not sure if anyone else has been in this situation. As most of you who read my previous post know, me and the missus are splitting.

 

Unfortunately at this stage, she has started demanding money from me. She insists that she cant move out until she finds somewhere suitable (fair enough) but while living in the house she cant afford to pay for ANYTHING, this leaves me with all of the bills. This month so far I have forked out over a grand already and am now £400 down on making the mortgage payment.

 

Anyone any advice? Anywhere I can go for a small loan, obtaining credit is difficult for me as I dont have a credit history (dont like to borrow). any advice grateful.

Does she have any claims on the place you're living in? Why can't she afford it and why can't she get a small loan?

she cant move out until she finds somewhere suitable (fair enough)

 

Make her pay rent or tell her to get out mate!

 

Dont let her screw you

she is responsible for 50% of all utility bills its called beneficial use....and maybe responsible for 50% of the mortgage if she is on the papers

Thats what i thought vijay, why can't she work. Have you kids involved bud. Don't let her emotionly blackmail you. I have been there matey.

I know what your saying bud, but cant kick her out with a 2 year old! Bottom line is she wont pay, simple as, but is atcively looking elsewhere so should be gone within next couple of weeks.

 

Just fubar in the short term Im afraid.

She works yes, she HAS the money, but WONT pay. Says she needs it for a bond and first month upfront on a new place. She has no claim to my house plus theres f all equity anyway!

Won't pay??? Mate, time for her to leave and you to look after your kid even if it's just till she finds a place. Makes me mad that people think they have the right to put somone else in debt so they can be sorted. You're a nicer person than I am cos she'd have been out by now.

She works yes, she HAS the money, but WONT pay. Says she needs it for a bond and first month upfront on a new place. She has no claim to my house plus theres f all equity anyway!

 

tell her to go get an emergancy loan from the council to pay her rent (to you) or her and the 2 year old get kicked out.

 

Dont be a pussy! your a man FFS!

"won't pay"

Why should you pay her half, get tough, she is taking you for a ride, pay or out..

Let me get this right... she's CHOOSING not to pay because she wants to save up for something she wants (in this case the bond for a new place). Would you accept this if you had a tenant living with you? Basically, what this boils down to is that YOU are paying for her bond and rent. Sorry mate, but you need to get tough with her and say that if she doesn't pay half of everything you will be taking her to court for it. Why should she get the benefit of living in the house and paying nothing for it?

 

And yes, I have been there too... I hope it all works out for you - it will get better.

As far as being happy with the situation goes, far from out. But happy that we have split, god yes! It just seems at the time being that turning the other cheek maybe the best option, as dont want to have to worry about her making it "difficult" for me to see my son. dont think she would, but the thoughts there.

As far as being happy with the situation goes, far from out. But happy that we have split, god yes! It just seems at the time being that turning the other cheek maybe the best option, as dont want to have to worry about her making it "difficult" for me to see my son. dont think she would, but the thoughts there.

 

I know what you mean mate, but she knows that you could be thinking that too and it sounds like she's going to play on it. I know it's difficult because this is someone you have had a relationship with and trusted, but don't get yourself in debt and all sorts of other trouble just to try to keep the peace. If she's going to be awkward she will no matter what, so you need to look out for yourself.

Are you married mate? if not get parental responsibility set up NOW!!! then down the line if she tries to make it hard to see your kid you can do something about it, without it her and the Kids grand parents have more rights to your child than you do!!

 

Without it you don't have a leg to stand on if it came to court!

 

P.S. she needs to sign the forms aswell so that may be worth doing while she's still being kept sweet!

 

I can't help on the house side of things but i have a eight year old with my Ex and while i haven't had any issues where we've had to go to court it's nice knowing that i have a little bit of backup on my side in the parental responsibility order, also try to keep the CSA out of it with a mutual agreement over cash for the kid they are *******s when it comes to calculating how much you should pay.

Luckily enough (said loosely) we are married, so access to the boy shouldnt be a problem. Just dont know how to make the mortgage this month, thats my biggest problem.

 

Zed is in for a respray on Monday (already paid), got it cheap as the bloke wanted a commitment, therefore can't get money back as he has booked nothing else in! Otherwise, postponing that would of been ideal!