lol!

Come back 1977 all is forgiven!

 

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

 

1977 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up mates.

2007 - Police are called, Armed Response Unit arrives and arrests Johnny and Mark. Mobiles with video of fight confiscated as evidence. They are charged with assault, ASBOs are taken out and both are suspended even though Johnny started it. Diversionary conferences

and parent meetings conducted. Video shown on 6 internet sites.

 

Scenario: Jeffrey won't sit still in class, disrupts other students.

 

1977 - Jeffrey is sent to the principal's office and given 6 of the

best. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2007 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. Counselled to death.

Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra funding because

Jeffrey has a disability. Drops out of school.

 

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his Dad gives him the slipper.

 

1977 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to

college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to

foster care and joins a gang. Psychologist tells Billy's sister that she

remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mum has an affair with the psychologist. Psychologist gets a promotion.

 

Scenario: Mark, a college student, brings cigarettes to school .

 

1977 - Mark shares a smoke with the school principal out on the smoking area.

2007 - Police are called and Mark is expelled from School for drug

possession. His car is searched for drugs and weapons.

 

Scenario: Mohammed fails high school English.

 

1977 - Mohammed retakes his exam, passes and goes to college.

2007 - Mohammed's cause is taken up by local human rights group.

Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that making English a

requirement for graduation is racist. Civil Liberties Association files

class action lawsuit against state school system and his English

teacher. English is banned from core curriculum. Mohammed is given his qualification anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

 

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover fire-works, puts them in a model

plane paint bottle and blows up an anthill.

 

1977 - Ants die.

2007 - MI5 and police are called and Johnny is charged with perpetrating acts of terrorism. Teams investigate parents, siblings are removed from the home, computers are confiscated, and Johnny's

dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

 

Scenario: Johnny falls during break and scrapes his knee. His teacher,

Mary, finds him crying, and gives him a hug to comfort him.

 

1977 - Johnny soon feels better and goes back to playing.

2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy. Becomes gay.

Q4T (quoted for the truth)

Funny but true!

for those who are too young, all the above quotes are right on the button. its typical british DOO GOODERS and government political BULL$HIT thats led some kids of today to self destruction. this really fookin annoys the hell out of me :rant: :rant: :rant:

for those who are too young, all the above quotes are right on the button. its typical british DOO GOODERS and government political BULL$HIT thats led some kids of today to self destruction. this really fookin annoys the hell out of me :rant: :rant: :rant:

 

So true :cry:

what a great and funny JOKE, i love it

funny but true, thanks to the pc brigade,

i dont think the phrase "do gooders" is right at all - it should be "viruses" - an infection that spends all its life working against the common good. hang 'em all thats what i say

listen, i dont want to fall out with anyone, but its a joke, not a political debate on how the country should be run, just have a laugh and enjoy it as it is intended

harumph!!! ;)

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

 

Brilliant

 

 

AND

 

Remember when we were kids, we played out until it got too dark to see, went to bed tired out from the days activities, climbing trees, building a den, game of football, cricket, rounders, running until you were out of breath, laughing til' your sides ached.

When being cought with a weapon meant a catapult, snake belts, baseball boots, wearing an anorak when it rained, walking to school no matter what the weather was like, a foot of snow was a dream come true, a day off school coz the boiler was broke (YIPEEEE!).

Summers were HOT!, Winters were COLD!, Summer holidays, ice cream was one of the main food groups and came from a van that played a tune.

Those games that went on for weeks with every kid in the neighbourhood and then some, there was always a dog, everyone knew it's name but nobody owned it.

The Beano, Dandy, Beezer, penny sweets that cost a penny an old penny, Bazooka joe bubble gum and Blackjacks, fruit salads and flyin saucers, mystery flavour spangles, sharing a bottle of tizer with four or five mates.

Policemen carried wooden truncheons and wore proper helmets, older siblings were the cruelest tormentors AND the fiercest defenders, everyones Dad had a job and Mum was always home when you got in from school, you knew everyone in your road/street and so did your parents.

If someone got shot or stabbed it would be the headline story on news at ten read by Reginald Bosanquet.

Top tv, it's friday it's five to five and it's CRACKERJACK!!!, Patrick Troughton was Dr Who, Blue Peter with John Noaks (GET DOWN SHEP!), Catweasle, the tomorrow people, the double deckers, banana splits (tra la la.....la la la la).

Building a go kart with some old pram wheels (available for free on every railway embankment in the country), clackers (A set of which dangled from every telephone line).

Birds eye beef burgers for tea, Heinz beans (a million housewives every day pick up a tin of beans and say.......), Vesta chow mein, Mothers pride, a fry up was health food.

Not sleeping a wink on Christmas eve, not having a clue what you were getting for Christmas, genuinely feeling the peace on earth and good will to all men and of course snow.

You know what, we were well off and we didn't know it

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

 

Brilliant

 

 

AND

 

Remember when we were kids, we played out until it got too dark to see, went to bed tired out from the days activities, climbing trees, building a den, game of football, cricket, rounders, running until you were out of breath, laughing til' your sides ached.

When being cought with a weapon meant a catapult, snake belts, baseball boots, wearing an anorak when it rained, walking to school no matter what the weather was like, a foot of snow was a dream come true, a day off school coz the boiler was broke (YIPEEEE!).

Summers were HOT!, Winters were COLD!, Summer holidays, ice cream was one of the main food groups and came from a van that played a tune.

Those games that went on for weeks with every kid in the neighbourhood and then some, there was always a dog, everyone knew it's name but nobody owned it.

The Beano, Dandy, Beezer, penny sweets that cost a penny an old penny, Bazooka joe bubble gum and Blackjacks, fruit salads and flyin saucers, mystery flavour spangles, sharing a bottle of tizer with four or five mates.

Policemen carried wooden truncheons and wore proper helmets, older siblings were the cruelest tormentors AND the fiercest defenders, everyones Dad had a job and Mum was always home when you got in from school, you knew everyone in your road/street and so did your parents.

If someone got shot or stabbed it would be the headline story on news at ten read by Reginald Bosanquet.

Top tv, it's friday it's five to five and it's CRACKERJACK!!!, Patrick Troughton was Dr Who, Blue Peter with John Noaks (GET DOWN SHEP!), Catweasle, the tomorrow people, the double deckers, banana splits (tra la la.....la la la la).

Building a go kart with some old pram wheels (available for free on every railway embankment in the country), clackers (A set of which dangled from every telephone line).

Birds eye beef burgers for tea, Heinz beans (a million housewives every day pick up a tin of beans and say.......), Vesta chow mein, Mothers pride, a fry up was health food.

Not sleeping a wink on Christmas eve, not having a clue what you were getting for Christmas, genuinely feeling the peace on earth and good will to all men and of course snow.

You know what, we were well off and we didn't know it

:bow: :bow: how i miss them days :(

the 80's really weren't so bad after all were they??

listen, i dont want to fall out with anyone, but its a joke, not a political debate on how the country should be run, just have a laugh and enjoy it as it is intended

 

Amen Stella - it made me laugh.......and then cry when I got all nostalgic ;)

 

Richard :rofl: