* * * APOLOGIES FOR BEING SUCH A BITCH IN THIS THREAD BUT THESE PEOPLE WIND ME UP * * *

 

I seem to have a habit of attracting weird people on love@lycos, for example:

 

I get a message in my guestbook...

 

"hi there just dropped by to say hello"

 

So i go to have a look who left it...

 

Now let's break it down why i didn't reply (i'll save the pic till last it's classic):

 

 

Firstly, responding to the "catchline" i think given the size of her it wouldn't take much to chase her down... with a pack of wild dogs

 

"I enjoy clubbing and partying with friends" - what type of clubbing are we talking? Seal clubbing? Seriously if i saw this moose coming toward my nightclub i'd ban her

 

"I would like a man to wine and dine me" - I couldn't afford that even if i tried

 

"I am not bothered by looks" - No sh*t sherlock, do you have a mirror in your house?

 

"i don't mind if u can't afford to wine and dine me coz..." - Firstly text speak pees me off royally, secondly clutching at straws are we after saying i should chase you, then ask for me to wine and dine you and now say you don't mind if you don't. What you mean is you're desperate

 

Re: Everyday occupation - Looking at your occupation you're not exactly catch of the century are you?

 

"Children - None, hope i will some day" - I severely hope not, there's a point where i think sterilisation needs to be compulsary

 

And just when you think it can't get any worse, here comes the pic....

 

 

And immediately after i get this woman with no chin and no grasp of english grammar:

 

 

Who's description is as follows:

 

"well im 24 lives near sheffield, 5 10 long brown hair dyed diffrent colours, brown eyes, clothes 18-20, shoe size 9, bra 38b, plus i cant drive yet either. ( :rofl: )

 

things i like:

sci fi

football and cricket

geneaology

criminology

drawing

writing short stories

walks in the park

bars and pubs

meeting over seas people

ect................"

 

Fook me why i can't i get any normal people contact me???? :rofl:

they wash themselves wi a raaaag ona stik

 

pmsl :rofl: wtf are you on matey? lol

pmsl :rofl: wtf are you on matey? lol

ive spent an evening with jack and napoleon treating myself as ive been under the car all day................not fixing it but its got a dodgy handbrake lol

eh stop it thats my mum :nono:

mummy whos your friend is that why daddy left mummy mummy talk to me........what yes i'll go get you some more chilli sauce for your 18 kebabs.............i love you mummy its sunday tommorow so its of to the car wash for your weekly bath

they wash themselves wi a raaaag ona stik

 

:rofl:

 

I remember that from somewhere...

damn that's going to bug me lol

:rofl:

 

I remember that from somewhere...

the simpsons i believe cos it cant have been from top gear as those are the only thing i watch on tv...............oh and the adult channel

Are you sure she's not just holding onto her dinner?

Are you sure she's not just holding onto her dinner?

 

lol, there is that look on her face like a lobster in a fish tank in the restaurant

the simpsons i believe cos it cant have been from top gear as those are the only thing i watch on tv...............oh and the adult channel

Unless it was Clarkson talking about Hamster?

 

Hmmm, I must have missed that one.

Are you sure she's not just holding onto her dinner?

 

 

:bow:

Unless it was Clarkson talking about Hamster?

lol dont forget top gear tommorrow mmmmmmmmmm at last some good tv almost makes up for having to go to work on monday

lol, there is that look on her face like a lobster in a fish tank in the restaurant

no she's just spotted the cake trolley

you know what they say inside every fat person there is a thin person waiting to be set free................................yeh cos they have fookin eaten em

the simpsons i believe cos it cant have been from top gear as those are the only thing i watch on tv...............oh and the adult channel

 

 

Simpsons, yes that's it.

 

Good quoting. :rofl:

you know what they say inside every fat person there is a thin person waiting to be set free................................yeh cos they have fookin eaten em

 

 

pmsl :rofl:

Ya know, I think that first one was in Blade

fpmsl :rofl:

Ya know, I think that first one was in Blade

 

:rofl:

fpmsl :rofl:

why has this one got orange peel round her mouth? Bet its outspan? seriously cute tho.

 

The one and only time i had a blind date was a complete disaster, recomended me by a mates wife who painted such a rosie picture of her mate i decided to go and meet her. Fook me what a munter i was imbarassed to be in her company, wasted a fookin beer as well, said just going to the toilet and climbed out the window, far as i know she still waiting for me to come out lol, bet me beer's flat now, it was over 10 years ago

why has this one got orange peel round her mouth? Bet its outspan? seriously cute tho.

 

The one and only time i had a blind date was a complete disaster, recomended me by a mates wife who painted such a rosie picture of her mate i decided to go and meet her. Fook me what a munter i was imbarassed to be in her company, wasted a fookin beer as well, said just going to the toilet and climbed out the window, far as i know she still waiting for me to come out lol, bet me beer's flat now, it was over 10 years ago

 

pmsl :rofl:

 

I think it's quite cute, women in valencia seem to like wearing orange for some reason

pmsl :rofl:

 

I think it's quite cute, women in valencia seem to like wearing orange for some reason

 

My sister just moved back from Velencia, she lived in Chiba just outside the city, i must admit didnt see many with orange but see some cracking looking totie, better when they are covered in Tomato from the festival lol wet T shirts come to mind lol

My sister just moved back from Velencia, she lived in Chiba just outside the city, i must admit didnt see many with orange but see some cracking looking totie, better when they are covered in Tomato from the festival lol wet T shirts come to mind lol

 

i met the cutest bar maid in la claca a small hip bar in the main square, only about 5 foot tall but cute as ****

 

didn't speak a word of english but managed to flirt with her a bit

 

also the receptionist at the youth hostel was pretty fit and had worked in nottingham so her english was spot on :D

i met the cutest bar maid in la claca a small hip bar in the main square, only about 5 foot tall but cute as ****

 

didn't speak a word of english but managed to flirt with her a bit

 

also the receptionist at the youth hostel was pretty fit and had worked in nottingham so her english was spot on :D

 

get yourself back out to spain and get hold of a girl out there, i come with ya and we'll go totie shopping and bag a couple of duty free birds, thats where i would go mate, also italy have some crackers i went out with an italian bird fookin gorgeous she was