What would your country do with two cows.

 

 

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other

 

to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

 

 

A SOUTH AFRICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike because you

want three cows.

 

A ZIMBABWEAN CORPORATION A farmer has two cows. You take over his farm, eat

both cows and wait for the international community to supply more.

 

A JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You re-design them so they are

one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them

World-Wide.

 

A GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live

for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

 

A BRITISH CORPORATION You have two cows. Both are mad.

 

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.

 

You break for lunch

 

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You count them and learn you have

five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them

again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open

another bottle of vodka.

 

A CHINESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them.

You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman

who reported the numbers.

 

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. The one on the left is kinda Cute.

 

[This message has been edited by 300z (edited 24-06-2002).]

LMAO!

 

If Nissan made cows they would blow up and need new arses every 3000 miles.

 

 

 

------------------

->Glen

Originally posted by senna:

LMAO!

 

If Nissan made cows they would blow up and need new arses every 3000 miles.

 

 

Uprated rump steak anyone.

 

 

And what would your system of government do with two cows?

 

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

 

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

 

PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbours help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

 

APPLIED COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

 

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

 

TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

 

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbours decide who gets the milk.

 

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbours pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

 

BRITISH DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. You feed them infected sheep brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.

 

EUROPEAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

 

SINGAPOREAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The government fines you for keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.

 

CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

 

HONG KONG CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly-listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the right to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because of bad feng shui.

 

LESBIANISM: You have two cows. They get married and adopt a veal

calf.

 

COUNTERCULTURE: Wow, dude, there's like...these two cows, man. You have *got* to have some of this milk.

 

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

 

MICROSOFTISM: You have two calves, and neither of them work, so you wait for the COW 98 upgrade.

 

SOLIPSISM: Your mind would like to believe that several cows exist, and that two of them are yours, but you know better.

 

CLINTONISM: You have two cows, but you milk everyone else's anyway.

 

 

BABY-BOOMERISM - You take the cows because you have a divine right to them full stop. You drink all the milk and become a fat lard arsed bastard and spend the rest of your life complaining about the fact that the cowes died and no one gave you a replacement, you selfish tw*t.

 

hehe just my €0.02

WARRENSHEEHANISM - You have two cows which need upgrading, you take your cows to the local cow tuner and the upgraded cows (with extra methane) last for 2 days before backfiring and exploding spectacularly

TOOLEYISM - You dont have 2 cows at all, they are actually pink elephants

SENNAISM - Your two cows have short legs and scrape their bellies when you try to get the b*stards onto the cattle-truck

 

 

CRAIGISM - You have two cows, one called Jeff the other called Duff, you spend an unproductive time keeping them apart for fear of them killing each other. The farmer who sold you the cows doesn't want to know so you have to hire three shepherds to keep and eye on the cows when you cant be there.

GRASSHOPPERISM - You have 11 cows that have trouble breathing.

Better yet, you are all a bunch of mad cows(or is that bollocks) (sorry for the bad spelling it should say bullocks), just admit it.

 

 

ROFLMAO

 

Mrs dunk300zxtt(Wendy)