Hi all, totally NZR but of late iv been missing my brother and sister, i left home when they were 5 and 3 respectivly

 

basically my step mum was an alchoholic and same with my father so i left home due to being treated like a **** basically

 

10years have passed and iv not seen carrieanne and scott once, i know where they live, im just worried about turning up 10years later when they may have no recolection of me, and apart from that my step mum remarried and we have never seen eye to eye. Carrieanne was around 4 when i left but there was many times when she looked up to me, when she seen her mum and my dad fighting so she would want cuddles etc, yeh i know soppy **** :wack:

they will both be 13 and 15 :eek: :o :cry:

 

bottom line is i miss them, just never been one for turning up and recieving rejection or the "where the **** have you been" or **** off type scenario

 

what can you do

 

greg

If you don't take the chance and just turn up then you will always question yourself - WHY DIDN'T I JUST GO AND SEE THEM?

If you go and see them you are already prepared for the questions / comments. If they don't want to know then that would be difficult but you can keep trying.

If you don't take the chance and just turn up then you will always question yourself - WHY DIDN'T I JUST GO AND SEE THEM?

If you go and see them you are already prepared for the questions / comments. If they don't want to know then that would be difficult but you can keep trying.

 

yeh i know bud, its just the actual doing it :(

 

im more bothered about the fact my dad had a nervous breakdown at the time i left due to circumstances. He has not seen the children in the same period of time either, i think i need to just bite the bullet and turn up, its just putting it in to action thats hard :headvswal

Better to be 10 years down the line then never........... Life really is too short.... nothing ventured nothing gained as they say.... Good luck in whatever decision you make.. Go with your gut instinct

The thing is Greg 10 years is a lot of time to have not seen them and yes you might get a blank but when alls said and done if you dont then the next thing it will be 15 years and that'll be even harder to explain. If you get my drift? Go on lad take a chance in life and see how it goes. At least you will know one way or the other.

 

HTH and good luck bud.

 

Vini,

Sorry to put a dampener on this bud but from my own experience in almost the same circumstances even when meeting my sisters we have never managed to become a family again and still dont talk, but you never know till you try

better to regret things u have done than wonder what could have been an regret things u mabey should have done but didnt. HTH

do it mate i have 2 sisters and a brother that grew up with my mom i met them for the first time when they were 13 bro, 15 sis ,17 sis and guts me to this day, the time i have missed with them cause of my C**t of a mom. we are in contact all the time now and the better for it but will never forgive my mom for what she has done

greg. i think you may find they will remember you being the age they were at the time. kids never seem to forget things. it would not surprise if they have asked questions about you over the years. the only problem you could have is, you dont know what your mother has told them all these years. im not trying to put you off in any way, but its a possibility. at the end of the day, they have a right to see you, and you see them. i would personally pay a visit, or ring up. good luck in whatever decision you make.

try writing to them first

i would just go for it lifes to short to not try and see if you can become a part of them again at the most you will lose is a bit of pride on the day if it doesnt work out but at least you will have took a big step in trying to make up for the missing years

billy

Don't ask you don't get so you should do it ;) Is it really worth being on your death bed and having regrets ;)

 

Good luck :)

 

Vijay

everything to gain and nothing to loose mate.

 

plus they are probably sitting tehre thinking teh same thing. But if you leave it too long they may start resenting you.

 

Id say go for it with both feet.

Go and see them bud and live with no regrets. All the best :)

go see them mate if they tell you to take a hike you have lost nothing but if they welcome you the you will gain everything it takes big kahunas to do went through the same with my missus was a bit strained at first but things are getting better times a great healer.....good luck

thanks for all the replys, i did not want it to turn in to feel sorry for me, its just nice to have another view on things, iv decided i will go around there when there at school one morning, speak to the mum and go from there, last thing i want is to turn up when there there initally and say oh hi im your brother!

 

again thanks for the lift, but like the general cencus and my gut feeling better late than never! I hope they remember me, as iv not forgot them!

 

greg :)

I'm lucky in that my family are very close but as with anything in life if you don't take the chance you will always regret it.

 

It's worth taking the chance to get them back in your life again

go for it greg. i have had to deal with a bad family issue that has been eating me up inside for the last two and a half years. it has taken a member of my family to get very ill for them to finally talk. i have been a go between all this time and have nearly come to a breaking point myself. when they finally spoke the relief felt by all was more than i could have dreamed of.

 

bud don't wait till its too late, go and see them as some one has to make the first move.

 

life IS too short for never knowing mate and i sincerly hope that it all works out for you.

 

good luck

 

gaz

Imagine if something happened to them, and the choice was taken away from you ?? :eek:

 

Do it now mate, cause sometimes, tomorrow never comes ! :(

 

Voice of experience here !

 

Alan..........

As Stella said write a letter, thats what i would do, i would write a letter to each of them as they are old enough to understand now and write back, small steps first mate, just turning up on the door step could open up a hornets nest as it would be a shock to everyone and emotional especially for you. If your brother and sister want to corrispond via letter, email etc do it build up a relationship that way fiest as its not so emotional. Then maybe write to their mother explaining you have been in contact with them and you would like to see them, they might tell their mother anyway, you never know 10 years is a long time, people change and mellow over time, talk to your Dad explain things to him. Good luck bud.

I agree with big mincey, i'm in a situation where i wish i could pause time with someone in my life because i don't know how long i have with them left and it's a terrible feeling mate.

 

If i could have more time with them i'd go for it so much sooner.

I agree with big mincey, i'm in a situation where i wish i could pause time with someone in my life because i don't know how long i have with them left and it's a terrible feeling mate.

 

If i could have more time with them i'd go for it so much sooner.

 

Never take anything for granted. Last year my Mum was in Hospital, i was going to go and see her on the Monday but i decided not to as she was coming home on the Thursday, 0.500 Wednesday morning i got a call from my neice telling me to get to the Hospital, i got there at 0630, by 0650 she was Dead, now i feel guilty and upset i didnt go on the Monday and spend a few more precious hours with her.

 

But at the same token you cant spend your time worrieng about what could happen but enjoy the time you have together, in life everyone and everything is only lent to us for a certain amount of time, so make the most of that time you have.

As other people have echoed, you only regret the things you don't do in life. It may be best to write a letter first of all and arrange a meet after that, even if they initially don't want a meet it is an ice breaker and shows that if they change their mind in the future you will always be willing to make an effort to change things for the better!

As other people have echoed, you only regret the things you don't do in life. It may be best to write a letter first of all and arrange a meet after that, even if they initially don't want a meet it is an ice breaker and shows that if they change their mind in the future you will always be willing to make an effort to change things for the better!

 

thats what im doing mark, after a sleep on it, a letter seams more appropriate. After all they can or wont choose to call me :wack:

 

thanks for words of wisdom folks :duffer:

 

cheersZ greg

A letter seems a really good start mate and at least then you can put everything down on paper that you want to say. Your making the first steps and it takes great courage to do so.

I fell out with my father many years ago and we didn't speak for about 3-4 years. In the end I wrote a letter which fell on deaf ears but even though I was hurt he hadn't replied I felt relieved that I'd got all my emotions and feelings out. Not long after I rang him and told him I was going to call in and see him which I did and we sorted it all out there and then.

Over the next 3 years we became very close, much more than when I was a child and I can't imagine how I would feel right now if I hadn't of made those steps forward because he died not that long ago.

I can look back now and cherish those few years we had after I made contact with him.

If the letter doesn't work (and remember they are both at a difficult age, hormonal etc) that's not the end. Give it time and write again or call until you get something positive back.

Best of luck, keep us posted fella G

A letter seems a really good start mate and at least then you can put everything down on paper that you want to say. Your making the first steps and it takes great courage to do so.

I fell out with my father many years ago and we didn't speak for about 3-4 years. In the end I wrote a letter which fell on deaf ears but even though I was hurt he hadn't replied I felt relieved that I'd got all my emotions and feelings out. Not long after I rang him and told him I was going to call in and see him which I did and we sorted it all out there and then.

Over the next 3 years we became very close, much more than when I was a child and I can't imagine how I would feel right now if I hadn't of made those steps forward because he died not that long ago.

I can look back now and cherish those few years we had after I made contact with him.

If the letter doesn't work (and remember they are both at a difficult age, hormonal etc) that's not the end. Give it time and write again or call until you get something positive back.

Best of luck, keep us posted fella G

 

letter is in post bud

 

will reply if i hear anything

 

iv never been close to my dad, its only the last few months we have got on, not really spoke for 5 years

 

but like you said its a weight of your mind when you can put it in a letter, that way its not so much on your mind

 

greg