girlfriend/wife, especially when she has visitors. 3. Pull pants and trousers around ankles, then sit down. 4. Adjust penis and testicles to hang comfortably without touching the toilet rim. 5. Open reading material and relax. 6. Whilst waiting, it is traditional to audibly fart. 7. Sigh loudly as the first one bullets out. It is quite normal to experience a cold jet of water rocket up your anus as a result of the first bomb. This is to be endured if you want to be a real man. 8. Remain sitting and reading until pins-and-needles set in to your legs and buttocks. 9. Rise and look at the poo. Make mental notes of any irregularities to report to friends and girlfriend/wife, e.g. colour,consistency,any visible traces of peanuts, etc. You must tell people; about; it. 10. Take long length of paper and wipe anus. You must look at the paper before throwing it into the pan. 11. Repeat step 10 until there is no longer any evidence of faeces onthe paper. 12. Flush. If there is any residue left on the pan, under no circumstances attempt to clean it off. In due course, it will come away by itself. Or when your girlfriend/wife next uses the loo. 13. Leave the seat up. Leave the reading material on the floor (you can use it again later). 14. Wash your hands once. 15. Vacate the bathroom, leaving the door open. It is important to a man's self-esteem that other people smell his produce.

1. Under no circumstances use any other toilet than your own, regardless of any stomach pain may be caused whilst waiting to get home. 2. With the toilet-brush, clean any residue left on the pan by your boyfriend/husband. Also wipe his pubes off the seat with some toilet paper. 3. Flush the toilet before starting. Then wash your hands. 4. Line the toilet seat with toilet paper (as other people may have sat on the toilet since it was last bleached). 5. Stuff toilet paper inside the pan to prevent splash-back. 6. Pull panties down and sit. Some women may still prefer to squat over the seat as opposed to taking the risk of touching it with bare flesh. 7. Release solids, but strain to avoid making any sounds. 8. Rise and quickly flush before direct eye-contact is made with any faeces. 9. Take a length of toilet paper and fold it several times to positively guarantee that no residue will touch bare skin (about five or six applications per role). 10. Wipe once and throw paper into the pan. Do not look at the paper. 11. Repeat steps 9 and 10 at least thirty times. It may be necessary to yell for your boyfriend/husband to find some more rolls to pass through the door while promising not to open his eyes or pass any comments. It is traditional to do this while he is trying to watch;; sport. 12. Flush the toilet and replace the lid. 13. Wash hands at least three times with disinfectant soap. 14. Open all windows and spray approximately half-a-can of air freshener. 15. Pick up all reading material left behind by your boyfriend/husband and leave bathroom, closing the door firmly behind; you.

STAGE 1 - SMART This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known universe. You know you know everything and you want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RGHT. And of course, the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART. STAGE 2 - GOOD LOOKING This is when you realise that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing that they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun. STAGE 3 - RICH This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armoured truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course you're still SMART, so naturally, you will win all your bets. It doesn't matter how much you bet 'cos you are RICH. You will also start buying drinks for everyone that you fancy, because you are now the BEST LOOKING person in the world. STAGE 4 - BULLET PROOF You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone, especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because nothing can hurt you. At this point you can also go up the boyfriends of the women who fancy you and challenge them to a battle of wits or money. You have no fear of losing this battle, because you're SMART, you're RICH and Hell, you're better looking than they are anyway. STAGE 5 ? INVISIBLE This is the final stage of drunkeness. At this point you can do anything because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You can dance on a table to impress the women who fancy you because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person who wants to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the top of you lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you're still SMART and you know ALL the words. ... You can do anything you want, because no one will know.....And you certainly won't remember..............................

come on, someone post a pic of them fitted to a zed!

Thats great mate, the zed will give you that feeling every time, happy for you bud.

Reg. *** 280X Nice to see someone not in a Z32 who seams to like all Z's. good to see you! :bow:

Any cases of someone going through this and actualy winning you can show us?

I'd like a hangover cure and spiritual enlightenment please.

Read somewhere that only about 25% of road tax actually gos back into the upkeep of roads ect. the rest just goes anywhere the Gov want it to. :xxx:

Woke up with a stonking hangover this morning, looked at the clock 11:30am. Bugger, not going to the pod today then! Ah wel maybe next time.

Sorry anyone who buys one of those should have their car removed from them and then given a smack round the face with a wet kipper.

Mate of mine is developing one, watch this space ;)

how the hell do you make that then????????????????

I find a curry to be the best for that. or a pot noooooooodle

Just wait, after 600 miles the noise does get more bass and louder, im decatted and goose and at first was unpset how quiet it was, but its singing away now!!!

you can format as part of windows XP setup, with SATA drives the full format is very quick.

Try this driver http://www.asus.com.tw/support/download/selectftp.aspx?l1_id=1&l2_id=21&l3_id=1&m_id=1&f_name=378ata_100104528.zip~zaqwedc

saying no bios installed is fine, ignor that. Download the latest SATA drivers for windows from your Motherboard makers website, you should have four different drivers to install for them under the F6 option, install all of them to make sure you have the right one.

Gonna try and make it up there sunday and do my first ever Pod run.

I make my own from tea bags, sugar, boiling water and milk. wont tell you the quantaties or you'll all be doing it.

Sounds about right mate, you should get that for it. I'd put it up for 5.2k if i were you. let someone beat you down to 4.5k. you get the money you want and they think they have got a great discount.

Wasnt it the most expencive Z in europe or something????