A priest took a sabbatical to a fishing lodge. On

the last day of his trip, he hooked a monster fish

and proceeded to reel it in. The guide, holding a

net, yelled, "Look at the size of that Son of a Bitch!"

"Son, I'm a priest. Your language is uncalled

for!" the priest said.

"No, Father," replied the guide, "that's what kind

of fish it is. It's a Son of a Bitch fish!"

"Really? Well help me land this Son of a Bitch!"

chimed the priest.

Once in the boat, they marveled at the monster.

"Father, that is the biggest Son of a Bitch I've

ever seen" said the guide.

"Yes, it is a big Son of a Bitch," replied the priest.

"What should I do with it? " asked the priest. "Why

eat it, of course," answered the guide. "You've

never tasted anything as good as that Son of a Bitch!"

Elated, the priest headed home to the church.

While unloading his gear and his prize catch,

Sister Mary inquired about his trip. "Take a

look at this big Son of a Bitch I caught!" the

priest said.

Sister Mary gasped and clutched her rosary.

"Father!"

"It's OK Sister," said the priest, "that's what

kind of fish it is. A Son of a Bitch fish!"

"Oh well, then, what are you going to do with

that big Son of a Bitch?" asked Sister Mary.

"Why, eat it of course," answered the priest.

"The guide said nothing compares to the taste

of a Son of a Bitch."

The Sister informed the priest that the Pope

was scheduled to visit in a few days and that

they should fix the Son of a Bitch for dinner.

"I'll even clean the Son of a Bitch," she said.

As she was cleaning the huge fish, the Friar

walked in.

"What are you doing, Sister Mary?" asked the

Friar.

"Father wants me to clean this big Son of a

Bitch for the Pope's dinner," replied Sister

Mary.

"Sister! I'll clean it if you're so upset!

Please watch your language!" asked the Friar.

"No, no, no. It's called a Son of a Bitch fish -

really!" claimed Sister Mary.

"Oh, well in that case, I'll fix up a great meal

and that Son of a Bitch can be the main course!"

replied the Friar. "Let me know when you've

finished cleaning that Son of a Bitch."

On the night of the Pope's visit, everything was

perfect. The Friar had prepared an excellent

meal, there was wine, and the fish was excellent.

The Pope said, "This is great fish, where did you

get it?"

"I caught the Son of a Bitch!" proclaimed the

proud priest. The Pope's eyes opened wide, but he

said nothing.

"And I cleaned the Son of a Bitch!" exclaimed the

sister. The Pope sat silent in disbelief.

And the Friar added, "And I prepared the Son of

a Bitch, using a special recipe!"

The Pope looked at each of them. Slowly a big

smile crept across his face, and he said, "You

fuckers are alright!"

 

Robert.

 

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I only use the brakes so I can accelerate all over again.

ROFLMAO!

 

Reminds me of one of the best/worst jokes me and my bro ever pulled off at the age of 16.

I now feel like a complete twat for it but you will laugh

My cousin Sarah who was about 12 at the time, dumb and a pain in the arse wanted an ice cream from the van in the street.

Me and my bro started asking her if she'd ever had this great new ice lolly called a penis! LOL

After persuading her it was what she wanted we told her to go and ask her dad if he's ever sucked a penis and see if he'll give her some money to try one!

So she did.

He was not impressed and she got such a beating! LOL

As I said - I'm not proud now honest LOL