Today has been one of the hardest days in my live.

 

I recently decided that i wanted to meet up with my estranged father. Its been around 10 years since we've seen each other, i just thought it was about time to bite the bullet and make contact again. I was about to start putting the ground work in with my mum (it was a particularly nasty breakup) to make things as easy as possible when i planned to make contact over the next few months.

 

My dad lives in Warrington where i grew up and i still have all my immeadiate family there, bar my mum sister and step dad.

 

Anyway, to cut a long story short, i made contact with a friend whos dad is my dads best mate, just to see how the land lay and make sure that me making contact isnt going to cause problems with my dads new life.

 

The consensus i got was that it was a good idea, so i passed on my mobile number so it could be given to my dad so he could contact me.

 

This afternoon, i got a phone call off my dads best mate. In the long and painfull conversation that took place, i find out that my dad has been diagnosed with cancer of the stomach, liver and lymphnodes. When he was diagnosed, he was told he had about 4 month to live, and this was 6 weeks ago. That now means that according to the doctors estimate, i now have only 8 weeks to reconsile with my dad before he dies.

 

I have never felt so cheated in my life.

 

I have no idea why im writing this, i have all the support in the world with missus (jodie) my mum sister step dad in laws etc etc etc, and yet i cant get my frustrations into words i can say out loud. Its all stuck inside my head and i cant get it out.

 

Why is it, that someone who i truthfully dont really know anymore, has effected me in such a way. Is it because i was ready to sort things out and then to be handed such a kick in the *****x, is it the regret that i hadnt done it sooner.

 

Why cant i deal with this with my work head on. I have to pass news like this on to relatives of deceased people on a fairly regular basis and i can disconnect myself from the emotion, because it is a stranger to me. Thats how i get around it. Why is it i cant do it with someone i hardly know.

 

Why the **** hasnt anyone from my dads side of the family let me and my sister know sooner!!!!!!!

 

I gotta stop writing now, im loosing all perspective and focus.

 

Speak Soon

 

Nick

nick. its not the easiest thing in the world to do at all, not after all that time. i think possibly the reason why it has not been brought to your attention is communication breakdown, plus scared of what either partys reaction could be, its a very very tricky situation for all involved and you cant turn the clock back. you really now need to make the most of what time is left, for both your sakes, and dont dwell on what cant be changed, otherwise you will drive yourself crazy. will leave it at that for now, but keep your chin up mate & good luck.

Just remember, if you'd have put off making contact for another couple of months you could be telling a very different story - stop beating yourself up about it and make the most of the time you've got.

 

All the best

 

Rich

I think you were brave to be the one to make contact in the first place and i'm so sorry to hear the news about your Father. But thank goodness you did make contact now and you have the time to see him and tell him your feelings and frustrations. It's unbelievably unfair and i really feel for you

 

James

Just remember, if you'd have put off making contact for another couple of months you could be telling a very different story - stop beating yourself up about it and make the most of the time you've got.

 

All the best

 

Rich

 

 

Aggreed !

Just remember, if you'd have put off making contact for another couple of months you could be telling a very different story - stop beating yourself up about it and make the most of the time you've got.

 

All the best

 

Rich

 

i agree too.

Just remember, if you'd have put off making contact for another couple of months you could be telling a very different story - stop beating yourself up about it and make the most of the time you've got.

 

All the best

 

Rich

 

Very true Rich.

dont forget nick, if theres anything anyone on here can do for you, you only need to ask

Just remember, if you'd have put off making contact for another couple of months you could be telling a very different story - stop beating yourself up about it and make the most of the time you've got.

 

All the best

 

Rich

 

My thoughts too mate.

 

Leaving it too late would have left you feeling a lot worse; I reckon it was fate that you got in touch when you did.

 

I hope you and your dad make the most of all the time you have.

 

Richard

cheers peeps, it got the better of me last night, but i just felt i needed to vent some frustrations that i just cant let out on my nearest and dearest.

 

But cheers anyway