My dad has been dead a few years now, and we didnt get on, (understatement) never even went to his funeral. Anniversary time !

 

Dont know whether its me getting older, or his spirit pestering me, but been thinking a lot lately.

 

Did I do the right thing not going ??

 

Who knows ?

 

Anyways, this should have been his song on that day.

 

Alan.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRyKg5xMaXA

 

 

_________________

I lost my mum in February this year, We weren't the closest but I made peace with her about a year before she died

That last year was precious to me; the last proper conversation I had with her was on Christmas Day last year I'm just grateful for her being here for as long as she could be

 

It will take time to let go of resentment you have, you have unfinished stuff that needs looking at

 

Your perspective is changing about the relationship with your father, you can't change your decisions,at the time but you can change how you feel about him now and how much love and compassion you have for yourself and him

 

It's up to you, don't go down the guilt trip of "what if"

As all it will do is make you sadder than you are feeling right now

 

If you wanna talk about it I'm here just pm me for my phone number

memories and thoughts are what matter mate, not being in a church on one day.

 

we cant pick our family, and sometimes we hate them. your not alone, and i'm sure if he can see you now, he understands.after all, he was the same as you i guess. stubborn maybe ?

 

think good and positive thoughts. that song is lovely too

about 23 years ago I paid a visit to my dad with my wife one day out of the blue. Didn't see him much but we kept contact after him and me mum split. But he had re married and had 2 kids. Anyway. He said to me that day that he wasnt really interested in me and my 2 sisters any longer and now he had a different life with new children and wanted to move on, so I wasnt welcome in he's life any more. So after telling him in no uncertain terms to "go fook himself" I didnt see him ever again. I did phone him to tell him that my son was born (1986) it was he's first grandchild but had to leave a message with he's more recent wife and he never returned the call (twice and I know he got the messages).

he died about 9-10 years ago and I have always felt that something somewhere was missing since then? But I still say it to this day......Fook him.

There is nothing different with dead people other than you cant see them or talk to them again. Dont let guilt get the better of you. If you dont like someone when they are alive then there aint no reason to feel any different when they are dead.

about 23 years ago I paid a visit to my dad with my wife one day out of the blue. Didn't see him much but we kept contact after him and me mum split. But he had re married and had 2 kids. Anyway. He said to me that day that he wasnt really interested in me and my 2 sisters any longer and now he had a different life with new children and wanted to move on, so I wasnt welcome in he's life any more. So after telling him in no uncertain terms to "go fook himself" I didnt see him ever again. I did phone him to tell him that my son was born (1986) it was he's first grandchild but had to leave a message with he's more recent wife and he never returned the call (twice and I know he got the messages).

he died about 9-10 years ago and I have always felt that something somewhere was missing since then? But I still say it to this day......Fook him.

There is nothing different with dead people other than you cant see them or talk to them again. Dont let guilt get the better of you. If you dont like someone when they are alive then there aint no reason to feel any different when they are dead.

well said this man :bow: