Posted October 19, 200618 yr > In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through > stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods: > > > ======================== > > > On Woolworth's Tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom):- > > "Do not turn upside down." > > > (Well...duh, a bit late!) > > > ========================== > > > On Pick 'n Pay's peanuts:- > > "Warning: Contains nuts." > > > (Talk about a news flash) > > > =========================== > > > On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:- > > "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this > medication." > > > (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we > could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.) > > > ========================== > > > On a Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:- > > "Product will be hot after heating." > > > (...and you thought????...) > > > ================================= > > > On a Clicks hair dryer:- > > "Do not use while sleeping." > > > (But that's the only time I have to work on my hair!) > > > ==================================== > > > On a bag of Simba Chips:- > > "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary! Details inside." > > > (The shoplifter special?) > > > =========================== > > > On a bar of Dove soap:- > > > "Directions: Use like regular soap." > > > (And that would be...???) > > > ============================ > > > On some Checkers frozen dinners:- > > > "Serving suggestion: Defrost." > > > (Please note that it's just a suggestion.) > > > ======================== > > > On the packaging of a Rowenta iron:- > > "Don't iron clothes on body." > > (But wouldn't this save time?) > > > ============================== > > > On Nytol Sleep Aid:- > > "Warning: May cause drowsiness." > > > (...I'm taking this because?) > > > =============================== > > > On some brands of Christmas lights of Eastern origin:- > > "For indoor or outdoor use only." > > > (As opposed to what?) > > > ========================== > > > On a Japanese food processor:- > > "Not to be used for the other use." > > > (Now, somebody out there, please help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) > > > ============================== > > > Instructions on a SA Airways packet of peanuts:- > > [1] Open packet > > [2] Eat nuts > > > (Step 3: Swallow?... Step 4: Digest?...) > > > =========================== > > > On a child's Superman costume:- > > "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." > > > (Don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) > > > ======================== > > > On a German chainsaw:- > > "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." > > > (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) ;)
October 19, 200618 yr I bought a pint of milk in Tesco yesterday. On the label it says :- Allergy Advice: Contains milk
October 19, 200618 yr :rofl: :rofl: some real crackers there!! the smart comments below them are just as good!
October 19, 200618 yr I must remember the chainsaw one :rolleyes: You never know when you might be tempted to stop the thing by shoving your knackers into the blade........... :tongue: I have something to say............ It's better to burn out than to fade away..... :tt2:
> In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
> stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
>
>
> ========================
>
>
> On Woolworth's Tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom):-
>
> "Do not turn upside down."
>
>
> (Well...duh, a bit late!)
>
>
> ==========================
>
>
> On Pick 'n Pay's peanuts:-
>
> "Warning: Contains nuts."
>
>
> (Talk about a news flash)
>
>
> ===========================
>
>
> On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:-
>
> "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this
> medication."
>
>
> (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
> could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
>
>
> ==========================
>
>
> On a Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:-
>
> "Product will be hot after heating."
>
>
> (...and you thought????...)
>
>
> =================================
>
>
> On a Clicks hair dryer:-
>
> "Do not use while sleeping."
>
>
> (But that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
>
>
> ====================================
>
>
> On a bag of Simba Chips:-
>
> "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary! Details inside."
>
>
> (The shoplifter special?)
>
>
> ===========================
>
>
> On a bar of Dove soap:-
>
>
> "Directions: Use like regular soap."
>
>
> (And that would be...???)
>
>
> ============================
>
>
> On some Checkers frozen dinners:-
>
>
> "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
>
>
> (Please note that it's just a suggestion.)
>
>
> ========================
>
>
> On the packaging of a Rowenta iron:-
>
> "Don't iron clothes on body."
>
> (But wouldn't this save time?)
>
>
> ==============================
>
>
> On Nytol Sleep Aid:-
>
> "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
>
>
> (...I'm taking this because?)
>
>
> ===============================
>
>
> On some brands of Christmas lights of Eastern origin:-
>
> "For indoor or outdoor use only."
>
>
> (As opposed to what?)
>
>
> ==========================
>
>
> On a Japanese food processor:-
>
> "Not to be used for the other use."
>
>
> (Now, somebody out there, please help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
>
>
> ==============================
>
>
> Instructions on a SA Airways packet of peanuts:-
>
> [1] Open packet
>
> [2] Eat nuts
>
>
> (Step 3: Swallow?... Step 4: Digest?...)
>
>
> ===========================
>
>
> On a child's Superman costume:-
>
> "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
>
>
> (Don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
>
>
> ========================
>
>
> On a German chainsaw:-
>
> "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
>
>
> (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
;)