What is the most embarrassing moment or quote you have ever had or said, the kind of moment where you just wish a hole in the ground would appear so you could disappear down it.

 

one of my many was when I was round a then girlfriends perants house with her having a nice cup of tea with her and the mother when the girlfriend suddenly out the blue says, Carl do you love me? And me with my big mouth that opens before i think replys...........well i fook you dont i! Then there was silence except the sound of my jaw hitting the ground as i realised where i was and what i had said :rofl: :rofl:

having sex with an ex's mother, and her and her dad walking in, say no more

 

 

Mmmmm grab a granny night at tesco every thursday :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

was in chester many many years ago with my then soon to be wife , her mother and father ...we had no condoms so we made an excuse to get away from the parents and and looked for a chemist ..there was a boots chemist but as a young lad i didnt want the stigma of buying nodders over the counter from some ginger minger..so we continued looking until we found a small corner shop chemists ..i went in and as luck would have it there was guy behind the counter, great i thought , i mingled amongst the aftershaves and toothpastes until the lady he was serving left and i and my fiance went to the counter ..in a clear strong voice i said , "excuse me i would like to buy some condoms" ......'certainly sir" he minced ..oh no i thought ,a raging shirt lifter !! ..."come this was sir" he lisped and he minced over to a glass topped counter and said "what type does sir require" i said featherlite please .....he looked slowly left then slowly right and said ...small or large !! i put my hands about 6" apart and said about medium i think .......no no no sir 3 or 12 pack ...........i wanted the floor to open up and swallow me ..my fiance was in hysterics and told her parents as soon as we met them ......

was in chester many many years ago with my then soon to be wife , her mother and father ...we had no condoms so we made an excuse to get away from the parents and and looked for a chemist ..there was a boots chemist but as a young lad i didnt want the stigma of buying nodders over the counter from some ginger minger..so we continued looking until we found a small corner shop chemists ..i went in and as luck would have it there was guy behind the counter, great i thought , i mingled amongst the aftershaves and toothpastes until the lady he was serving left and i and my fiance went to the counter ..in a clear strong voice i said , "excuse me i would like to buy some condoms" ......'certainly sir" he minced ..oh no i thought ,a raging shirt lifter !! ..."come this was sir" he lisped and he minced over to a glass topped counter and said "what type does sir require" i said featherlite please .....he looked slowly left then slowly right and said ...small or large !! i put my hands about 6" apart and said about medium i think .......no no no sir 3 or 12 pack ...........i wanted the floor to open up and swallow me ..my fiance was in hysterics and told her parents as soon as we met them ......

 

Priceless

Pmfsl.....

My first sexual experiance was very embarrasing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I WAS ON ME OWN."

was in chester many many years ago with my then soon to be wife , her mother and father ...we had no condoms so we made an excuse to get away from the parents and and looked for a chemist ..there was a boots chemist but as a young lad i didnt want the stigma of buying nodders over the counter from some ginger minger..so we continued looking until we found a small corner shop chemists ..i went in and as luck would have it there was guy behind the counter, great i thought , i mingled amongst the aftershaves and toothpastes until the lady he was serving left and i and my fiance went to the counter ..in a clear strong voice i said , "excuse me i would like to buy some condoms" ......'certainly sir" he minced ..oh no i thought ,a raging shirt lifter !! ..."come this was sir" he lisped and he minced over to a glass topped counter and said "what type does sir require" i said featherlite please .....he looked slowly left then slowly right and said ...small or large !! i put my hands about 6" apart and said about medium i think .......no no no sir 3 or 12 pack ...........i wanted the floor to open up and swallow me ..my fiance was in hysterics and told her parents as soon as we met them ......

 

fpmsl :rofl: :rofl: thats funny, i usually just cut the little finger off a marrigold glove, does me :tongue:

My first sexual experiance was very embarrasing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I WAS ON ME OWN."

 

What about the sheep you was with then vinz :rofl:

Not exactly me own story but..............Mate of mine from work (honest!) been out on the town ,gets home late to find his missus had been waiting up for him and does her nut, storms of to bed. He,under the considerable influence of drink, decides he has nothing to gain from following her up to the 'love nest', so opts to watch one of his 'secret' porn films. After much time has passed she gets up to see where he's got to, goes downstairs to discover him fast asleep in the armchair, trousers round his ankles, covered in his own cold jizz !

My first sexual experiance was very embarrasing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I WAS ON ME OWN."

and it was only yesterday. lol

Not exactly me own story but..............Mate of mine from work (honest!) been out on the town ,gets home late to find his missus had been waiting up for him and does her nut, storms of to bed. He,under the considerable influence of drink, decides he has nothing to gain from following her up to the 'love nest', so opts to watch one of his 'secret' porn films. After much time has passed she gets up to see where he's got to, goes downstairs to discover him fast asleep in the armchair, trousers round his ankles, covered in his own cold jizz !

 

 

trousers round his ankles, :rofl: :rofl: that is the funiest sentence can picture it

Not exactly me own story but..............Mate of mine from work (honest!) been out on the town ,gets home late to find his missus had been waiting up for him and does her nut, storms of to bed. He,under the considerable influence of drink, decides he has nothing to gain from following her up to the 'love nest', so opts to watch one of his 'secret' porn films. After much time has passed she gets up to see where he's got to, goes downstairs to discover him fast asleep in the armchair, trousers round his ankles, covered in his own cold jizz !

was it bee gee vinz

was it bee gee vinz

 

if it was it was a tradgedy :rofl: :rofl:

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: very clever. that song was wrote for him.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: very clever. that song was wrote for him.

http://tradgedy.ytmnd.com/ :dance: :dance: :dance: :tongue:

http://tradgedy.ytmnd.com/ :dance: :dance: :dance: :tongue:

 

dont tell me thats your screen saver vinz :rofl: :rofl:

dont tell me thats your screen saver vinz :rofl: :rofl:

Did you get the music with it.Seems to work on IE but not on Mozilla. Not the same without the music . :cry:

Did you get the music with it.Seems to work on IE but not on Mozilla. Not the same without the music . :cry:

 

yep got the music, now cant get the bloody song out my head :rofl: :headvswal

Man thats scary

I just gotta bump this :D

 

Craig David's post is possibly the funniest thing I ever read :D :bow: :bow: :mac1:

When I was in 6th form, our common room was quite big - enough for two pool tables and seated about 100 people. One lunchtime, I bent over to play a shot and let go of a "silent but deadly fart". My (so called) mate said "Urgh, Jim!" and ran away. A few seconds later, about 40 people all got up and left, coughing, holding noses and commenting on the smell on the way out, until I was left all alone. I wanted the ground to swallow me whole.

THIS WASN,T ME but i was told at work about a guy who borrowed a porn video and wanted to copy it for himself , he didnt have 2 video recorders to link together but he did have a video camera so he set it up videoing the screen on his telly while he watched the film .

He gave the original film back seeing as he,s now got his own copy , it was this copy he lent out to his mate , his mate put the film on, not only could he see the film but the reflection on the screen of his mate on the settee chucking one off :xxx: :xxx: :rofl: :rofl:

THIS WASN,T ME but i was told at work about a guy who borrowed a porn video and wanted to copy it for himself , he didnt have 2 video recorders to link together but he did have a video camera so he set it up videoing the screen on his telly while he watched the film .

He gave the original film back seeing as he,s now got his own copy , it was this copy he lent out to his mate , his mate put the film on, not only could he see the film but the reflection on the screen of his mate on the settee chucking one off :xxx: :xxx: :rofl: :rofl:

did mantav8 give you the vid back? :rofl:

did mantav8 give you the vid back? :rofl:

:slap: :nono: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

wheni was a stupid kid i went out with this girl whos parents were loaded big house posh cars stuff like that ( i think the lass was rebelling against her parents ) we had gone out the night before and she had sneaked me back to her house and up to her room....we were shattered so went straight to sleep in the morning she woke me and made it clear she was in the mood for lurve so away we went....when we had finished i rolled over to find a cup of tea and some crumpets on her bedside table it turns out her mum had brought her breakfast in bed .....we had never heard her come into the bedroom needless to say i made a hasty retreat when i sheepishly went into the kitchen and was told by this gals mum that her husband had gone into leeds to buy a new shotgun as he was going hunting in the afternoon

funny but the relationship didnt last long after that as i was too scared to call her or go round her house

daft stuff we do as kids

I've had my fair share of embarasing moments, most so bad I wont describe them here. One that stands out is from when I was still living in California. Me and my friends used to go out to the desert to ride motocross. I had a Maico 440, which had a beast of a motor but was very heavy and had terrible suspension. One day we were tearing along a trail at the top of a ridge when I managed to slide off the road onto a very steep slope, no mater how hard I tried I could not get the bike back up to the trail. I finaly decided I would just ride straight down the slope while dragging my rear brake until I reached the bottom which ended in a creek bed. As soon as I turned down hill I knew I made a mistake as the ground was so loose I could not control my speed. The hill was dotted with Yucca (cactus) and I hit one head on, went over the bars, and knocked my self silly. After getting back on my feet and picking the bike up I jumped back on and of course plowed straight into the next Yucca, over the bars again with the bike landing on top of me this time. This exercise was repeated four more times before I reached the botom of the hill. As I sat there catching my breath and trying to find my feet I took a good look around at the surrounding area for the first time. Imagine my surprise when I spotted the 10 4X4's parked on the oposite ridge, all of the drivers out of their Jeeps and absolutly wetting themselves as they had watched the entire humiliating event. One of them had a video camera, they probably still watch the tape for laughs...